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Why Working Women Are Stuck in the 1950s

By Ruth Rosen, The Nation. Posted February 27, 2007.


Though most mothers are in the workforce, Americans remain trapped in a time warp, convinced that women should and will care for children, the elderly, homes and communities.
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A baby is born. A child develops a high fever. A spouse breaks a leg. A parent suffers a stroke. These are the events that throw a working woman's delicate balance between work and family into chaos.

Although we read endless stories and reports about the problems faced by working women, we possess inadequate language for what most people view as a private rather than a political problem. "That's life," we tell each other, instead of trying to forge common solutions to these dilemmas.

That's exactly what housewives used to say when they felt unhappy and unfulfilled in the 1950s: "That's life." Although magazines often referred to housewives' unexplained depressions, it took Betty Friedan's 1963 bestseller to turn "the problem that has no name" into a household phrase, "the feminine mystique" -- the belief that a woman should find identity and fulfillment exclusively through her family and home.

The great accomplishment of the modern women's movement was to name such private experiences -- domestic violence, sexual harassment, economic discrimination, date rape -- and turn them into public problems that could be debated, changed by new laws and policies or altered by social customs. That is how the personal became political.

Although we have shelves full of books that address work/family problems, we still have not named the burdens that affect most of America's working families.

Call it the care crisis.

For four decades, American women have entered the paid workforce -- on men's terms, not their own -- yet we have done precious little as a society to restructure the workplace or family life. The consequence of this "stalled revolution," a term coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild, is a profound "care deficit." A broken healthcare system, which has left 47 million Americans without health coverage, means this care crisis is often a matter of life and death. Today the care crisis has replaced the feminine mystique as women's "problem that has no name." It is the elephant in the room -- at home, at work and in national politics -- gigantic but ignored.

Three decades after Congress passed comprehensive childcare legislation in 1971 -- Nixon vetoed it -- childcare has simply dropped off the national agenda. And in the intervening years, the political atmosphere has only grown more hostile to the idea of using federal funds to subsidize the lives of working families.

The result? People suffer their private crises alone, without realizing that the care crisis is a problem of national significance. Many young women agonize about how to combine work and family but view the question of how to raise children as a personal dilemma, to which they need to find an individual solution. Most cannot imagine turning it into a political debate. More than a few young women have told me that the lack of affordable childcare has made them reconsider plans to become parents. Annie Tummino, a young feminist active in New York, put it this way: "I feel terrified of the patchwork situation women are forced to rely upon. Many young women are deciding not to have children or waiting until they are well established in their careers."

Now that the Democrats are running both houses of Congress, we finally have an opportunity to expose the Right's cynical appropriation of "family values" by creating real solutions to the care crisis and making them central to the Democratic agenda. The obstacles, of course, are formidable, given that government and businesses -- as well as many men -- have found it profitable and convenient for women to shoulder the burden of housework and caregiving.

It is as though Americans are trapped in a time warp, still convinced that women should and will care for children, the elderly, homes and communities. But of course they can't, now that most women have entered the workforce. In 1950 less than a fifth of mothers with children under age 6 worked in the labor force. By 2000 two-thirds of these mothers worked in the paid labor market.

Men in dual-income couples have increased their participation in household chores and childcare. But women still manage and organize much of family life, returning home after work to a "second shift" of housework and childcare -- often compounded by a "third shift," caring for aging parents.

Conservatives typically blame the care crisis on the women's movement for creating the impossible ideal of "having it all." But it was women's magazines and popular writers, not feminists, who created the myth of the Superwoman. Feminists of the 1960s and '70s knew they couldn't do it alone. In fact, they insisted that men share the housework and child-rearing and that government and business subsidize childcare.

A few decades later, America's working women feel burdened and exhausted, desperate for sleep and leisure, but they have made few collective protests for government-funded childcare or family-friendly workplace policies. As American corporations compete for profits through layoffs and outsourcing, most workers hesitate to make waves for fear of losing their jobs.


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Ruth Rosen is a historian and journalist who teaches public policy at UC Berkeley. She is a senior fellow at the Longview Institute.

