News & Politics

DURST: The CBS-Viacom Wet Dream

Now that Viacom -- which owns MTV, Comedy Central and Nickelodeon -- has gobbled up CBS, its programmers are having cross-fertilization wet dreams. When they breed classic CBS shows with flashy MTV cuts, you can expect to see programs like "Walker: South Park Ranger" and "Yo! Bryant Gumbel Raps..."
For the bargain basement price of $36 billion, CBS just got itself gobbled up by Viacom Inc., to join an entertainment empire partially consisting of MTV, VH1, Comedy Central and Nickelodeon. With a stable already including The Nashville Network and Country Music Television, this move leads to a programmer's cross-fertilization wet dream, with shows able to feed off fragments of other shows and characters hanging ten on a cross-promotion surfboard sixteen channels wide. This synergy is bound to change the looks of the "Tiffany Network," along with the other channels, a mite more than somewhat. Here's a few possibilities: - Matlock's Road Rules.- One of those Diagnosis Murder stunt episodes where all the suspects are Rugrats.- Mike Wallace, Dan Rather and Morely Safer Celebrate Spring Break in Havana.- David Letterman: Live At Budhakon.- Walker: South Park Ranger.- Touched By A Sponge Bob.- 48 Hours: The Real Real World.- Nash Bridges replaces Cheech with Catdog.- Total Request Andy Rooney Live.- JAG's House Of Style.- Where Are They Now?: The King of Queens.- The Animorphs With New Improved Howard Stern On It.- Everybody Loves Ben Stein's Money.- Crook & Chase & Cosby.- Martial Law Meets The Goo Goo Dolls.- Yo! Bryant Gumbel Raps.Will Durst thinks you could light up the entire Eastern Seabord by attaching a generator to harness the spinning of William Paley's grave.
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