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Why I Quit Working in Porn

I didn’t leave the porn industry because I object to porn. I left because I love it.
December 28, 2009  |  
 
 
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Sixteen naked young women stared at me from a contact sheet of photographs. Some stood tall; others cocked their hips in a coy slouch. One girl with short, curly hair smiled broadly. The rest seemed to be searching for something in the camera.

I scanned through each photo, noting hair color and style. I looked for tattoos and piercings, for stretch marks and scars. I searched for the right one.

Each girl held a paper with a name scrawled on it—not in front of her, but to the side.

They didn’t want to hide their tits.

When I found the one, I circled her stage name with a red marker. Sharon. Sharon glowed with a light tan. Her hair shimmered with natural blond highlights. She smiled with her big blue eyes while her full lips curled in a faint grin. And her pale pink nipples stood pert—like perfect little gumdrops. She looked like a cheerleader. Athletic. Clean-cut. Shaved.

“Does she do anal?” I asked.

My boss rustled through some papers, and then shook his head. “No, but she does boy/girl.”

“Perfect.”

An Eye Full

Maybe you know me. I’m the one who stays quiet, simply listening, as other women discuss the evils of pornography. At risk of outing myself, I choose not to share my opinions. But I have quite a few. After all, I spent three years working behind the scenes for a company publishing porn websites and DVDs.

What started as a position copyediting business proposals for an empire of porn paysites quickly evolved when my boss noticed I had an eye for photography. When he began developing a new site focusing on a select handful of premium models, he assigned me with the task of selecting them.

I spent hours watching videos, fast-forwarding through long hardcore scenes, listening to interviews and sifting through thousands of images. My role was part quality assurance, part production manager and part casting director. I called photographers to criticize them for unrealistically faked cum shots and bad lighting. I emailed models to thank them for taking the time to fill out tedious surveys about their personalities and hobbies.

I sat in my office with my hand on my mouse and made decisions that would affect the budding careers of young models who would never know my name or face.

East End Girls

Eastern Europe supplies the porn industry with thousands of fresh faces each year. Thanks to several premier erotic photographers and adult production companies in Budapest and Prague, pretty girls don’t have to look far to find work. Though video is king, photography remains popular—especially for magazines and websites marketing to US audiences.

A college student from the Czech Republic can be transformed in a flash. Oksana becomes Andrea. Stepanka becomes Stephanie.

Though not mainstream, adult industry work doesn’t have quite the same stigma in most of Europe as it does in the US. The girls I surveyed and emailed preferred modeling and acting to dancing or escort work.

Of course, not all the girls are in it for part time work. Every year a handful makes it big, leaves the world of amateur style porn for the high end DVDs and glossy magazines. One or two become legitimate porn stars, usually leaving Eastern Europe for Los Angeles.

We chose to work with Eastern European models to cut costs. Once we put the word out, our European photographers submitted hundreds of models, most of which were far too experienced. They were already all over the web, with a dozen different stage names.

But a little over fifty were truly brand new to the industry. I began to narrow them down.

Break it Down

From thousands of miles away, in an unassuming office in a strip mall, I flipped through contact sheets and dozens of handwritten biographies on my hunt for the next big thing.


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Alternet Comments:

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A good piece of writing!
Posted by: batmagoo on Dec 28, 2009 2:16 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Thanks for an interesting perspective.
One that's easy to grasp.

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» RE: A good piece of writing! Posted by: John Annis
» RE: A good piece of writing! Posted by: dmaciewski

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Porn
Posted by: kepstein7777 on Dec 28, 2009 3:39 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
An interesting angle. No agendas or sermons.

It tells us what we knew already, but it's still interesting to read about: People are people; every business is a business; and every job is a job. Each of us got into our jobs for different reasons, and each has a different attitude towards our jobs. And of course, some jobs are not for everybody.