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this article raises a few questions...
Posted by: underground on Feb 27, 2007 1:23 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
this whole phenomenon is bizarre.

why would a woman who works 40 hours per week decide to have a child that requires at least another 40 to 60 (maybe more?) hours per week of care? it just doesn't seem very well thought out. of course exhaustion will set in.

let me ask another question: why would a couple (where each person is working 40 hours per week) decide to have a baby (or babies) that require(s) 40, 50, 60 hours per week of care? does that seem intelligent?

There simply arent enough hours in the week to do all that work and caring and stay healthy and sane.

here's another question: how common is it that someone is taking care of their parents *and* their children at the same time? let's say the grandparents are 80 when they start needing help eating and bathing, that would make the typical parents around 50, which would make the typical kids around 20. Why is a 50 yr old taking care of a 20 yr old?

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» Shey Posted by: underground
Subsidizing other people's kids
Posted by: kepstein7777 on Feb 27, 2007 3:18 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Why should people who don't want kids have to pay for the child care of those who do? And if they did subsidize child raising, more people would have kids, contributing to overpopulation, and taxing the system even more.

Subsidized elder care sounds ok, since almost everybody has parents and almost everybody gets old.

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» well... Posted by: JoshuaLudd
» Public schools Posted by: Donna_Darko
» Underground- Posted by: WitchyNy
Japan's "solution"
Posted by: akai ringo on Feb 27, 2007 3:42 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Japan, where I now live, has found one "solution", although whether the outcome can be classed as an improvement is debatable. From the late 1960s, when women entered higher education institutions in steadily increasing numbers, women's career aspirations rose. And when they found that increasingly raising children and having a worthwhile career were incompatible, many of them simply decided to say now to having children. On the one hand, the opportunities for sexual intercourse, with an increasingly tenuous link to procreation, were much greater, while on the other hand, Japanese men were by and large unwilling or unable to assume a proportianately greater role in childcare. After many years of steady decline, the total fertility rate has now sunk to an all-time low of 1.26 in 2005, and the decline continues. Women are still discriminated against in many sectors of employment, but the situation is improving. Of course, a graying society has drawbacks, but it is arguably, more healthy.
Whether or not American women decide to follow suit is, I guess, up to them.

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Are there any intelligent women reading this?
Posted by: hannah on Feb 27, 2007 3:43 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
So far, all I have read are comments from men who are stuck in the 50's, whether they are old enough to be or not. It's your mentalities, gentlemen, that makes more and more enlightened young couples want to move to Europe or Canada.

I am an administrative person, working with an office full of professional-level folks, to include men and women. Come meeting time, when lunches and coffee need to be provided, who are naturally "expected" to do this type of work? Come luncheon time for a coworker, who is "expected" to coordinate this type of non-work-related activity? Right you are! WOMEN! Very few men actually pitch in with these types of activities, and when they do, they expect huge kudos. This is the norm.

The good old boy mentality is in full swing in this country. Never has changed, never will.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» Yeah... never changed.... Posted by: JoshuaLudd
» You're not wrong ... Posted by: AdamSelene40
» You're not wrong ... Posted by: AdamSelene40
» Pitch in at your own danger Posted by: YogiBear
Every time I see an article like this...
Posted by: Logic's Edge on Feb 27, 2007 4:26 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I want to ask: why don't women then set up corporations of their own. All female. Since men are the source of all evil in your worldview, why don't you set up all-female businesses. Wouldn't you be in paradise?

What is stopping you???

Anyhow, since nothing less than having your cake and eating it both will satisfy you, I suggest this:

Throw the weight of your voices into research into human life extension. It's not as far away or implausible as you might initially think.

Then you can have your kids, raise them with full attention, and have an entire career as well, serially. Sounds good?

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Whinge, Whinge, Bitch and more Whingin !
Posted by: itchyvet on Feb 27, 2007 4:35 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
C'mon women, give it a break.
Haven't you heard, it's the 21 st Century, you've got everything you've ever demanded, and you're STILL not happy.
DUH ! maybe you've got just a little too much, too easily hey ?
Maybe you should emigrate to some African or Asian nation and try life from their perspective for a short while, just to see how well off you really are ?
Despite what you've been told, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL.
You can either have a happy, thriving family life with good interpersonal relationships, or non of the above and a good office/working relationship.
To have BOTH, is very rare indeed, and even then I suspect, there are still countless women who are still not satisfied.
Maybe people's expectations are just a little out of kilter here ?

