katiehalper
Log in to comment or register to create your own blog

The sun and its rays are a clear reference to the swastika. There are five rays, not four, but remember, we've heard that Obama was a terrible student and was, I'm sure, terrible at math and couldn't count.
Sliced cake? More like a call for redistributing food and wealth, the abolition of private property, and Socialist revolution.
Mike Huckabee Refuses to Accept that Natalie Portman isn't Single:Despite the fact that Natalie Portman's engagement to Benjamin Millepied became public last year, a delusional Mike Huckabee insists the actress is single.Huckabee's state of denial suggests he is in the first stage of the grieving process and must still experience anger, bargaining and depression before he is able to accept Portman's emotional and logistical unavailability.
John Galliano Forgets He's Gay: The British gay designer expresses his undoubtedly unrequited love for Hitler, shocking the world and friends who saw Galliano as "such a nice, normal and down to earth guy. A mensch, really."

Jew Win Some, Jew Lose Some: While Jews may have been dissed by the fashion designer, we got props from the Pope who, shared the breaking news that Jews are not, contrary to popular belief, responsible for the death of Jesus.
Dapper WI State Senator Calls Protestors "A Bunch of Slobs": WI State Senator Glenn Grothman Calls Protestors "A Bunch of Slobs" who are turning the capital building into a smelly "pig sty." In all fairness, the dapper Senator is notorious for his grooming habits and exude an undeniably intoxicating fragrance. Speaking of grooming, Is that a mole or a black head on the left side of his nose? Either way, it should be checked out. And since he is on government-run health care, which he opposes it for other people, that should be easy.
Arab Leaders' Use of Fake Hair Dye Linked to political Instability,Study Shows: As Qadaffi becomes the third Arab leader to discover, the hard way, just how unpopular his over-the-toply fake black hair dye is among Libyans, political scientists suggest a plausibility of leader's hair color-stability of leader's regime correlation.
- The Anti-Pap-Test Amendment: Planned Parenthood provides nearly one million Pap tests each year.
- The Pro-HPV Bill: Pap tests screen for HPV (Human papillomavirus), a disease which at least 50%of sexually active men and women get at some point in their lives. Approximately 20 million Americans currently have HPV and another 6 million people become newly infected each year. But this amendment means that even more people would contract the virus and the genital warts it causes!
- The Pro Life, Pro-Cervical Cancer Bill: Pap tests also screen for, help prevent and lower rates of cervical cancer, which, though highly preventable and treatable, is one of the top 5 killers of women.
- The Anti-Mammogram Bill: Planned Parenthood also provides 830,000 breast exams and mammograms each year.
- The Pro-Life, Pro Breast Cancer Bill: These exams screen for breast cancer, which approximately 200,000 women will be diagnosed with and 40,000 women will die from this year. But if this bill passes, we will be able to get those numbers up even higher! As fewer women have access to these life and breast-saving exams, more women will lose their breasts and lives to cancer!
- The Pro-HIV Amendment: Planned Parenthood provides nearly four million tests and treatments for sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. If the Pro-STD Amendment passes, imagine how many more people will not only have untreated STDs, but will unknowingly spread them to other people! With HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes and more, the possibilities are infinite!
- The Pro-Unplanned Pregnancy Bill: Planned Parenthood services help prevent more than 612,000 unintended pregnancies each year. But if the Pro-Unwanted Pregnancy Bill passes, there could be 612,000 more unplanned or unwanted pregnancies and countless more women without access to contraceptives, resources and education
- The Anti-Fertility Bill: Just as Planned Parenthood helps women avoid unplanned pregnancies, it helps those who want to be pregnant get pregnant with male and female infertility tests, resources and information. But if the Anti-Fertility Bill passes, who knows how many hopeful would-be parents will be hopeless and child-less!
- The anti-general Healthcare Bill: Planned Parenthood also provides general health care, such as anemia testing, cholesterol screening, diabetes screening, physical exams, flu vaccines, help with quitting smoking, high blood pressure screening, tetanus vaccines, and thyroid screening. This Amendment would increase rates of disease and even death for countless women! In all fairness, at least the Republicans are consistent in their anti-health care stance.
- The pro-UTI Bill: Planned Parenthood tests and treats UTIs or Urinary Tract Infections, which 1 of 5 women have at least once, and consist of burning pain during urination, an urge to urinate when your bladder is nearly empty, feeling like you need to urinate all the time, difficulty controlling when you urinate, lower abdominal pain or back pain, and blood and/or pus in your urine! This amendment would mean more pain and more pus! What could be better?
