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Talking to Men Who Are Clinic Escorts

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Written by Chanel Dubofsky forRH Reality Check. This diary is cross-posted; commenters wishing to engage directly with the author should do so at the original post.

Recently, I was having a conversation with some other reproductive justice-inclined folks about cisgender men who are clinic escorts. Escorting, regardless of your gender, can be taxing. (It can also be powerful, rewarding, and beautiful.) You wake up early and stand outside an abortion clinic for hours. You may have to answer questions from people who are just walking by and want to know what's happening, without knowing whether or not they're going to be sympathetic. Anti-choice protestors will try to make your job harder via verbal or physical harassment.

For the most part, it is women who take on the job of escorting at clinics, but on occasion there are men. Generally speaking, in the abortion conversation, men are either providers, the partners of those getting abortions, or protestors. "I am constantly having to stop myself," said MB, a female clinic escort, "from asking both the dude protestors and the dude escorts, what does this mean to you? Why are you here?"

I decided to track down some men who are clinic escorts to get answers to these questions. And I read their answers with this quote from Natalie, a clinic escort in Los Angeles, in mind: "Some cis male clinic escorts are great, and it's an honor to volunteer with them. I think cis men who choose to get involved with clinic escorting have a responsibility to be conscious of what they bring to the dynamic. They have the power to present a male-inclusive feminism to patients, protesters, and passers-by, or to perpetuate the status quo."

P is a 25-year-old data scientist who lives in Boston. He has escorted at a private clinic in Philadelphia and at a Planned Parenthood office in Boston.

RH Reality Check:Why did you decide to start escorting?

P:My girlfriend and I met in college. She had been a clinic escort with her mom before college and was continuing that before we started dating. She told stories about these crazy people who would protest, so after we started dating I was feeling like there was this remote possibility that something bad would happen to her while she was escorting, and if it did then I would feel terrible. So I started going along with her. It's worth noting that she had been escorting by herself for a long time, so it wasn't like I thought anything would happen. But I was appalled at the thought of not being there if something did happen. I also am pro-choice, but as in this paragraph, that was a bit of an afterthought.

RHRC:How do you think your identity as a cis man has affected your experience as an escort?

P:I think there was some extra special vitriol from anti-abortion protestors in some cases. One time I was volunteering in Philadelphia and there was this old white dude who was protesting, and he came up to me and started telling me how unmanly I was in various ways. The most memorable part was that he called me a "sissy bitch." The clinic has a non-engagement policy for the volunteers, so I didn't respond to him.

RHRC:What's been the best part of escorting for you?

P:Like any kind of volunteering, it always feels good to have people express their gratitude. This wasn't usually from patients so much, because they were usually pretty stressed out, but passers-by would sometimes say "Thanks for being here" or give thumbs up or whatever. That's always nice.

 

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