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Make your cake and eat it too?
Posted by: edsmith on Feb 27, 2007 6:03 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
With women like Hillery and Condo Rice in power, who speak and act tough, as if they want to prove that even though they don't have balls they do indeed have balls, ya think things are gonna change? If more powerful women were like Maxine Waters and Nancy Pelosi maybe things will change. Untill then, look for the Rick Sanitoriums of the world to keep men in line with the 17th century.

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It Will Never Stop
Posted by: gellero on Feb 27, 2007 6:10 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Perhaps it will end when women stop demanding Alimony from men and stop demanding child support when they cohabit with boyfriends or get remarried.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» OR ..... Posted by: krystal
» RE: OR ..... Posted by: MartianBachelor
» REALLY????? Posted by: gellero
» RE: OR ..... Posted by: EagleMB
» RE: It Will Never Stop Posted by: nise52
» RE: It Will Never Stop Posted by: hms2004
» IT'S ABOUT PRO CHOICE Posted by: gellero
provider
Posted by: Annette on Feb 27, 2007 6:16 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Now that we have heard from the wife beater, the racist, the retired Republican, the child hater and all manner of women haters. Let the games begin.

THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WE WILL NEED TO IGNORE!

Oh and I forgot. There are also the women who hate feminists because they hate themselves because they are women. These are the most pathetic of all. We need our own "Angels in America" to speak to this huge problem.

Fantastic article, focussed and concise. Real.

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» RE: provider Posted by: cmaciain
» RE: provider Posted by: hms2004
» well said Posted by: MartianBachelor
» RE: provider Posted by: Jordon
» RE: provider *You go, Annette* Posted by: maribelle
» RE: provider *You go, Annette* Posted by: nazrafel
» AS ALWAYS Posted by: gellero
» RE: greetings sister Posted by: off-the-radar 2
"social safety net"
Posted by: veggiegrrrl on Feb 27, 2007 6:55 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
We all hope there will be a "social safety net" for US when we need it but we don't want to pay for someone else's "social safety net." I don't have kids, nobody is going to be taking care of me. Do I hope there is a social safety net when I'm 80? Of course I do! Do I bitch and moan about taxes going to subsidize others? Of course I do. Where is the win-win?

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» for MRS Posted by: veggiegrrrl
Article hits home but misses an important point
Posted by: johnecolby on Feb 27, 2007 7:16 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The article lays out a compelling case, one which some men on this forum do not want to hear.

I pose another question: should women wait for the government, which is mostly run by white males (or women who don't neccesarily share non-elite women's values), to solve this dilemma? In a way, the feminist revolution was both about relating differently to oneself (as a woman) and about self-empowerment. What ways can women faced with a society which squeezes them into roles and lives whose time has long past regain their power to change this from below instead of above? Waiting for the government or the larger society, whose interests and concerns are largely antithetical to women's, to adapt to more progressive concepts of women's rights to live as they choose, is going to be an endless wait.

Consider Lysistrata, an ancient Greek comedy by Aristophanes. The title character persuades the women of Athens and Sparta, which are at war, to refuse sexual contact with their husbands until the two cities make peace. It worked spectacularly.

Be aware of the choices you make which allow these conditions to continue and imagine what *you* can do to affect change.

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» You miss the point... Posted by: Aufklaerung_Baboon
It's about socialism, dummy!
Posted by: mandiwrite on Feb 27, 2007 7:20 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Is this about middle class women/American women/white women? No, it's the universal lot of women. I care for my aged parents. The woman next door works to care for her kids, doing both her day job and her night job of homework, washing, cooking etc. Down the road, in a very poor 'squatter' camp, the grannies are now caring for the kids, because, in a southern Africa afflicted by AIDS, the parents have died. And - here's the point - there is no (or rather, a very small) social security net. Heaven, to my mind, is Denmark. A country that set off down the route to socialist democracy a long time ago, in which it was realised that the state is there to provide safety for the young and the aged. A country in which men simply take it for granted that they, too, are parents and thus EQUALLY responsible for their offspring. You and I could have countries like that, too. WE JUST HAVE TO VOTE FOR IT! Capitalism is not the be-all and end-all, y'know. Socialism can be implemented in an adapted form that gives us a more caring, more equitable society. And it's good for all of us, not just women!