- What's in a name? A lot of Jewishness! Your name Sarah, and your abstinent (almost) only daughter's baby daddy is named Levi. Whoah! How Jewy is that? And I suspect that said daughter is named Bristol because it is a derivation of the word bissel (little) because when she was born she was little. The Jewish Chronicle even "reckon[s]" that your husband is Jewish (though their use of the word reckon puts their own Jewishness into question).
- You keep Israel close to your heart... or at least your chest where you place your Israel lapel pin.
- You have an Israel flag in your office. You once told Israel's president Shimon Peres "The only flag at my office is an Israeli flag...and I want you to know and I want Israelis to know that I am a friend." Well it turns out Israel is one of three flags but who's counting? And it's smaller but that's so it stands out from the bigger framed flags.
- There's a site called Jews for Sarah so that means that there are definitely Jews who are for you. They do have "coming soon" under the "reasons they support you," under your "family values", and under "fiscal responsibility", but I'm sure they're sifting through all their reasons and there are so many and that's why it's taking so long.
- You're mishbuka. you have such a mystical connection to Jews, you called Israeli President Simon Peres, whom you had never met, "my old friend." Such a connection. It's kismit.
- You see Jewish people from your window (there have to be some left in Russia).
- You keep kosher or at least really like to nosh on moose, which is kosher, I'm pretty sure.
- You're a huge fan of probably the most famous Jew in all of history.
- Major FOTJ (Friend of the Jews) Pat "too many Jews on the Supreme Court" Buchanan thinks what you said is more than kosher, it's excellent: "Frankly I thought it was an excellent statement with regard to the phrase 'blood libel'.... That of course refers to the libel that was used in the Middle Ages, charges against Jews that were utterly unsupportable slanders and I think she's using it in that context." Fingers crossed, other FOTJs, like David Duke and Prussian Blue will defend you also. Then the matter will be settled.
- You're such a Jew, I even designed a cover for your next book, Going Rugelach: A Jewish American Life.
- Issa knows crime from the inside: Issa was accused of stealing a car in 1971 and indicted for stealing another one in 1972. (In all fairness, Issa's airtight alibi is his statement "I don't steal" and his claim that his brother did it.)
- Issa is an expert at going after crimes that don't exist: With two car thefts under his belt, Issa was prosecuted in 1980 for auto-auto theft-- faking the theft of his own Mercedes and selling it to a car dealer. Just as Issa claimed that his car was robbed, even though it wasn't, he now claims that Obama's administration is one of the most corrupt administrations even thought it isn't.
- Issa packs heat: Issa was arrested twice on illegal weapons charges and was convicted of a gun possession misdemeanor in the 1970s. (Cops pulled him over after he drove the wrong way down a one-way street and found a .25-caliber semiautomatic pistol with seven bullets in its ammunition clip, as well as 44 bullets and a tear-gas gun.) In the 1980's, Issa took over a security company whose manager he fired with the aid of a gun. Issa claims "Shots were never fired. . . . I don't recall [having a gun]. I really don't. I don't think I ever pulled a gun on anyone in my life." Here, Issa seems to pose the age-old philosophical question, if a gun is brandished and no shots are fired, is there really a gun? And in all fairness, who can keep track of whether or not they've pulled a gun on anyone in their life. I, personally, don't think I ever pulled a gun on anyone in my life, but you can never be sure, am I right, people? Anyway, you can't call Issa a hypocrite because he opposes gun control.
- Issa will burn Obama-- literally: Like the well rounded criminal so many aspire to be, the multifaceted Issa is proficient with cars, firearms and fire. Eight months after Issa took over the security company, a fire broke out, which state authorities deemed "suspicious in nature," and which arson investigators determined was "not an accidental fire." Issa had, coincidentally, I'm sure, just quadrupled the building insurance from about $100,000 to $460,000 and had taken a key computer from the building a few days before the accident. Also, flammable liquid seemed to have been poured on the only area without sprinklers.
- Issa's voice will stop a criminal in its tracks: Inspired by the auto-theft Issa modestly attributed to his brother, Issa became passionate about car alarms, invented the viper car alarm in which his recorded voice warns fellow car thieves to "step away from the car." It must be Issa's familiarity with auto theft that makes him so able to talk to car thieves. Now Issa is using his voice to tell Obama to "step away from the White House."
- Issa puts his money where his mouth is. And he's a millionaire so that's a lot of money: The richest member of the house, with a net worth of $300 million, Issa spent $1.7 million of his own money to bankroll the successful recall California Governor Gray Davis. In the bipartisan spirit exemplified by Mitch McConnel, Issa vowed to make the time Gray "has left in office the most miserable that I can." After it became clear that Arnold Schwarzenneger was the party favorite andssa "tearfully"stepped aside.