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Thanks for the different perspective on the industry!
Posted by: gregoireb on Dec 28, 2009 4:43 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I found your article well written and from a different perspective on the industry. Thank you Miya!!

And I hope you're able to eventually return to your past enjoyment of porn!

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SURPRISE! Another bullshit commentary by alternet about porn
Posted by: logansafi on Dec 28, 2009 6:25 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
A woman 'philosophying' on how to make heterosexual porn is about as idiotic as a man commenting on how historical romance novels might be better written. Porn is gender based same as 'romance' writing is, too. Besides, this woman seems rather clueless about why porn is so horribly made and disgusting anyway.

What most of these supposed 'liberal' examinations of present day US porn seem to lack is the basic realization that making porn is heavily censored, just as nudie clubs and prostitution is. Censorship and making an activity illegal turns things into disgusting and wretched activities for all. One only has to turn to how making drugs illegal has created such a nasty underground scene to easily see what I am saying here.

One might look at the poor nastiness of the current porn production mode simply as what happens when the mafia, government, and church combine together to regulate morality. We get something akin to the cum nastiness of the pedophile priests of the Catholic Church, do we not? Or the sadist sexual nastiness of government, police, military torturers? That leaves us only with the Mafia to humanize the industry! AND, we might add... sites like alternet offering their lame try-to-hard commentaries do little to better the situation.

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SURPRISE! Another bullshit commentary by alternet about porn
Posted by: logansafi on Dec 28, 2009 6:27 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
A woman 'philosophying' on how to make heterosexual porn is about as idiotic as a man commenting on how historical romance novels might be better written. Porn is gender based same as 'romance' writing is, too. Besides, this woman seems rather clueless about why porn is so horribly made and disgusting anyway.

What most of these supposed 'liberal' examinations of present day US porn seem to lack is the basic realization that making porn is heavily censored, just as nudie clubs and prostitution is. Censorship and making an activity illegal turns things into disgusting and wretched activities for all. One only has to turn to how making drugs illegal has created such a nasty underground scene to easily see what I am saying here.

One might look at the poor nastiness of the current porn production mode simply as what happens when the mafia, government, and church combine together to regulate morality. We get something akin to the cum nastiness of the pedophile priests of the Catholic Church, do we not? Or the sadist sexual nastiness of government, police, military torturers? That leaves us only with the Mafia to humanize the industry! AND, we might add... sites like alternet offering their lame try-too-hard commentaries do little to better the situation.

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Why she quit
Posted by: BlueTigress on Dec 28, 2009 8:15 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Because she couldn't leave the scouting at the office?

Because she couldn't stop classifying other women as porn star or not?

Or because the porn stopped being exciting to her?

So she became just like a lot of other porn producers. Big deal.

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Comment reported. off-topic SPAM.
Posted by: GuitarBill on Dec 28, 2009 12:47 PM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Go away "truther" scum, we don't want your tin-foil hats.

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Finally, an interesting perspective...
Posted by: xenacat on Dec 28, 2009 8:27 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
this is a well written piece by an grown-up woman about a certain aspect of sexuality. It is not preachy, doesn't push a mass consumption agenda and is oh so much better than several of the sexuality pieces Alternet has posted in the past. I hope to see more like this one posted by Alternet in future. Even if one doesn't agree with this author's viewpoint, at least it isn't the standard Oprah pablum about relationships....

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The Slavic Mafia thanks you.
Posted by: ecogazoo on Dec 28, 2009 8:50 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The author claims that Eastern European girls are doing this because they love it, not from economic necessity. I assert that the author does not know by what motivation the girls work, and that if her assertion is true, it wouldn't be necessary to focus on girls from Eastern Europe, where the "labor" is cheapest (that is, among Caucasian models). Rest assured that the Rule of Law in the area of women's rights in Eastern Europe is virtually non-existent and fueled by organized corruption.

The world needs a lot more sex-positive women, but it doesn't need ignorant apologists who don't help their own cases by making weak arguments in defense of an industry which is simply funneling money to Slavic mafias.

