The Radical Notion of Sex for Pleasure

By Lara Riscol, AlterNet. Posted June 26, 2001.

He walks up behind me as I stand on a wall overlooking the orange-shimmering sea. He places one hand flat above my pelvis, the other gently on the small of my back, slips a finger up my belly button and moves my energy until I silently scream. Later, we wine and dine, talk and laugh. On a balcony, we explore each other's bodies, lit by a thunderstorm. Touching and tasting. Slowly, starting and finishing with the face. Lips brushing, sucking the mouth, sides of the nose, hard between the eyes, tracing the eyelids. Entering the other with an urgency to consume, to be consumed, throughout the night, morning, and still wanting more.

When my mind pushes the replay button, I see that all my best sex has been for pleasure. Not sex for power or longing or need or hope. Not to be loved or wanted or desired. Not in exchange for commitment, security or promises. Not to meet expectations. But sex for pleasure. Raw, sweet, sad. Fun, powerful, intimate. Transcendent. Tender. Mind-blowing. Exquisite, loving pleasure.

This week the U.S. Surgeon General came out with a "Call to Action" for sexual health and responsible sexual behavior. Dr. David Satcher did what no other U.S. political appointee has had the courage, will or capacity to do before -- lay out scientific steps to address the sociosexual ills ravaging America. The very topics of the unprecedented report -- HIV and AIDS, teenage pregnancy, abortion, adolescent promiscuity, incest, violence against sexual minorities -- might make some uncomfortable. But perhaps most controversial is Dr. Satcher's acknowledgement that "beyond procreation, sex is for pleasure."

Radical? Sure, considering America's restrictive political fury surrounding sex and morality. Past Surgeons General have faced backlash when addressing sex. Reagan's Surgeon General, Dr. C. Everett Koop, endured conservatives' wrath when calling for AIDS education in public schools. Clinton's Dr. Joycelyn Elders was instantly slammed for suggesting that maybe kids should be taught that masturbation is natural and normal.

As I sit writing in a Paris sidewalk café (yeah, pretty original), I watch young lovers walk by arm in arm, lost in each other's gaze, and wonder when teen sex became so taboo in America. And when did Republicans became the party to dictate what consenting adults do in private? How did my country become so enamored with the cult of virginity, electing a president who didn't save himself for marriage, but advances millions of taxpayer dollars to tell other people -- younger, poorer -- to do just that?

Moreover, how in such an "evolved" country does federal legislation officially sanction sex in marriage as the standard for human sexuality? What authority!

My last sexuality conference in Dubrovnik, Croatia, intimate and intense, mostly explored the pain, chaos and politics of sexuality. Not unlike the public discourse in the States. But now I'm attending the 15th World Congress on Sexology, the first to be sponsored by the World Health Organization, involving more than 2000 participants and 80 countries. Here the overriding theme is pleasure.

Liked this story? Get top stories in your inbox each week from AlterNet! Sign up now »