Why I Love F@#cking Matt Damon
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Once upon a time, I fell madly in love with Matt Damon because he called James Bond an "imperialist and a misogynist." Then he did a bunch of other shit that made me jizz in my pants. And now, he's taking me back to that place where we first fell in love:
"They could never make a James Bond movie like any of the Bourne films," Damon says scornfully. "Because Bond is an imperialist, misogynist sociopath who goes around bedding women and swilling martinis and killing people. He's repulsive."
-- and he's bringing me flowers:
[T]he small talk -- if that's the right phrase -- ranged from which New York Times columnist is the worst (conservative William Kristol, according to Damon: "He's an idiot -- he wrote that we should be grateful to George Bush because he won the Iraq war. We! Won! The! War!") to the proper place of torture in American foreign policy.
-- and he's serenading me: