Artificial Virginity Hymen: Faking that Vacuum-Fresh Seal
Stay up to date with the latest headlines via email.
I'm not really sure what to say about this, other than if he wants to re-live you losing your virginity in all of its blood-oozing glory, or if you have to fake losing it to please him, dump the motherfucker already:
A reader tipped us off to the "Artificial Virginity Hymen", which the company, Gigimo, claims "will expand a little and make you feel tight." The hymen also includes a packet that is activated during sex, which will "ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount." As if that wasn't horrifying enough, the company claims, "Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable."
Unfortunately for us ladies, the "artificial virginity hymen" doesn't come with an "artificial virginity penis" that jackhammers for 22 seconds before shrivelling and passing out next to you in the backseat of his parents' car.