COMMENTS: 18
Are There Any Real Benefits to 'Friends with Benefits'?
September 18, 2008 |
LIKE THIS ARTICLE ?
Join our mailing list:
Sign up to stay up to date on the latest Sex & Relationships headlines via email.
Advertisement
When Friend Is a Four Letter Word
Ironically, booty-call buddies devalue the closeness of camaraderie while raising the stakes on romance. The cornerstone of friendship is open communication, and becoming a friend with benefits actually shuts down those open lines. Let's face it, if the only thing you're doing together is having sex, it isn't the same thing as sharing who you are. According to "Friends With Benefits, And Stress Too," casual sex actually adds anxiety to a budding connection. Sometimes, an FWB is really a way of avoiding a real relationship. I know I retreated to friends with benefits status before I even had a chance to get rejected in the boyfriend battle. Over-analyzing every little detail of a relationship under the guise of girl talk is bad, but acting like you don't care about having a relationship at all isn't much better.
Whatever Happened to Wining and Dining?
These days, dating has gotten as casual as sex. We've replaced courtship with text messaging and online social networking. Consequently, our relationships are as disposable as our technology. With an FWB, there's not much wooing or chasing. And romance? Forget about it. Wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am isn't a relationship. A relationship is honest-to-goodness, face-to-face commitment. Isn't the slow seduction part the most exciting part of a relationship? Friends with benefits jump to conclusions -- the conclusion of the possibility of a real relationship, in most cases. One-night-stands are one thing, but if you're a repeat FWB offender, let's call a spade a spade. You're dating, but by any relationship standards, those are pretty superficial relationships you're having.
Riding the Highs and Lows
Being addicted to FWBs isn't just socially confusing. Mother Nature's messing with your head, too. Biologically speaking, sex is a drug. Or at least it feels that way for women, thanks to oxytocin, the hormonal transmitter that makes you feel happy, relaxed, and bonded to your partner after sex. In an FWB, your mind may be telling you no about a guy, but your body may be telling you yes. It's confusing. Men don't get this bonding hormone in the same dosage, or, in some cases, at all. Oftentimes, as much as we women tell ourselves we're not attached to these dudes we do, the fact of the matter is that it's not something we can totally control. Part of how you feel about him is a side effect of sex. If you're not careful, casual sex can actually cause depression.
Why do we keep falling into the friends with benefits trap? Ten-percent of the time, an FWB turns into more, but in the meantime all we're getting is less. Why do we settle for coach when we could go first-class?
LIKED THIS ARTICLE? JOIN OUR EMAIL LIST
Stay up to date with the latest Sex & Relationships headlines via email
Stay up to date with the latest Sex & Relationships headlines via email
COMMENTS ( 18 )
READ COMMENTS
LOGIN OR
REGISTER TO POST A COMMENT
Alternet Comments:
» Having done it too
Posted by: Cruella
» RE: Geez, I didn't know any such thing existed . . .
Posted by: Spot
» RE: Uhh, yeah, okay.
Posted by: sureshot45
» RE: There is no cut-and-dried answer to the FWB situation
Posted by: SolarSiStar
» RE: Why does this author feel the need to tell society what they should or shouldn't do?
Posted by: SolarSiStar
» RE: Unexamined Assumptions
Posted by: freelyb
» RE: Women are becoming like men and vice versa... WTF?!
Posted by: DaBear
Comments are closed-
Having done it
Posted by: EinMD on Sep 18, 2008 5:01 PM
Current rating: Not yet rated [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Posted by: EinMD on Sep 18, 2008 5:01 PM
Current rating: Not yet rated [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I'd say no. I can't say it can't possibly work but I know it didn't work for me and now the friendship I had with the girl is strained because of it. The sex was good, but I don't think it was worth the aftermath.
[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]
» Having done it too
Posted by: Cruella
Comments are closed-
Geez, I didn't know any such thing existed . . .
Posted by: eaanders on Sep 18, 2008 5:13 PM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Posted by: eaanders on Sep 18, 2008 5:13 PM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
. . . How do I get mine?
[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]
» RE: Geez, I didn't know any such thing existed . . .
Posted by: Spot
Comments are closed-
Uhh, yeah, okay.
Posted by: Uriahz on Sep 19, 2008 12:00 AM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Posted by: Uriahz on Sep 19, 2008 12:00 AM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I think I might be missing the cultural and political relevance to this essay.
