White House to Serve Genetically Modified Foods!

The White House announced today that it plans to begin serving some genetically modified foods at official government functions. The move is intended to head off criticism by environmental and consumer groups that the altered foods are unsafe.

"You really can't tell the difference," said White House chef Daniel Arreido, the former executive chef at Laylo in Austin, Texas, who recently replaced long-time Clinton cook Walter Scheib III. "It may be genetically altered but it tastes just the same," said Arreido, noting that the first family already consumes milk containing bovine growth hormone.

The White House plans to debut the new food items at a state dinner next month for French Prime Minister Lionel Jospin. According to Arreido, the menu for the dinner will include such delicacies as pan-seared genetically altered super salmon and Texas-style corn pudding made with Star Link corn. "These are traditional Texas recipes," said Arreido, "but with a special twist."

A spokesman for the French Embassy claimed to be unaware of the changes to the White House meal plan.

Naomi Jurgen-Stoors, a spokeswoman for the activist group Healthy Planet, which supports mandatory labeling on all products containing genetically modified ingredients, said that the White House announcement had come as a surprise. "Our main problem with GM food, what we call 'franken food,' is that its long-term impact on humans has never been tested," said Jurgen-Stoors. "Now I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens to the first family."

Not everyone in the Bush administration supports the new policy, which is said to have been the idea of Vice President Dick Cheney. Just last weekend, Environmental Protection Agency chief Christine Todd Whitman voiced concern about the safety of the altered foods while appearing on the weekly political talk show Meet the Press. "This administration plans to keep a watchful eye on these products," said Whitman.

For the first family, that "watchful eye" may be on the lookout for seconds.