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As Old As Time
Posted by: Southern Gal on Dec 28, 2009 8:55 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Women using their bodies to make money or just to survive is as old as time. There probably aren't a lot of opportunities for women in Eastern Europe to make money and support themselves and their families. With this global economy there will be more and more women who enter prostitution and pornography, because there's no where else to go.

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legal, regulated, transparent: this is how exploitation ends
Posted by: tali on Dec 28, 2009 12:38 PM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
If the woman is satisfied she has broken no laws and claims to not be ashamed of the porn she made (and is really a woman), why is she not using her real name and why aren't the porn titles made available to readers so we can see their content for ourselves? We should be able to see the porn "Miya" made and look at what she paid Eastern European women to do on film instead of having to rely on an anonymous story of an anonymous porn production company.

I want her name and I want to see what she made, and I can't come up with a good reason why Alternet would stand in the way of readers obtaining vital information necessary if we're going to think critically about the porn industry and its media output. If we could see the Eastern European women for themselves, find some of them and see what's become of them in the time since they made "Miya" a lot of money risking their bodies, we could put some of the placating lies pornographers tell to rest.

Tell us again, liberal men, how transparency, legality, regulation and openness are the keys to stopping exploitation and abuse in the sex industries. Then tell us her name and the name of the porn films she legally made so we can see for ourselves and make our own minds up.

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nice article
Posted by: Juven on Dec 28, 2009 2:41 PM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
an interesting "slice of life", indeed!

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I hope...
Posted by: blip9 on Dec 28, 2009 3:25 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I hope you wash the computer's mouse every time you're done using it. I bet you don't.

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I've worked in porn for nearly 2 decades
Posted by: Darklady on Dec 28, 2009 4:39 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
And I still enjoy the work, the people, and the thrill of genuine sexual chemistry, exploration, and discovery. I'm tired of seeing the same-ole same-ole from LA, but the internet is helping change that.

I know at least one woman who left academia to work in adult because academia is apparently enormously sexist. Who knew?

There will invariably be (and already are) pig-ignorant comments condemning you for your choice to work in adult, but this woman totally "gets" it.

What I don't "get" is why so many people seem to think their sexuality doesn't deserve intelligent, ethical, respectful, enthusiastic content and content producers, be it photographic, artistic, spoken, or written.

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» Sadly, most of the time.... Posted by: JoshuaLudd
» RE: Hey Joshua... Posted by: jimidee

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I've worked in porn for nearly 2 decades
Posted by: Darklady on Dec 28, 2009 4:40 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
And I still enjoy the work, the people, and the thrill of genuine sexual chemistry, exploration, and discovery. I'm tired of seeing the same-ole same-ole from LA, but the internet is helping change that.

I know at least one woman who left academia to work in adult because academia is apparently enormously sexist. Who knew?

There will invariably be (and already are) pig-ignorant comments condemning you for your choice to work in adult, but this woman totally "gets" it.

What I don't "get" is why so many people seem to think their sexuality doesn't deserve intelligent, ethical, respectful, enthusiastic content and content producers, be it photographic, artistic, spoken, or written.

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If they say they're high achievers doesn't porn defeat their purpose?
Posted by: bigbadwolf on Dec 29, 2009 7:16 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I wonder if those young ladies studying at university and moonlighting as porn stars would be able to get the jobs they're studying for when prospective employers do a search on the internet and get a video popping up of them doing deep throat.

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What bizarre propaganda!
Posted by: goodyweaver on Dec 29, 2009 8:54 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I am a counselor - I wrote my master's thesis on post-traumatic stress in women, and included a section on sex work. In the mountain of research I had to sift through when I wrote this, there were multiple studies that showed that the vast majority of women who work in pornography (or all sex work, in fact) were victims of sexual assault prior to entering the sex trade, and many report being raped after entering the "business." A huge percentage of sex workers show signs of post-traumatic stress (which in some ways makes them ideal candidates for a position that requires one to shut off their emotions and/or lower their self-worth enough to engage in sex acts that are not really of their choosing). Another huge majority of sex workers are drug addicts - probably related to the PTSD.

