The Deeper Meaning in the Republican Sex Scandals

Another Gay-bashing, Klan-loving, Pulpit-Slurping, Republican has disgraced himself.

No, make that two.

Let's start with the Christian Coalition's favorite son, Louisiana senator David Vitter.

There's not enough Boudreaux Buttpaste in the world that can wipe-clean a career like Vitter's-- now better known as The Guy Who Frequents Prostitutes and Asks To Wear a Diaper.

Apparently the whores of New Orleans call him "Vitter the Shitter." And don't even ask about his love child -- who, one can only hope, is kept well-stocked with Pampers.

I hate the way a hypocrite like this can drag the good name of kinky sex through the mud.

Vitter refuses to resign, of course. He and his wife took the neo-Antoinette position at their recent press conference: "Let them eat shit."

David said God, and His Wife Wendy, were willing to move on -- and so should everyone else. After all, he still has plenty of gay marriages to wreck, and black voters to disenfranchise! Let the man get on with his work!

But his better half upstaged him. Wendy showed up for the cameras in a low-cut leopard print dress and giant hoop earrings, to say she's forgiven Davy for everything and it was time for the press to leave their family alone.

She needs more than sartorial assistance:

In 2000, Vitter was included in a Newhouse News Service story about the strain of congressional careers on families.

His wife, Wendy, was asked by the Newhouse reporter: If her husband were as unfaithful as Livingston or former President Bill Clinton, would she be as forgiving as Hillary Rodham Clinton?

"I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary," Wendy Vitter told Newhouse News. "If he does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me."

"I think fear is a very good motivating factor in a marriage," she added. "Don't put fear down.

Watch the campaign videos of Vitter's last election, where his wife asked him to change their baby's nappie.

Read Jon Swift's satire on how Gay Marriage Ruined Vitter's Life.

Follow the Diaper investigation, load by load.

Or maybe you've been turned into a pillar of salt and find yourself unable to move.

Don't worry, there's another distraction. Vitter is momentarily overshadowed by Congressman Bob Allen of Florida. Allen is such a pest at the men's public toilets that that it was only after the THIRD time (in an hour) that he waltzed in to make a play, that an undercover cop finally busted him for solicitation.

And gee, Bob was offering men $20 to go down on them. Jeff Gannon must be wrending his garments:

...The 48 year old Republican Representative was arrested today on second degree misdemeanor charges for solicitation for prostitution. And the twist is that he's a married man, and was asking an undercover cop in a men's room if he could pay him to give him a blowjob. It's so GOP!

Allen was out for a little afternoon delight and got nabbed at noon in Titusville, Florida. "Officers say they noticed Allen acting suspicious as he went in and out of the men's restroom 3 times. Minutes later, he solicited an undercover male officer inside the restroom, offering to perform oral sex for $20."

He was first elected in 2000 and lists "water sports" as a hobby on his official state website.

The Christian Coalition loves loved Rep. Allen. Like Vitter (and Foley) and the rest of the Republican hypocrites, he was strong on the family values bullshit. In the last session of the Florida legislature, the Christian Coalition commends him for supporting their (extremist, hateful) positions 92% of the time. The Rainbow Democratic club also rates all the elected officials in the area. Allen? "Wicked Witch: Worst of the Worst."

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