Friends With Benefits, as a form of relationship, fails to meet specific needs for a meaningful connection with another human being while encouraging the sort of complacency about dating that allows you to get into a vicious cycle of not putting in the effort to find someone you really like on multiple levels.
I'm sorry, but so what? See other people. That's what the FWB is for-- you have someone you get along with but don't see a future with, so you just make a non-relationship out of it, which allows you the emotional and sexual freedom to play the field as you like, or focus on other things besides your love life. It's not like the existence or prevalence of FWB precludes or diminishes the attraction of a serious relationship for anyone. It's just a lot more honest-- there's no sense seriously dating someone you only kind of like, but that's no reason not to have sex with them on a regular basis, and the FWB eliminates the illusion of a future, the questioning and analysis and inflated importance of everything. It is the natural result of sexual freedom-- sex with someone who knows what you like and no hassles, easier, safer and more pleasurable than a random hookup.
No, it's not a serious relationship. I'm sorry it's not so cut and dried as back in the day when you were probably going to get married or you weren't having sex in the first place, inasmuch as it was a little easier to negotiate the cut-and-dried rules of the day than this morass of endless options and potential lifestyles, but I'm afraid that's simply the price you pay for freedom.
I'll take freedom, thanks. And as much as I think it would be nice to be in love again, there's no denying it's nice to have someone to fuck bareback without worrying about STDs. It is both convenient and comfortable, and I like it very much. And when I'm just blown away by some new girl, some brilliant woman that I just totally click with, I won't be wracked with guilt and shame and indecision, because I won't be committed to someone I'm not in love with, who I will never be in love with.
Friends With Benefits, as a form of relationship, fails to meet specific needs for a meaningful connection with another human being while encouraging the sort of complacency about dating that allows you to get into a vicious cycle of not putting in the effort to find someone you really like on multiple levels.
I'm sorry, but so what? See other people. That's what the FWB is for-- you have someone you get along with but don't see a future with, so you just make a non-relationship out of it, which allows you the emotional and sexual freedom to play the field as you like, or focus on other things besides your love life. It's not like the existence or prevalence of FWB precludes or diminishes the attraction of a serious relationship for anyone. It's just a lot more honest-- there's no sense seriously dating someone you only kind of like, but that's no reason not to have sex with them on a regular basis, and the FWB eliminates the illusion of a future, the questioning and analysis and inflated importance of everything. It is the natural result of sexual freedom-- sex with someone who knows what you like and no hassles, easier, safer and more pleasurable than a random hookup.
No, it's not a serious relationship. I'm sorry it's not so cut and dried as back in the day when you were probably going to get married or you weren't having sex in the first place, inasmuch as it was a little easier to negotiate the cut-and-dried rules of the day than this morass of endless options and potential lifestyles, but I'm afraid that's simply the price you pay for freedom.
I'll take freedom, thanks. And as much as I think it would be nice to be in love again, there's no denying it's nice to have someone to fuck bareback without worrying about STDs. It is both convenient and comfortable, and I like it very much. And when I'm just blown away by some new girl, some brilliant woman that I just totally click with, I won't be wracked with guilt and shame and indecision, because I won't be committed to someone I'm not in love with, who I will never be in love with.
[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]
» RE: Uhh, yeah, okay.
Posted by: sureshot45
Comments are closed-
There is no cut-and-dried answer to the FWB situation
Posted by: odie-wan on Sep 19, 2008 2:13 AM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Posted by: odie-wan on Sep 19, 2008 2:13 AM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I've had a number of FWBs over the years and each experience has been different.
Right now I have two FWBs. With one, the sex has strengthened our friendship and we tell each other pretty much anything and everything. We have no romantic feelings for each other but there is mutual respect and a deep affection. As for the other, our relationship is solely about the sex, even though when he is with me we usually have great conversations too.
I respect that the FWB arrangement might not work for you (and for many others) but it can work for some people. As with all relationships, you need to know what you want (and be able to ask for it) and give your partner/friend/FWB the respect and consideration he/she is due.
Right now I have two FWBs. With one, the sex has strengthened our friendship and we tell each other pretty much anything and everything. We have no romantic feelings for each other but there is mutual respect and a deep affection. As for the other, our relationship is solely about the sex, even though when he is with me we usually have great conversations too.
