Why I'll Masturbate on May 20

On May 20 I'll masturbate as long as possible to raise money for the Feminist Women's Health Centers. Hubby's probably cringing as he reads this. He said he has to draw the line somewhere when I mentioned Toys in Babeland's third annual Masturbate-A-Thon. Surely he was picturing the "Come for a Cause" philanthropy to involve some whack room with a judge. But it's an honor system and you can sponsor me for every minute I play with myself on Masturbation Day in Masturbation May.

May, also, happens to be Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month. So while one group celebrates masturbation as a vital part of human sexuality, another group champions denial of sexuality before marriage as social policy. Despite recent declines, the U.S. still boldly leads developed nations in the highest rates of teen pregnancy, abortion and birth. Four out of ten girls become pregnant before age 20, almost 80 percent by accident.

On May 1, about 300 youth at a Louisiana convention pleaded for the end of an "immoral society" and trumpeted abstinence as the path. "God gave sex as something for married people and when we violate that, we violate the law of God," said the teen winner of an essay contest on why abstinence should be the choice for youth. The convention and essay were sponsored by the Governor's Program on Abstinence, which aims to establish abstinence-only in all 420 high schools throughout the state.

Conducting masturbation workshops since the early 70s, Betty Dodson sees the chastity movement as a frightening setback. "Before sex was never mentioned and sometimes that's not a bad thing. You can draw your own conclusions," Dr. Dodson said. "Now we hear sex is wrong, bad, shameful before marriage. How birth control always fails ... you'll die if you're gay. The most negative images possible. So you have sexual feelings, reach down and touch your own genitals and feel wrong and guilty because you should wait until you're married."

In 1994 before Congress voted to fund abstinence-only, President "oral sex isn't sex" Clinton fired Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders for answering a question on the spread of AIDS and the discussion of masturbation. She said, "As per your specific question in regard to masturbation, I think that is something that is a part of human sexuality and it's a part of something that perhaps should be taught. But we've not even taught children the very basics, and I feel that we have tried ignorance for a very long time, and it's time we try education."

On the 2000 campaign trail when a reporter asked about incorporating the discussion of masturbation into abstinence programs, now President Bush answered, "That's pathetic."

And girls are still taught that masturbation is pathetic; something only boys do, not good girls. Surveys show that 90 percent of men and 65 percent of women masturbate. I think the remaining 35 percent are liars, but given that the clitoris -- or female pleasure zone -- is still absent from high school biology textbooks, maybe not. Taught only of the vagina as the birth canal, and her sex as a bargaining chip to land a rich husband, or a record deal, many girls grow up to be non-orgasmic women suffering from the latest pop disease: "female sexual dysfunction."

As pharmaceutical companies race for the clit cure, state governments are busy banning sex paraphernalia that might stimulate that diagnosed bloodflow deficiency. Seven states make it harder to buy a sex toy than a gun. If an adult wants to purchase an intimate toy in Texas she must first sign a release form that says she understands that this vibrator, or dildo, is for strictly educational and/or scientific purposes only.

In Alabama, sex toys, or even ribbed condoms, can earn you a maximum of $10,000 fine and up to a year hard labor. A federal appeals court recently upheld this 1998 obscenity law, outlawing the sale of "any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs." The unanimous decision ruled that Alabama's "interest in public morality is a legitimate interest rationally served by the statute." No word yet on the morality of the FDA's $400 EROS clitoral pump or the culpability of medical doctors who prescribe it.