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» Sounds great but ------ Posted by: Lincoln fan
» RE: Sounds great but ------ Posted by: hms2004
What a crock!
Posted by: cindyH on Feb 27, 2007 7:23 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
In my experience, it's the MEN who are working the harder jobs, traveling for work, then getting home exhausted and then cooking, cleaning, and doing housework. Women have it made these days - they have men doing everything! Many of my girlfriends - even some WHO SIT AT HOME ALL DAY - expect the men to come home and handle the baby, cook etc while they go to the gym etc. because hey, THEY WERE WITH THE BABY ALL DAY! No mention that while they were with the baby, they were at the pool, out for coffee with their girlfriends, or shopping with their mothers.

And this is attitude is being brainwashed to the culture at large. Just look at most TV shows and movies today. It's the MEN who are cooking, doting on the baby, and working jobs while the women strut around live the slave masters.

This article might have been relevant 20 years ago, but today it's men who have the lousy deal.

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» RE: What a crock! Posted by: meprieb
» RE: What a crock! Posted by: CyberKat
» RE: What a crock! Posted by: mcubed
» RE: What a crock! -oops Posted by: mcubed
» RE: What a crock! Posted by: MartianBachelor
Stop buying "super mom" magazines...
Posted by: nise52 on Feb 27, 2007 7:31 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
As a mother/grandmother who worked all of my adult life, I can see (from experience) that there is no such thing as a working mom with a life! The whole time I was raising my daughter, and working a FT job, was a blur. My husband used the excuse "I have to work" to explain why he was gone for 10-12 hours/day. Our daughter got sick..I took off, not him. Why didn't he re-arrange his hours or get a different job so he could help more with our child? Because WOMEN are expected to do that in this country!

Women need to do 2 things...stop having babies if they would rather have a career (which I'm all for) and stop buying those crappy "you can work and be a super-mom" magazines. It can't be done, ladies....give it up!

Oh, and btw...the 1950's mentality of "stay at home" moms was an aberration...women worked BEFORE and AFTER the 1950's. Pull your head out of the sand, America!

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Don't Believe The Hype, Women Have All The Jobs
Posted by: hole11 on Feb 27, 2007 7:40 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
There are more women in the US than men. More men are behind bars than women. More men are in the military than women. So in the US the women have the most jobs. Go to a restaurant and look how many men work there. Go to a grocery store or department store other than Home Depot and look how many women work there compared to men. Go to a school and see how many women teachers are there compared to men. Go to a hospital and see how many women are employed compared to men. Same goes for any health care facility.

Men probably own the auto repair jobs, some doctors, lawyers, road work/repair and construction jobs.

The only men living in the 50's are retirees.

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» Wage Gap? Posted by: hole11
» RE: Wage Gap? Posted by: EagleMB
YOUR PLATE IS FULL AND YOUR CUP RUNNETH OVER
Posted by: VZEQICVA on Feb 27, 2007 7:51 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Women seem unable or unwilling to join forces.I don't mean support groups. Women refuse to go to bat for each other. You'll see it in these comments. Filled with critcism for each other.Having so much in common and unable to find the common good. Men do not humiliate each other. Their magazines are not dedicted to their shortcomings and collective guilt. They don't criticize each other.There's something to be learned from them. Thanks, ANNA

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» Have a beer Posted by: Donna_Darko
» Here's a solution... Posted by: Aufklaerung_Baboon
90% of the time, it's the woman who wants the baby.
Posted by: cindyH on Feb 27, 2007 7:55 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
How many men REALLY want a kid? How many REALLY want their wives to loose all interest in sex, develop huge hemorroids, and loose their attractive body? How many REALLY want to spend their weekends at depressing kid "events?"

Face it: it's women who want the kids, so it's women who get the honors of taking the lead.

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» Warped. Posted by: Bev
Going Back to Basics
Posted by: elderwoman.org on Feb 27, 2007 7:57 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Does anyone know how many women work outside the home purely out of choice? I know that many do. I also know that there are many who don't. They go out to work because there is no other way to feed their families.
The problem, as I see it, is that caring for children in one's own home is not regarded as 'work'. Ivan Illich referred to it -- and to many of the other things women do -- as 'shadow work'. In other words, work which does not show up in the GNP.
The only way that parents can have REAL choice is if we go right back to basics, scrap our ridiculous methods for defining what 'work' is and is not, and re-classify full-time parenting as full-time work.
To my mind, the best solution would be to implement a system of guaranteed minimum income. Without something like that, this issue will never go away and we shall still be droning on about it for years.

