Obama Unfairly Attacked for Crimes He Didn't Commit (Again)

We've seen this show before: specious attempts to connect Barack Obama with corrupt or controversial figures in Chicago, followed, then, by a Republican and establishment media outcry for the president-elect to denounce and reject them.

A friend wrote earlier today:

I'm pretty sure you can tie Obama to the first Daley administration and its attendant corruption. Also, wasn't Obama somehow connected to Chicago crime boss Al Capone? And are you going to tell me that Chicago-based Obama was never involved in milking Mrs. O'Leary's arsonist cow?

We just can't be sure, can we? To be on the safe side, perhaps the president-elect ought to denounce and reject the cow anyway. Forcefully. Several times. While he's at it, how about rejecting Principal Rooney from the Chicago-based movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Breaking and entering the Bueller household through the dog door? I mean, come on, Mr. President-elect! That's not only a felony but also an egregious abuse of high school administrative power, sir, and you must denounce it.