This post originally appeared at Whiskey Fire. You don't say.
At a candidate forum here last week, Representative Baron P. Hill, a threatened Democratic incumbent in a largely conservative southern Indiana district, was endeavoring to explain his unpopular vote for the House cap-and-trade energy bill. It will create jobs in Indiana, reduce foreign oil imports and address global warming, Mr. Hill said at a debate with Todd Young, a novice Republican candidate who is supported by an array of Indiana Tea Party groups and is a climate change skeptic. “Climate change is real, and man is causing it,” Mr. Hill said, echoing most climate scientists. “That is indisputable. And we have to do something about it.”
Stone the blasphemer -- he said Jehovah.
A rain of boos showered Mr. Hill, including a hearty growl from Norman Dennison, a 50-year-old electrician and founder of the Corydon Tea Party. “It’s a flat-out lie,” Mr. Dennison said in an interview after the debate, adding that he had based his view on the preaching of Rush Limbaugh and the teaching of Scripture. “I read my Bible,” Mr. Dennison said. “He made this earth for us to utilize."
Fuck the Earth, the Lord saith, on the radio.
Skepticism and outright denial of global warming are among the articles of faith of the Tea Party movement, here in Indiana and across the country.
And the comedy punchline?
“This so-called climate science is just ridiculous,” said Kelly Khuri, founder of the Clark County Tea Party Patriots. “I think it’s all cyclical.” “Carbon regulation, cap and trade, it’s all just a money-control avenue,” Ms. Khuri added. “Some people say I’m extreme, but they said the John Birch Society was extreme, too.”
And the tragedy punchline?
Whatever the party composition of the next Congress, cap and trade is likely dead for the foreseeable future. If dozens of new Republican climate skeptics are swept into Congress, the prospects for assertive federal action to control global warming gases, including regulation by the Environmental Protection Agency, will grow dimmer than they already are.
Sigh. Perhaps the United States of America may even still yet come to a point where we have a political culture evolved enough to handle climate change. By that point however we will have also evolved sufficiently to possess gills. So it will all work out! God bless science. (Oh wait whoops can we still believe in evolution? Or is that still a Liberal plot? Let me know as I am working hard on the gill-evolving. This process involves pouring a lot of Jameson's down my neck. Seems to not be doing any harm, anyhow.) Below: The Übermenschen of Tomorrow... TODAY! thers
This is cross-posted from Whiskey Fire. From one of the Big Stupids:
You had to live through it to recognize the metamorphosis. During those early days of June 2004, as the nation mourned the passing of Ronald Reagan, you would have never known he had been ridiculed and treated with disdain for most of his political career—not only by Democrats but by establishment Republicans.
If it makes him feel any more grounded, I will say forthrightly that I still think Reagan deserves ridicule & disdain. But if it's a question of the Reagan Legacy it's the Sarah Palin stuff that impresses:
Even today, as her Facebook numbers rise and her influence is felt via endorsements for candidates running for both state offices and Congress, she is shunned by the establishment. The same type of people who considered Reagan a simpleton and a neanderthal have dubbed her “Caribou Barbie."
Because while the Reagan veneration has always been more than a little absurd, next to the Palin veneration, it makes some sort of sense. "She is popular on Facebook" is not exactly a triumph of statecraft, unless we're now electing Kardashians. Reagan , you know, didn't quit, and in his second term he would have had a decent excuse, being not compos mentis & all. Hell, it's at least as good an argument for Gipperly Gravitas as the Big Stupid guy's other one, namely, "you know who elsewas in a monkey movie? Cary fucking Grant, that's who!"
This was cross-posted from Whiskey Fire. It appears Chuck Norris has said something stupid on the Internet. What are the odds I axe you.
Last week, I discussed a series of evidences regarding how President Barack Obama is leading the White House pack in distancing his administration from the Boy Scouts of America.
To paraphrase C. T. Robot, gah, this is a sequel to something. I'd wondered why last week seemed so unusually placid and dumb-free and sunshine glad. Guess I should have hit the Chuck-a-Snooze one more damn time.... Oh well what the hell, we're already in gear and suited up, so away we go.
Last week, I discussed a series of evidences regarding how President Barack Obama is leading the White House pack in distancing his administration from the Boy Scouts of America.
"Evidences" only passed Chuck's spell check because he doesn't know you can only put the "s" there if "evidence" is a verb. Here is an amusing Chuck Norris Fact: that Chuck Norris knows karate doesn't mean he has a command of written English, and also, he has semi-literate editors. How comical. And who put that Cleavon Little-looking specimen in charge of "the White House pack" anyhow?