When I see pornography, it is with these statistics in mind. Which woman is starring in this film because her father raped her twice a week for 8 years? Which one ran away from home because she was being burned with cigarettes? Which is just getting through this scene so she can go buy some heroin around the corner? Which one will be dead in a few years from an overdose - suicide - or at the hands of an abusive boyfriend?

None of this, of course, even starts to address the author's discussion of women in Eastern Europe and the desperate financial situation they often find themselves in - or the rampant trade in such women that fuels the sex industry around the world. Anyone with any common sense can probably figure out how disgusting that whole mention is.

This is not to say that there aren't ANY women in porn who genuinely made the choice without any extenuating circumstances. Sure, I'll buy that. But this is like saying that there are some Asian children who really LIKE working in sweatshops and thought it was a better career option for them than going to medical school. As such, I suppose I can't agree with those who just find this article "interesting" or a cool "slice of life." I'd call it exploitation. I'd call it disregard and disrespect for women's issues - especially, in this case, the poverty of Eastern European women. And I'd probably call it bullshit too, since as others have pointed out, we can't even verify that this person EVER worked in the sex industry at all.

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» RE: What bizarre propaganda! Posted by: off-the-radar 2

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RE: SPAM ALERT! PLEASE BAN KAISASEELEY FOR THESE ENDLESS ADS!
Posted by: Plexius2 on Dec 29, 2009 6:59 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
NM

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If I remember right, the figures for rape and childhood abuse are high
Posted by: Ian MacLeod on Dec 29, 2009 2:30 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Something like one out of three women in the U.S. have been or will be raped at least once in their lives, and one out of five has been abused as a child. I would think that those alone would explain a lot of those PTSD cases. Those figures are also FAR lower in the E.U. So a place that's open, frank and matter-of-fact about sex has FAR lower rape and abuse statistics, lower STD rates, lower teen pregnancy rates, lower abortion rates... Just like with drugs or anything else that human beings are going to do regardless of the law, try to suppress it and it becomes damaging, causing all of the things those pushing suppression insist they're trying to prevent.

Of course, the "good Christians" who push suppression are aware of this. They insist that doing wrong - teaching sex ed, allowing contraception as soon as someone is capable of needing it, permitting abortion on demand and in a timely fashion whatever the reason and so on - to prevent suffering is avoiding the natural consequences ordained by God as punishment. So they fight tooth and nail to make sure all of us filthy, licentious sinners continue to be punished properly for our sins, and if God won't take care of it immediately, they're perfectly willing to help Him out. And women pay the highest price, as always, because Nature and the cowardice and lack of honor of too many men (granted, men who are deliberately uneducated, too young, too poor and with poor prospects, but in Nature's view, men nonetheless) leaves them holding the results.

In such a punitive society, it's always better to assume guilt and to punish rather than to forgive, mitigate or prevent, and if the results are destruction and tremendous waste of life and potential well, that's God's judgment. That those choices and the actual acts that cause those consequences to be so destructive are strictly due to human intolerance and actions is a non sequitur to them. They're always sure of God's Will and happy to carry it out so God can just sit back, relax and watch the carnage, presumably beer in hand.

To a civilized person, the very notion that a human child could be "illegitimate" and classed as a punishment is something you'd only expect to see with a pack of complete savages. But then, remember we're still involved in illegal and murderous occupations to steal resources, still imposing genocidal sanctions on already-poor Third World countries who refuse to cooperate with our orders, still killing about 120 innocent civilians of all ages per "legitimate" target, still using land mines (which Obama refuses to ban), white phosphorus (ditto), DU (same) that contaminates entire continents and causes horrendous birth defects as well as exposes our own military to the same genetic damage and early, lingering deaths.