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» RE: Going Back to Basics Posted by: MartianBachelor
» RE: working by choice Posted by: AmyB
» RE: Going Back to Basics Posted by: look around-like what u see?
Eh
Posted by: spencerh on Feb 27, 2007 8:22 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Though most childfree people are in the workforce, Americans remain trapped in a time warp, convinced that the childfree should and will pick up the slack for their reproducing co-workers when they have to leave early or take time off. When will policy catch up?

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» RE: Eh Posted by: Shey
Single Mother in the Closet
Posted by: lynned2002 on Feb 27, 2007 8:22 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
A big part of the problem for single mothers is that they are still looked down upon as second class citizens and are somehow responsible for their plight and therefore deserve what they get. Being a low income single parent in this country is a nightmare. Being a middle income single parent is still a bad dream, and a lonely one at that.

We have to invest in our children in this country as part of the infrastructure that builds a strong and healthy society. This means education through college and subsidized, yes I said subsidized, quality day care.

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Help from Democrats? (LOL)
Posted by: Lincoln fan on Feb 27, 2007 8:43 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Now that the Democrats are running both houses of Congress, we finally have an opportunity to expose the Right's cynical appropriation of "family values" by creating real solutions to the care crisis and making them central to the Democratic agenda. The obstacles, of course, are formidable, given that government and businesses -- as well as many men -- have found it profitable and convenient for women to shoulder the burden of housework and caregiving.

I fear that it's a mistake to put yout hope in the Democrats. The corporatocracy runs both parties. Big business has no interest in paying taxes to support services that are in the public interest. That is the reason for the big push to privatize all public services.

I think that the answer is a grassroots movement with a new political strategy. Look into The Lincoln Initiative. It's a great project for any activist organization. Costs nothing but a little spare time.
Bob Reichenbach,
Director, The Lincoln Initiative.

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Great article
Posted by: Donna_Darko on Feb 27, 2007 9:11 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It covers a lot of terrain. Thank you, Ruth Rosen.

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Choose Wisely
Posted by: NoPCZone on Feb 27, 2007 9:51 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It may be anecdotal, but behind the story the stats will bear me out. Many women do no marry the kind of man that they say they desire, I would contend a significant number. Let me tell you why I say this.

I work in healthcare in a work environment probably 70%+ female and have for well over 20 years. We see students doing their clinical internships from local colleges and Universities in the various health professions all the way from Nurses to M.D.'s, so we are not talking about uneducated women. The pattern that I see repeating over and over and over again is women getting involved with/living with/marrying men that are the polar opposite of what they have time and time again said they want in a boyfriend/lover/mate/husband. The frequency and consistency is nothing short of amazing.

When you meet/are introduced to their latest or intended, afterward you always get the question: 'Well, what do you think?" and I usually bite my tongue. When you see them date a nice guy that is supportive, intelligent, well educated, etc., it invariably dies off. Item next, the guy who caused them to dump the nice guy is some bad boy, player, whatever type (you know what I mean) that is a Cro-Magnon with a degree in a suit. I need not detail what ends up happening.

I think most women's mental picture of what they want and what they viscerally want is very different. Chalk it up to whatever, but the girls that stick with the nice guys usually are happier and in a LTR while the others bounce from guy to guy, looking for Mr. Goodbar. After a season or two of this from any one person you begin to wonder if you should really say something when it comes up next. You want to be a friend, but not a buttinski.

Bottom Line, ladies:

If you want a supportive man that carries his share and supports you through thick and thin- marry one. More often than not, you are not going to change them. Lions do not become tigers, cheetahs, pumas or leopards and they sure do not become doves. If you date some guy who attracts you visually but treats you like trash, guess what you can expect in any commitment/LTR/marriage. There are a lot of duds out there and many are very good at hiding it for a season. Be careful and be happy.

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» RE: Choose Wisely Posted by: cindyH
» RE: Choose Wisely Posted by: hlautey
» RE: Choose Wisely Posted by: Sushi
» Kills me to admit it Posted by: Mewsician