I respect that the FWB arrangement might not work for you (and for many others) but it can work for some people. As with all relationships, you need to know what you want (and be able to ask for it) and give your partner/friend/FWB the respect and consideration he/she is due.
[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]
» RE: There is no cut-and-dried answer to the FWB situation
Posted by: SolarSiStar
Comments are closed-
It is what it is
Posted by: InkMeister on Sep 19, 2008 10:41 AM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Posted by: InkMeister on Sep 19, 2008 10:41 AM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
FWB is not meant to be a "standard" relationship. That's the point. If you want a real relationship, go pursue one. If you don't want to have casual sex, don't do the FWB thing.
One implicit assumption I so strongly dislike is this idea that anything that has to do with the body can't be REAL or SERIOUS or DEEP or LOVING like something more intellectual can be. In other words, a "REAL" relationship is one where you have great conversations, share similar interests, and take part in mutually enjoyable activities together.
But in my view, relationships vary so much, and I wouldn't call one lesser than another because it's emphasis is more on sex than on shared political vision, for example.
In my view, sex can be love, as much as anything else, so long as both partners happily choose to engage in it. The idea that this CAN'T be true is some twisted hangover from world/body denying Christianity. Sex is a beautiful form of loving communication that I am happy to share with others, even if those same others don't have my political,philosophical, or spiritual outlook, or my interest in music and art, or my love of bicycling. Having those things in common is great, but not necessary.
In other words, I'm less interested in the perfect relationship, where things fire on all cylinders, so to speak, and more interested in where my friends or partners and I click together in a beautiful way. I don't reject a friend as less of a friend because we only have areas X Y and Z, and not A B and C, in common. I appreciate that friend because of the X Y and Z, and another friend for the A B and C. Likewise with lovers. And for me, this approach takes so much of the strain off of things, where I might otherwise reject someone I am mostly compatible with, and who enjoys me and who I enjoy as well, simply because they aren't my ideal mate.
So I rather enjoy the idea of polyamorous relationships, and I like the FWB arrangement when it works for both people involved.
It sounds like the author wants more.... and something like a more old fashioned relationship. Great! Go get it. But I don't want that at all.
One implicit assumption I so strongly dislike is this idea that anything that has to do with the body can't be REAL or SERIOUS or DEEP or LOVING like something more intellectual can be. In other words, a "REAL" relationship is one where you have great conversations, share similar interests, and take part in mutually enjoyable activities together.
But in my view, relationships vary so much, and I wouldn't call one lesser than another because it's emphasis is more on sex than on shared political vision, for example.
In my view, sex can be love, as much as anything else, so long as both partners happily choose to engage in it. The idea that this CAN'T be true is some twisted hangover from world/body denying Christianity. Sex is a beautiful form of loving communication that I am happy to share with others, even if those same others don't have my political,philosophical, or spiritual outlook, or my interest in music and art, or my love of bicycling. Having those things in common is great, but not necessary.
In other words, I'm less interested in the perfect relationship, where things fire on all cylinders, so to speak, and more interested in where my friends or partners and I click together in a beautiful way. I don't reject a friend as less of a friend because we only have areas X Y and Z, and not A B and C, in common. I appreciate that friend because of the X Y and Z, and another friend for the A B and C. Likewise with lovers. And for me, this approach takes so much of the strain off of things, where I might otherwise reject someone I am mostly compatible with, and who enjoys me and who I enjoy as well, simply because they aren't my ideal mate.
So I rather enjoy the idea of polyamorous relationships, and I like the FWB arrangement when it works for both people involved.
It sounds like the author wants more.... and something like a more old fashioned relationship. Great! Go get it. But I don't want that at all.
[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]
Comments are closed-
FWB Relationships Work For Me
Posted by: Libertine on Sep 19, 2008 11:55 AM
Current rating: Not yet rated [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Posted by: Libertine on Sep 19, 2008 11:55 AM
Current rating: Not yet rated [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I am a non-monogamous heterosexual male. I prefer novelty and variety in my sex life. I'm not interested in a daily, domestic committed relationship, as I prefer my independence and privacy. I do not wish my sex life to consist only of random hookups, though these have their place on occasion. For my life, friends with benefits relationships work well. Currently, I have several friends with benefits relationships going on, which has worked for me in the 30+ years I've been sexually active.