As I said, America is not a civilized country.

Ian

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Why you quit working in porn?
Posted by: Alenna on Dec 30, 2009 7:55 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I figured maybe you saw the Dead Porn Stars Memorial on Youtube. Or perhaps the Rap song "Constance", about a girl who does internet porn.

But no, the people making money off of the sex trade (pimps, promoters, madames etc) don't really care about what happens to their human "merchandise" when they're finished with it.

Erotica and porn used to be a kind of art-form, and an act of rebellion. Now it's a big business. Capitalism. It's all about greed.

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» RE: Dead Porn Stars Memorial Posted by: Plexius2
» Porn keep rape stats low?? Posted by: Alenna
» RE: Porn keep rape stats low?? Posted by: joshuaism
» RE: Porn keep rape stats low?? Posted by: joshuaism

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Miya's real name-
Posted by: aman22 on Dec 30, 2009 11:18 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Miya's writing looks a hell of a lot like that of a man named Jay Forman, who used to write for Slate before they found out that he just made up stories and passed them off as news. Take a look, the similarities are uncanny:

The Booty Business
http://www.slate.com/id/104598/

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» RE: Miya's real name- Posted by: Plexius2

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ML561
Posted by: ML561 on Dec 30, 2009 4:54 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I believe the original poster got to the heart of the matter when she said she could no longer work in pornography because she had gotten to know the actresses as people with names, faces, and ambitions other than to be porn stars. Porn reduces men, women, and, sadly, even children, to body parts to be used.

Have any of you read the very sad autobiography, "Ordeal" by Linda Lovelace (the star of Deep Throat?) Linda was coerced into making porn by an abusive man who threatened to kill her and her family--and subjected her to unspeakable sexual abuse--if she did not do as he ordered. Unfortunately, no one seems to know this. Many people still assume that Linda was into the porn industry of her own free will. The public by and large bought into that myth.

Linda finally escaped from her abuser (in the autobiography he is called Chuck Traynor). But Traynor apparently went on to "manage the career of" another porn star, the late Marilyn Chambers, and abused her as well.

, .

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RE: Thanks: THIS LOOKS LIKE TURKISH SPAM NM
Posted by: Plexius2 on Dec 31, 2009 11:05 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
NM

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AMERICAN WOMEN ARE LESBIANS, ATHEISTS, EVIL AND FASCISTS !!
Posted by: skepticgod on Jan 1, 2010 8:27 PM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
AMERICAN WOMEN ARE LESBIANS, ATHEISTS, EVIL AND FASCISTS !!

The capitalist-transformation of America in this stage of monopoly-capitalism is one of the major causes of corruption and gangsterization in the whole society. Family values are worse than ever in USA.

The traditional sex between married couples is no longer obeyed in this law-less, fascist capitalist society of USA.

The tactic of many american far-right wing capitalist feminist libertarian girls is radical-masturbation. When people people masturbate, on a regular basis, they no longer need a real-partner. Because according to them masturbation is real-sex but with an imagined partner. So they can live wild, without having to meet any real partner. This is hardcore capitalist narcissism.

So the strategy of many females is to finger their vaginas all the time so that they can live lonely sex-less lives real far from the satanized men by far-right wing feminists.

i talk a lot with my sisters, and they know a lot about the behaviour of american women, and read books about it and stuff, and she told me that the reason that US females are so cold is that they rely on vibrators and sex-machines for their sexual needs

so many american girls are so anti-social and so anti-males, that they'd rather stick a bottle into their vaginas than open their vaginas for a real penis.

That's why many males in USA are forced to look for girlfriends or wives outside the United States. Because American girls are totally corrupt, narcissists and lesbians.

Go to Henry Makow's website http://www.savethemales.ca or http://www.henrymakow.com he talks about how fascist-lesbianism, and lesbian-fascist feminism is turning american girls into lesbians.