As I pointed out, the White House has delayed Eagle Scout certificate signings, denied the invitation to go to the Boy Scouts of America's 100th anniversary gala, downplayed Obama's acceptance of BSA's honorary presidency, dodged official communications about the BSA, not defended the BSA against cultural attacks, and diminished Obama's all-around role as BSA's honorary president.
Maybe he's busy. Or else, who fucking cares? Ah, but we lack that luxury. Now we're in The Shit, so we must backtrack, or perhaps more appropriately, flashback. ("Marines! We are leaving!" Explosions. Exeunt omnes, etc.) And we discover that Chuck's sport panties are pulling his gristly pubes inwards because of this class of inanity:
Over the past few months, a widely circulated e-mail has reported that
A widely who the what?
Categorically, Internet watchdog sites, such as snopes.com, have classified the claims as "hogwash."
Wacky.
A new entry on snopes.com defends that
Speak English or Die! Mucking forward:
To be frank, I think Obama's delay in signing Eagle Scout certificates has more to do with White House political correctness and establishing an arm's-length relationship with the BSA than it has to do with any simple "administrative delay," especially when lawsuits have been levied against the BSA because of its stand against atheists, agnostics and homosexuals.
OK, Frank. Levy the lawsuits and damn the homos, full bullshit ahead! I'm sort of lost here; the precise pettiness of the grievance is becoming impossible to locate in the overall Chuckenfuckery. Look, Obama likes the fucking Boy Scouts. I myself hate the fucking Boy Scouts, because someone has to be enough of an asshole to dislike asinine ideological paramilitary formations based on 19th century nationalist nonsense. Note also how I am not running for president. Also note how Chuck Norris is fucking weird:
Just as Pontius Pilate washed his hands of any buy-in to Jesus' execution, the White House continually is whitewashing its connection and responsibility to the BSA. And just as Pontius Pilate's actions prompted us to question what good came from his position, President Obama has caused us to wonder what good has come from his role as honorary president of BSA.
Perspective, Chuck. Perspective. Look it up. Honestly, it's a word in English. Google it.
Gosh. Andrew Breitbart is willing to pay $100K to find out if anyone called him an asshole in private. I'll call him an asshole in public for free. This is great:
No one will ever know who became $100,000 richer – and did the right thing, morally and ethically — by shining the light of truth on this seamy underworld of the media.
Wow, doing the right thing AND making a hundred thousand bucks paid by a highly partisan loosely principled loon. What a deal. I am particularly fond of the "if you break your word about being anonymous, I promise to respect your anonymity" Solemn Vow. Classical Literature is perhaps replete with examples of what happens to individuals who take deals like this, though, granted, Breitbart's more a sad sopping douche than an avenging fury, so what the hey. Would YOU accept $100K in exchange for someone fucking your profession, if you were, uh, Woody Harrelson, and Andrew Breitbart was Robert Redford, and an email list was your wife? Your fucking wife? (Stupid movie reference perhaps too labored. Suffice it to say, Breitbart's a dick.) If after a protracted investigation Ezra Klein (!) emerges as the Dr. Evil of the MSM, I for one will be very surprised. MASJay Nordlinger:
I think many of my conservative colleagues are far too gingerly when it comes to liberal media bias. Far too timid, delicate, and forgiving. For a long time, complaining about media bias has been seen as uncouth. It’s something we all need to learn to live with, like death, taxes, and mosquitoes. Don’t be uncool by bitching about it, man.
Conservatives are OVERLY SHY about bitching about Liberal Media Bias? Because they are afraid of being called nerds? This is the most demented thing anyone has ever written at the Corner. No, honestly.
This post originally appeared on Whiskey Fire. As long as we're on the topic of right-wing intellectualism, hello to you, sir, Tony Lee, please explain to us why Sarah Palin is Ever So Smart.
I hadn't seen Sarah Palin speak in person since the 2008 elections. If one just watched or read mainstream media accounts of her paid speeches and appearances since then, including some accounts that have been featured on this site, one may have come to the conclusion that Palin was just a money-hungry ex-politician devoid of conviction, half-heartedly speaking to various interest groups and causes to line her pockets or raise her national profile to peddle books that she didn't even write herself.
Sir! I protest! I firmly believe Sarah Palin is quite vigorously and energetically and sparkily speaking to various interest groups and causes in order to line her pockets. There is nothing half-hearted about it; she fakes sincerity so sincerely, it just might well be, and might as well be, actual sincerity. And I have no doubts whatsoever that she possesses "convictions." She's so full of "convictions," her eyeballs squeak. Though, to be fair, if I were Tony Lee, I'd my own self far prefer to debate her sincerity than her intellect.