There are a lot of women who, for whatever reasons, don't want a serious relationship at various points in their lives, but they still have sexual needs they want fulfilled. These are the kinds of women whom I typically choose for my partners. There's lots of great sex with no strings attached on both sides. The cast of characters continues to shift over the years, but that just goes with the territory.
And that's what it's all about. People still have sexual needs even if they don't have the time or inclination to pursue a full-blown relationship, monogamous or not.
The author of this article compares FWB relationships to "real" relationships. As far as I'm concerned my relationships are "real"; they're just not traditional. My relationships are non-traditional, but they're no less "real" than those that end in marriage or long-term commitments. I don't measure the quality of my relationships by how long they last; I don't see my relationships as endurance contests. If the sex was good for both of us in the time it lasted, then it was a success.
She also said, "The cornerstone of friendship is open communication, and becoming a friend with benefits actually shuts down those open lines. Let's face it, if the only thing you're doing together is having sex, it isn't the same thing as sharing who you are."
In response to this, I'm quite honest with the women I have FWBs with -- I make the nature of the relationship quite clear with each woman at the very beginning. We're not getting together to "share who we are" any more than two people who get together once a week to go bowling, play bridge, watch sports on TV, or whatever, get together to "share who they are". We all have casual acquaintances with whom we get together for sole or limited purposes and no one laments the lack of "soul sharing" in these relationships. So, why not sex, too, between two sexually compatible people who are just looking for great sex?
There are a lot of women who, for whatever reasons, don't want a serious relationship at various points in their lives, but they still have sexual needs they want fulfilled. These are the kinds of women whom I typically choose for my partners. There's lots of great sex with no strings attached on both sides. The cast of characters continues to shift over the years, but that just goes with the territory.
And that's what it's all about. People still have sexual needs even if they don't have the time or inclination to pursue a full-blown relationship, monogamous or not.
The author of this article compares FWB relationships to "real" relationships. As far as I'm concerned my relationships are "real"; they're just not traditional. My relationships are non-traditional, but they're no less "real" than those that end in marriage or long-term commitments. I don't measure the quality of my relationships by how long they last; I don't see my relationships as endurance contests. If the sex was good for both of us in the time it lasted, then it was a success.
She also said, "The cornerstone of friendship is open communication, and becoming a friend with benefits actually shuts down those open lines. Let's face it, if the only thing you're doing together is having sex, it isn't the same thing as sharing who you are."
In response to this, I'm quite honest with the women I have FWBs with -- I make the nature of the relationship quite clear with each woman at the very beginning. We're not getting together to "share who we are" any more than two people who get together once a week to go bowling, play bridge, watch sports on TV, or whatever, get together to "share who they are". We all have casual acquaintances with whom we get together for sole or limited purposes and no one laments the lack of "soul sharing" in these relationships. So, why not sex, too, between two sexually compatible people who are just looking for great sex?
[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]
Comments are closed-
Casual sex can also CURE depression
Posted by: wwittman on Sep 19, 2008 11:04 PM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Posted by: wwittman on Sep 19, 2008 11:04 PM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
that word "can" renders the statement almost meaningless
Sex causing depression is about as scientific as abortion causing breast cancer
both, brought to you by the people who hate sex, as a concept.
Sex causing depression is about as scientific as abortion causing breast cancer
both, brought to you by the people who hate sex, as a concept.
[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]
Comments are closed-
Why does this author feel the need to tell society what they should or shouldn't do?
Posted by: rickiey on Sep 20, 2008 6:27 AM
Current rating: Not yet rated [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Posted by: rickiey on Sep 20, 2008 6:27 AM
Current rating: Not yet rated [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I had a FWB situation about 16 years ago.
We've been (happily) married for 14 years now.
Sometimes, it just works out.
Do what makes YOU happy, not what some idiot writer thinks should make you happy.
We've been (happily) married for 14 years now.
Sometimes, it just works out.
Do what makes YOU happy, not what some idiot writer thinks should make you happy.
[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]
» RE: Why does this author feel the need to tell society what they should or shouldn't do?
Posted by: SolarSiStar
Comments are closed-
Unexamined Assumptions
Posted by: MMonroe on Sep 21, 2008 4:21 PM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Posted by: MMonroe on Sep 21, 2008 4:21 PM
Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Not everyone wants or needs the type of relationship you describe. Simply because FWB relationships haven't worked for you, doesn't mean they won't work for someone else.