- Issa means Business. Big business: Issa is committed to giving voice to the voiceless and defending the interests of big business. Asking for feedback on which regulations to go after as incoming chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, Issa wroteto 150 trade associations, companies and think tanks including Duke Energy, the Association of American Railroads, FMC Corp., Toyota and Bayer, the American Petroleum Institute, National Association of Manufacturers (NAM), the National Petrochemical & Refiners Association (NPRA) and health care and telecommunication companies, which are some of Issa's biggest backers! (see the letter here.)
- Issa's not afraid to tell it like it is: He's compelled to probe until he finds the truth as he demonstrated in 2008: "I have to ask ... why the firefighters who went there and everybody in the city of New York needs to come to the federal government for the dollars versus this being primarily a state consideration." Issa can't see the big deal in 9/11, which the putative arson sees as just another "fire,%u201D %u201Can aircraft... that had no dirty bomb in it, it had no
chemical munitions in it." - Issa's Twitter Avatar Screams Law & Order: To quote Salt N' Peppa, If Twitter Avatar "could kill [it] would be an uzi... A shot gun,bang!What'supwith that thang?" Really, what's up with that @darrellissaavatar? It's Issa, of course, policing Washington DC and cracking down on what he calls "one of the most corrupt administrations." And don't be fooled by the crossed arms. Far from symbolizing resignation and paralysis, this gesture communicates Issa's acceptance of his duties. His stick figure seems to undermine his authority and the seriousness with which he oversees Obama. This formal choice, however, allows Issa to mock the government workers, such as police, who constitute the welfare state that makes Obama so "corrupting." Thusly does Issa communicate his nuanced ambivalence and conflicting allegiances.
- Issa's Twitter background says Law & Order and Naked and Lanky: Issa wants to make sure you're getting the message, so, in case you miss the subliminal one in his twitter avatar, his twitter background image-- in which we see a naked, equally cross-armed figure wearing a police officer hat%u2014says it clearly. This figure looks askance, suggesting Issa's omniscience and omnipresence. The long legs represent the agility and the lengths to which Issa will go in pursuit of the most corrupt president ever. And the nakedness represents how natural authority feels to Issa.

- Is it offensive to give people a gift on a holiday they traditionally and historically don't celebrate? Or is it worse to give everyone in your office Christmas presents except for the Jews?
- These Jews are really into reading and analysis and they're kinda neurotic and think that everyone is out to get them so if I give them a present celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ are they going to deconstruct that as an accusation of murdering Jesus Christ?
- If I give my Jewish friend a gift and he doesn't give me one am I, consciously or subconsciously, latently or blatently, perpetuating the cheap parasitic outsider Jew stereotype?
- If Jews don't get a present, do they not... kvetch?

Meg Whitman predicted nobody was going to care about her former housekeeper Niki Diaz on November 3rd. It looks like she was projecting, in more ways than one.
Meg Whitman covers Regina Spektor's hit "Fidelity" ("It Breaks my Heart") as she describes why the undocumented housekeeper with three kids should be deported. Make sure to check out her prediction at the end. Really classy. If you like politics, music, hipstery angst and/ or cleavage, you'll love this video.
Rand Paul isn't too upset about his volunteer stomping on a 23-year-old woman already restrained on the ground. For Rand is too busy speaking truth to power on behalf of the voiceless, like BP and middle-aged men who stomp on women's heads. If not Rand, then who? If not now, then when? If you prick BP, does it not bleed? Or gush (millions and millions of barrels of petroleum)?
It is so touching to see Randy (can I call you Randy, Randy? It's also my pet name for Ayn Rand, who hated it when I called her Ayny) put his neck (no pun intended) out for the little guy against the man, Obama, who is so unAmerican he guilt trips BP, as if BP didn't already feel bad enough! Tony Hayward is STILL waiting for his life back. Rand, in his limitless empathy for which Libertarians are famous, anthropomorphizes the fourth largest company in the entire world, chastising Obama for putting his boot on the neck of BP. Yet Randy has decided to keep the money donated to him by Tim Proffit, his volunteer coordinator and donor who literally put his foot on the head of a real person. It is because Rand needs the money for his Senate campaign to fight against giving the government any money that he must do this, of course. It pains him so, though he does a wonderful job of keeping a stiff upper lip.
Rand hates guilt-tripping people like Tony Hayward, and men who stomp on women's heads and then demand apologies from the stompee, and racist private business owners who already have to deal with the shame and unpopularity that accompanies being a racist. This is why Rand "has some questions" about the ADA and wants to get rid of OSHA and the EPA, who, like cruel unAmerican Obama, play the blame game instead of realizing "accidents happen."






