Online Community: Do We Need It? How Do We Make It Happen? Part 1

Loucifer: My inner critic tells me I was a "bad kid" because I rebelled and said awful things to my parents. I believe it, and feel guilty about it -- but I don't really (intellectually) think I was a bad kid, and my parents don't think I was. What does your inner critic say to you? Do you believe it?

MeghanM: My inner critic can be quite the bitch at times. "You're fat," "I can't believe you dropped out of college, you're stupid, you're never going to amount to anything. Some liberated woman you are, wanting to have a partner to cook and clean for and have [children] with." Usually I try and tell the Voice to fuck off, but sometimes, it gets bad and I just lie on the bed and cry ... I know that it's driven by my own fears, both real and imagined, and I know that I shouldn't listen to it. Maybe one day it will go away altogether.

Cricket: Right now my inner critic is telling me it's all my fault that my boyfriend broke up with me.

MeghanM: Cricket ... It wasn't because of you. You rock. He sucked.

Cricket, Loucifer, and Meghan. They are used to giving personal, intimate advice and sharing their experiences under anonymous names and in front of a potentially large audience. They have been involved in dozens of conversations like "Your Inner Critic," covering everything from elections to underwear but they've never met. However, they don't view their relationships as make believe, either. Last year, Loucifer bought them all Christmas presents.

Welcome to the contradictory world of the message board. All around the web, young people are creating thriving communities on message boards, also known as "discussion forums" or just "boards." Squishy (linked to the online diary of LA-based writer and performer Pamela Ribon) has nearly 2000 members in cities all over the world. At 360hiphop.com up and coming MC's test out rhymes and network on the boards. At Marigold Zine, a Canadian feminist site that bills itself as "40% political rally, 60% slumber party," members mentor each other and collaborate on political activity and creative projects. At many boards, youth speak openly about how the message boards have given them support and understanding that they've never felt in "the real world."

"Here you're judged for your thoughts, not your looks," says Alexis Brett, 18, who posts on Marigold as "Carrot." "At school, I'm not one of the popular kids ... Because of Marigold, I now know a lot of really strong, excellent women that are friends, but also role models for me ... It's made me more confident because I see how cool they are and that they like me because I'm me."

"I'm too weird for a lot of people at my school. I'm not cool enough ... don't have the perfect look or personality," writes "Drew", 15, who posts at Squishy three to five times a day. He says on the boards, "I'm accepted in a way I'm never accepted anywhere else."

Message Boards consist of a sequential list of responses ("posts") to a given topic, arranged linearly so the entire conversation is visible to anyone who visits. Because they don't happen in real time, people often take longer to formulate their responses than with chat rooms or instant messaging, so the conversation is usually less flirty and superficial. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to find your best friend or the solution to your biggest problems on message boards. Much of the conversation is silly, harmless fun.

"Picture a group of people goofing around on a long bus ride," said Ribon, 25, of the boards at Squishy. The posters there respond to serious life questions (whether a woman should take her husband's name), but also write phony love letters to one another.

"It's no surprise that our most popular topics are Relationships and Hip-Hop, and not politics," said Mike Baker, 19, who moderates the boards at Youth In Control, an online project of Youth Radio. "But I think any conversation is good conversation. You post regularly and you feel like you have a piece of the site, a piece of the community."