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Fundamentalist Christian Monsters: Papa's Got A Brand New Bag


Ladies and Gentlemen, let me tell you of monsters and monstrous wrongs. And let me tell you what these bloody monsters thrive on.

I founded the civil rights fighting organization, the Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF), to do one thing; fight those monsters who would tear down the Constitutionally-mandated wall separating church and state in the technologically most lethal entity ever created by humankind, the U.S. military.

Today, we face incredibly well-funded gangs of fundamentalist Christian monsters who terrorize their fellow Americans by forcing their weaponized and twisted version of Christianity upon their helpless subordinates in our nation's armed forces. Oh my, my, my, how "Papa's got a brand new bag." 

What's Papa's new tactic? You're gonna just love this! These days, when ANYone attempts to bravely stand up against virulent religious oppression, these monstrosities cry out alligator tears in overflowing torrents and scream that it is, in fact, THEY who are the dispossessed, bereft and oppressed. C'mon, really, you pitiable unconstitutional carpetbaggers? It would be like the utter folly of 1960's-era southern bigots howling like stuck pigs in protest that Rosa Parks’ civil rights activism is "abusing" them by destroying and disenfranchising their rights to sit in the front seat of buses in Montgomery, Alabama. Please, I beseech you!  Let us call these ignoble actions what they are: the senseless and cowardly squallings of human monsters.

Queasy with the bright and promising lights of the cultural realities of the present day, those evil, fundamentalist Christian talibanic creatures and their spiritual heirs have taken refuge behind flimsy, well-worn, gauze-like euphemistic facades such as “family values” and “religious liberty.” These overtly bigoted bandits coagulate their stenchful substances in organizations such as the American Family Association (AFA), the ultra-fundamentalist Family Research Council (FRC), and the Chaplains Alliance for Religious Liberty (CARL). The basis of their ruinous unity is the bane of human existence and progress: horrific hatred and blinding bigotry. However, when the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) and others correctly characterize them as “hate groups,” they all too predictably raise a deafening hue and disingenuously bellow mournfully like the world class cowards they are. 

Case in point: long-time MRFF foe and fact-challenged Fox News Radio reporter Todd Starnes’ brimstone-tinged, apocalyptic reaction to a simple restatement of Constitutional principles and foundational military professionalism by Lt. Col. Jack Rich of Fort Campbell, Kentucky. 

In an email obtained by that "Fair and Balanced" network, U.S. Army Lt. Col. Rich lays out domestic “hate groups,” using a list from the SPLC that categorizes these groups by ideology. Among the named groups are FRC (or as I refer to them, the "Freedom Restriction Conspiracy") and AFA (referred to by me as the "Anti-Freedom Association"), who are given place alongside Fred “God Hates Fags” Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church, infamous for its repugnant “Thank God for IEDs” protests outside of armed forces servicemember funerals.

Illustrating the extremist, militant nature of these virulently homophobic organizations’ rhetorically-charged propaganda, the SPLC list notes that “In the words of Focus on the Family founder James Dobson; the battle against gay rights is essentially a ‘second civil war’ to put control of the U.S. government in the right hands, meaning those who reject gay rights.”

The SPLC dossier quoted in Lt. Col. Rich’s letter continues, explaining “The religious right in America has employed a variety of strategies in its efforts to beat back the increasingly confident gay rights movement. One of those has been defamation. Many of its leaders have engaged in the crudest type of name-calling, describing LGBT people as ‘perverts with ‘filthy habits’ who seek to snatch the children of straight parents and ‘convert’ them to gay sex. They have disseminated disparaging ‘facts’ about gays that are simply untrue assertions that are remarkably reminiscent of the way white intellectuals and scientists once wrote about the ‘bestial’ black man and his supposedly threatening sexuality.”