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The similarities btw Miya and Jay Forman
Posted by: aman22 on Jan 2, 2010 8:33 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Not sure how you missed the obvious similarities in content, sentence structure and paragraph structure and writing style, but here are a few examples:

Here's Miya: "Maybe you know me. I’m the one who stays quiet, simply listening, as other women discuss the evils of pornography."

And Jay: "I had no opinions about porn when I started, thinking I'd work there a month or two, meet the freaks, and move on. "

Miya:"What started as a position copyediting business proposals for an empire of porn paysites quickly evolved when my boss noticed I had an eye for photography."... See More

Jay:"What I didn't expect was my quick promotion to managing editor of the company's Internet division."

Miya:"I judged. Too much cellulite from that angle. Her tattoos need covering—try Dermablend."

Jay:"We engaged in endless discussions over the flaws of one silicone-inflated blonde versus another. "One of her eyes is higher than the other!" "Her toes are too long!"

Miya:"They chose to do porn not out of desperation or coercion, but because they saw an opportunity to make good money in a way that didn’t compromise their morals."

Jay:"In my disillusionment, I came to believe that pornography exploits men. The female models count their bills and wish they could get a little more, like working people everywhere."

Miya:"The business of producing pornography overshadowed the excitement of consuming pornography. I became blasé about what had always been my biggest turn-on."

Jay:"The desensitization began. I stopped finding mainstream porn even remotely sexy. After all, the bottom line of the industry is about money, not sex. Amateur strip night, where women take it off for the thrill of it and not for the money, is sexy. But a man can only look at so many pictures of a frosted blonde draped over the hood of a bitchin' Camaro before it starts to get old."

http://www.slate.com/id/104598/

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.
Posted by: jeff784ty43182 on Jan 2, 2010 12:59 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I also agree that the people making money off of the sex trade (pimps, promoters, madames etc) don't really care about what happens to their human "merchandise" when they're finished with it.



Samsung LN46A650
Garmin GPSmap 478

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Well
Posted by: Bushmaster on Jan 2, 2010 4:03 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I wonder why this article was printed.

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Pornography and women
Posted by: ML561 on Jan 4, 2010 5:58 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Porn is extremely boring. When I first watched an X-rated film (I was 31 years old at the time) I first thought "you people have got to be kidding. What can anyone possibly find attractive about this stuff? Then I started to laugh because the so called "plot" of the film was so totally inane. A waste of time and money.

Also, those hotels that cater to people who want to rent by the hour and specialize in X-rated movies are among the most pitiful things I have ever seen. Dusty mirrors on the ceilings and on the walls. A little stinky shower. Furniture that is from the 1950's and most likely has not been cleaned since then.

The man who took me to such an establixhment hoping that I would be enthralled was quickly told otherwise. I left as fast amd as far as my feet could carry me.

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parça kontör
Posted by: parça kontor on Jan 10, 2010 2:30 PM   
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parça kontör, tam kontör, parça kontör bayiliği, kontör bayiliği, turkcell parça tam, avea parça tam, vodafone parça tam kontör
parça kontör, tam kontör, parça kontör bayiliği, kontör bayiliği, turkcell parça tam, avea parça tam, vodafone parça tam, kontör

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heard this sadful
Posted by: wetwe on Jan 11, 2010 4:58 AM   
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I TOLD you over and over again the truth about the a-hole... NOW at last you finally see it.
Bet you're wishing you didn't stab you’ in the back NOW, huh?
MKV Converter for Mac\MKV to WMV MAC\MKV to PSP MAC\MKV to iPod MAC\MKV to Xbox MAC\MKV to iPhone MAC\MKV to Apple TV MAC

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deleted
Posted by: DavidSleep on Jan 19, 2010 2:03 AM   
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report
Posted by: DavidSleep on Jan 21, 2010 11:38 AM   
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thanks
Posted by: sportyman on Jan 21, 2010 7:26 PM   
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