A Blow(hard) for the Right at CNN?

News item: CNN and Rush Limabugh have discussed the possibility of an on-air position for the radio talk-show host.

Good evening and welcome to CNN's coverage of Election Night 2004. I'm Judy Woodruf.

And I'm Jeff Greenfield.

And I am the Voice of Reason and Righteousness, speaking the truth to you with talent on loan from God.

Thank you, Rush. Now, Jeff, this election is turning into yet another squeaker. Why is that?

Well, Judy, the American electorate once again seems evenly --

Divided between those Americans who care about truth, honesty and facts and those who waste their time watching the liberal-dominated media and being brainwashed by femiNazis, socialists, and gun-grabbing whiners.

But, Jeff, was this an election influenced more by politics or personality?

Judy, in presidential contests it's always hard to tease out these two factors --

Hard only for liberals and readers of The New York Times and The Washington Post. God-fearing Americans -- like those good people who listen to my little radio show everday -- know that when character is present, the right policies -- and I do mean Right -- follow. Espousing immoral positions -- gay rights, the subjugation of mankind to animals, double taxation that steals your money after you're dead -- is an unmistakable sign of immorality. Can it be any simpler than that? Why can't the media elite understand that?

There was much talk about the environment in this election, right Jeff?

So much so, that both candidates --

Felt they had to kow-tow to burlap-wearing, wiccan-worshipping eco-fascists. Folks, those self-hating losers feel more sympathy for an endangered gnat than a hard-working guy employed in the sustainable timber industry. Did you know that outside Fort Wayne, Indiana, they stopped construction of a power plant because of a worm? A worm, ladies and gentlemen. A worm. What happens when a kidney dialysis machines goes out at some person's home because of a worm? Now there's a lawsuit under way -- all because of a worm. What are they going to do, bring that worm in for a deposition? Well, I'll let the Democrats and their eco-extremist pals defend the worm. Maybe they can get their trial attorney-friends -- the ones who give them all their campaign dollars -- to do the case pro bono. I tell you, Judy, I love being right.

In our exit polls, abortion seems to be be playing a role ....

Jeff, I'll take this one. Judy, have you ever seen firsthand a child destroyed by abortion? Ripped apart. Torn apart. Literally, limb from limb. Why? Because they were an inconvenience or the wrong sex. Did you know, my friends, that 43 percent of all abortions -- nearly half -- are done for reasons of sex selection?

Forty-three percent, Rush? What's your source for that?

That's right, Judy. The source is an article that was faxed to me. Look, I have it right here in a file folder. And furthermore, another poll showed that 93 percent of the public say they are glad they were not aborted. So it is clear that it's good politics to oppose this form of genocide. It's not a matter of "choice." Choice? A Cohiba Lancero or a Montecristo Torpedo -- that's a choice. Killing is not a choice. That's the propaganda of the have-sex-with-whoever-or-whatever-you-like crowd. Judy, we in the media -- including a harmless old lovable fuzzball like me -- have an obligation to talk in real terms. As I have said throughout my long and illustrious broadcasting career, liberal Democrats and those moderate Republican wimps who keep telling us the public is in favor of abortion wouldn't be able to say that if they had to call abortion what it is: fetus-destruction. Let's have a poll -- a real poll, Do you support or oppose the violent dismemberment of fetuses?

Well, pretty soon, polls will be closing and we'll have some numbers in a moment, but first a message from our sponsor. Rush?