Curious about how such memes can develop among supposedly intelligent commentators (most of whom are on the left, but the right has its fair share too), I went to Palin's speech in Washington, D.C. on Friday, where she spoke at a breakfast hosted by The Susan B. Anthony List, an extremely influential pro-life organization.
"Memes"? What's fantastic here is not that Lee doesn't seem to be bothering with the "is she fit to govern" business, but with the "can she be elected" question; that's banal pundit crap. What's fun is how he doesn't even come close to acknowledging this as an issue.
Nowhere did I see a caricature of a bumbling dolt just going through the motions. What I did hear was substance. Warmth. Humor. Unapologetic feistiness. And an optimistic belief in conservative values and principles. And what I saw was the makings of a potentially transcendent and transformational figure not only for the conservative movement but for American politics.
OK. "Substance." Let's look for that.
1. Palin as the "Mama Bear" defending America's children from "generational theft."
As Barack Obama and Democrats spend more money, as the country goes more into debt, as the specter of inflation gets near, it goes without saying that voters will care more about the deficit and fiscal responsibility, and they will demand politicians do something about it. Americans often tell pollsters they worry that their children will be the first generation of children who won't do better than their parents, and they often cite America's crippling debt as one of the primary reasons for their pessimism. If Palin can convince voters - old and young - that she is indeed the proverbial "mama bear" fighting to restore an America where parents leave behind for their children an America that is in better shape than the one they inherited from their parents, it would resonate powerfully.
Calling yourself a "bear" is an economic program in the same sense as calling yourself a "giraffe" is a Mars exploration program. "Roaring" like a bear will create a lower unemployment rate precisely as effectively as stretching your neck like a giraffe will enable you to escape Earth's gravity. I also have my doubts that pretending to be a bear makes political sense. The 4-Year-Old told me this afternoon that he is a "space robot," but that hardly qualifies him to run NASA. Until the Palin Administration is in charge, anyhow.
2. Palin as a "frontier feminist." The frontier has always been a powerful symbol in American politics. But Palin personifies this theme in way unlike any other previous politician. As she alluded to in her speech, women on the frontier have always been ahead of the curve; Palin made reference to how frontier women fought for suffrage before it became popular among the more educated classes on the east coast.
This is an absolute load of shit. And as an upstate New Yorker, I'm irate. Irate! How much history do you have to not know before you get to say something as appallingly stone dumb as this? And more!
If anyone had any doubts which side of the city/exurbia debate Palin was on, it is worth nothing that in the same week in which Barack Obama's nomination of Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court may have been a symbol of Obama as the ultimate urban, city dweller, Palin firmly planted her flag in small towns and exurbia when she urged an Illinois high school girl's basketball team to "play ball" in reference to the school's boycott of Arizona over Arizona's recently passed illegal immigration laws.
Insofar as providing a devastating rebuttal to the idea that Sarah Palin is not hardly a Woman of Substance, but just a cunning dingaling battening on trivial culture war bullshit, this, uh, sucks ass. Sorry -- that could have been more witty. Here: this sucks total ass. That's better. Also, if you think there exists a "city/exurbia debate," please, start collecting Pokemon cards, or something else less absurd for a grownup to be doing in public. Or at least keep quiet about it, for God's sake.
Yet for conservatives, it's Palin's style that earns her "street cred" and makes her beloved.
Floogh! Schlurg! I mean, GAH! As soon as you put quotation marks around "street cred," OY! This isn't even political. May Gustave Flaubert have a ghost, and may he be adept at ectoplasmic spitballs.
1. She can testify.
That will come in handy, because sure as shit, she's getting a subpoena.
Just as Obama spoke the language of Black and urban America in churches and on the stump, Palin speaks the language of social conservatives. Her personal experiences, especially the birth of her son Trig, and those of her daughter, Bristol (in a lighthearted moment, Palin told the audience that Bristol advocates abstinence by telling teenagers they should hit "pause before play"), make her testimony about being "pro-life" more powerful and moving.
She sure is an excellent authority on how you can keep your teenagers from fucking.
2. She attacks Obama.
How innovative!
3. She relishes attacking liberals.
It's the shock of the new!
4. And she's optimistic.

Most importantly, though, Palin hardly seems like someone who is on the verge of post-partem depression.
I'm beginning to think Tony Lee might just be kind of a twit. There is a frightening lack of, well, anything remotely connected with reality, never mind policy, let alone spelling, in any of this shit. Fortunately for Conservative Thought, the Main Stream Media still lurves you. They're the Little Red Headed Girl to your Charlie Brown, except, you know, fuck you. MAS. The only reason this particular idiot has a job at the Atlantic is he is an interpreter of wingnut folkways. Why the Atlantic is paying for shit they could get for the price of a fucking Memeorandum subscription escapes me. THIS EXPLAINS IT.