As for the study of college students you cited which showed college women were more likely than men to exhibit signs of depression as the result of casual sex, it is difficult to judge the results without seeing the study itself. However, the study:
a.is limited to college students. Older women may not feel the same way about casual sex.
b. evidently concludes that women are "depressed" by casual sex because it doesn't lead to the romantic relationships they were expecting. Perhaps the problem isn't the sex, it's the expectations. Maybe if young women weren't inculcated with the notion that monogamous romantic relationships are the be all and end all of human connection, they would be less disappointed.
There are also generalizations from very narrowly defined studies. For example: Ten-percent of the time, an FWB turns into more, but in the meantime all we're getting is less. Why do we settle for coach when we could go first-class?
Setting aside the coach/first class assumptions, which are problematic in and of themselves, the ten percent number comes from one, small study of 125 college students. That study tells us nothing about the relationships of non-college students, or even other college students, not with a sample that small.
Another example: According to "Friends With Benefits, And Stress Too," casual sex actually adds anxiety to a budding connection. Sometimes, an FWB is really a way of avoiding a real relationship.
Again the citation for how casual sex "adds anxiety" comes from a similarly narrow study, and is, I presume, meant to restate the statement by Dr. Levine that people in FWB relationships worry about one or the other partner becoming more attracted than the other.
Since he also states that the 90 people questioned in his second study stated they'd gotten into an FWB-type relationship in order to avoid commitment, concerns about one person becoming more deeply attached seem reasonable to me.
There doesn't seem to be any evidence for your second statement that an FWB can be a way of avoiding a "real relationship." Who defines a "real relationship?" You? Dr. Levine? Maybe those in FWB relationships have good, healthy reasons for avoiding "real relationships." Or maybe they define both real and relationship differently.
If this essay had stayed on the topic of one woman's experience with an FWB relationship, it might have been an insightful, interesting read, but the attempt to use narrow, limited studies to bolster a generalization that FWB relationships are simply bad, weakened the essay considerably.
As for the study of college students you cited which showed college women were more likely than men to exhibit signs of depression as the result of casual sex, it is difficult to judge the results without seeing the study itself. However, the study:
a.is limited to college students. Older women may not feel the same way about casual sex.
b. evidently concludes that women are "depressed" by casual sex because it doesn't lead to the romantic relationships they were expecting. Perhaps the problem isn't the sex, it's the expectations. Maybe if young women weren't inculcated with the notion that monogamous romantic relationships are the be all and end all of human connection, they would be less disappointed.
There are also generalizations from very narrowly defined studies. For example: Ten-percent of the time, an FWB turns into more, but in the meantime all we're getting is less. Why do we settle for coach when we could go first-class?
Setting aside the coach/first class assumptions, which are problematic in and of themselves, the ten percent number comes from one, small study of 125 college students. That study tells us nothing about the relationships of non-college students, or even other college students, not with a sample that small.
Another example: According to "Friends With Benefits, And Stress Too," casual sex actually adds anxiety to a budding connection. Sometimes, an FWB is really a way of avoiding a real relationship.
Again the citation for how casual sex "adds anxiety" comes from a similarly narrow study, and is, I presume, meant to restate the statement by Dr. Levine that people in FWB relationships worry about one or the other partner becoming more attracted than the other.
Since he also states that the 90 people questioned in his second study stated they'd gotten into an FWB-type relationship in order to avoid commitment, concerns about one person becoming more deeply attached seem reasonable to me.
There doesn't seem to be any evidence for your second statement that an FWB can be a way of avoiding a "real relationship." Who defines a "real relationship?" You? Dr. Levine? Maybe those in FWB relationships have good, healthy reasons for avoiding "real relationships." Or maybe they define both real and relationship differently.
If this essay had stayed on the topic of one woman's experience with an FWB relationship, it might have been an insightful, interesting read, but the attempt to use narrow, limited studies to bolster a generalization that FWB relationships are simply bad, weakened the essay considerably.
[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]
» RE: Unexamined Assumptions
Posted by: freelyb
Comments are closed-
Women are becoming like men and vice versa
Posted by: nfamous on Sep 24, 2008 8:53 AM
Current rating: 1 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Posted by: nfamous on Sep 24, 2008 8:53 AM
Current rating: 1 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The FWB lifestyle is being promoted by the global elite. Why? Depopulation and Control. I know it doesn't seem like less children would result necessarily but even if kids come out of FWB what are the odds of them being stable, healthy adults who question the government or even contribute positively to society?
