Bush's First Year: A Quiz

By Daniel Kurtzman, AlterNet. Posted January 17, 2002.

1. What prank did outgoing Clinton staffers pull on the incoming Bush staff?

a) They emptied out all the condom dispensers
b) They removed the "w" keys from the computers
c) They draped Monica's thong over the fuselage of Air Force One
d) They modified the nuclear briefcase to be operated by a Game Boy
e) They pardoned themselves for committing all of the above acts

2. Which product did President Bush endorse during a news conference with British Prime Minister Tony Blair, when asked whether the two leaders had found they shared anything common?

a) Colgate Toothpaste
b) Gold Bond Foot Powder
c) Lubriderm Hand & Body Lotion
d) Obsession For Men
e) VerbalAdvantage

3. Which one of the following is not a nickname that Bush has reportedly given out?

a) Karl Rove: "Turd Blossom"
b) Colin Powell: "Baloonfoot"
c) Karen Hughes: "High Prophet"
d) Dick Cheney: "Waldo"
e) Vladimir Putin: "Ostrich Legs"

4. What did Bush say he was "very sorry" about?

a) Skewing his tax cut toward the wealthiest 1 percent
b) Packing his administration with Enron executives
c) Overworking Dick Cheney prior to his emergency heart procedure
d) Sending a spy plane into China's airspace
e) Turning Al Gore over to a military tribunal

5. What did some Indian nationals announce they would do in retaliation for Bush naming his cat "India"?

a) Go to war with Pakistan
b) Sell nuclear secrets to Al Qaeda
c) Name their dogs "George Bush"
d) All of the above

6. What slight by the White House contributed to Vermont Sen. Jim Jeffords' decision to bolt the GOP?

a) He was not given a presidential nickname
b) He was not invited to a White House event honoring the Teacher of the Year
c) He was not invited to a White House event honoring the U.S. Supreme Court
d) He only received a $100 tax rebate check

7. What food item was added to the menu of the White House mess at Bush's insistence?

a) Pretzels
b) Fruit Loops
c) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
d) Tequila shooters
e) Arsenic-fortified drinking water

8. True or false: A group of senior White House staffers who convene each week to plot political strategy call themselves "The Strategery Group."

9. Bush said all of the following about his tax-cutting rationale except:

a) "It's your money. You paid for it."
b) "A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness."
c) "My pan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt."
d) "Not over my dead lips will they read your taxes."

10. Talk magazine created a stir by running a series of parody photographs that portrayed the Bush daughters as:

a) Jailbirds
b) Rhodes Scholars
c) White House interns
d) Presidential candidates
e) Women of cover

11. After careful deliberation, the Bush administration released an energy plan calling for:

a) More oil drilling and exploration
b) More electrical power plants
c) More nuclear power plants
d) More coal-burning plants
e) All of the above

12. True or false: When asked by a child in Britain to describe the White House, Bush replied, "It is white."

13. What was the name of the short-lived Comedy Central sitcom about the Bush White House?

a) "That '80s Show"
b) "Who Wants to Be a Bush"
c) "W Smackdown"
d) "Bushie the Terrorist Slayer"
e) "That's My Bush!"

14. Which of the following statements did Bush not make?

a) "Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."
b) "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
c) "They misunderestimated the fact that we love a neighbor in need. They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the Commander-in-Chief, too."
d) "I don't want to run the risk of ruining what is a lovely recession."
e) "The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants.

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