Women are becoming more and more like men these days. Look at the movies coming out of Hollywood. Look at women are into sports. Look at the huge numbers of career women who don't need a man to take care of them, which is good. Women are fighting their natural instincts in an attempt to support themselves.
Conversely, men are being programmed to be more like women. Metrosexuals abound. This is not an accident. Americans are being bombarded with psy-ops from high levels. Of course few believe it so the effects of it go on unchallenged to the detriment of society. There is nothing we can do to change this trend. America is lost because Americans don't care about the country. We only care about ourselves and therein lies the problem.
FWB is just a symptom of what ails America. When we can't find something satisfying we find a substitute. That's why we eat so much, watch so much tv, play so many video games, etc. Sex has replaced relationships. I don't want to be banging someone who is free to bang anyone else. That's dangerous and nasty. It might feel good physically but it makes you feel like one huge pile of worthless shit inside. And that goes for men and women.
Women are becoming more and more like men these days. Look at the movies coming out of Hollywood. Look at women are into sports. Look at the huge numbers of career women who don't need a man to take care of them, which is good. Women are fighting their natural instincts in an attempt to support themselves.
Conversely, men are being programmed to be more like women. Metrosexuals abound. This is not an accident. Americans are being bombarded with psy-ops from high levels. Of course few believe it so the effects of it go on unchallenged to the detriment of society. There is nothing we can do to change this trend. America is lost because Americans don't care about the country. We only care about ourselves and therein lies the problem.
FWB is just a symptom of what ails America. When we can't find something satisfying we find a substitute. That's why we eat so much, watch so much tv, play so many video games, etc. Sex has replaced relationships. I don't want to be banging someone who is free to bang anyone else. That's dangerous and nasty. It might feel good physically but it makes you feel like one huge pile of worthless shit inside. And that goes for men and women.
[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]
» RE: Women are becoming like men and vice versa... WTF?!
Posted by: DaBear
Comments are closed-
Whenever I see clipped citations
Posted by: DaBear on Sep 25, 2008 4:06 PM
Current rating: Not yet rated [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Posted by: DaBear on Sep 25, 2008 4:06 PM
Current rating: Not yet rated [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I get suspicious. Just like whenever I see specious "science" proclaiming that men don't have the bonding response to sex.... oh right, I just like to shag a lot with one woman instead of a bazillion of 'em because I'm just a big giant penis or testosterone glob... oh right, I forgot. Men are soooo much more than most modern non-fiction writers seem to have experienced. Solution? Go meet MORE of us not less. You'll learn more that way.... some of us even pick up our socks and do the dishes, dammit!
What kinda stoopid craptasm is that?!
In 18 years of habitual monogamy, most of those years unhappily so but just as committed as ever, I'd kill for a few FWBs. I'm sure my wife would too.
I love it when people who've only ever experienced one thing begin to pontificate to everyone else what is good or bad about stuff they know nothing.
After a while all I could read in this piece was: nerdy guys, bad, rich first classers good, casual sex bad, men bad, owning class fairy tale good. Blah blah blah yadayada yada flim flam. Neato.
Good luck to ya' Simcha. Just don't hurt that nerdy Ira Glass lookalike, yeah? Maybe he wants more than an FWB but you've never given him a prayer.
What kinda stoopid craptasm is that?!
In 18 years of habitual monogamy, most of those years unhappily so but just as committed as ever, I'd kill for a few FWBs. I'm sure my wife would too.
I love it when people who've only ever experienced one thing begin to pontificate to everyone else what is good or bad about stuff they know nothing.
After a while all I could read in this piece was: nerdy guys, bad, rich first classers good, casual sex bad, men bad, owning class fairy tale good. Blah blah blah yadayada yada flim flam. Neato.
Good luck to ya' Simcha. Just don't hurt that nerdy Ira Glass lookalike, yeah? Maybe he wants more than an FWB but you've never given him a prayer.
[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]
PROGRESSIVE WIRE
Create 1.5 Million Jobs By Fixing Our Crumbling Schools
Hire Americans to build better schools for American kids!
Why Sex Toys Need a Woman's Touch
Unhappy With Your Birth Control? 10 Methods You May Want to Try
Is Our Sexed-up Society Creating Prosti-Tots?
