Can Gardening Make Your Sex Life Better?

By Makenna Goodman, Chelsea Green Publishing. Posted June 25, 2009.

If this is true, then one must ask: what constitutes good sex? I, for one, don't know much about sex except that I like it. I do know that it's certainly different strokes for different folks (and you can take that literally). Some people like it kinky, with strangers. Some people prefer it to be like ships passing in the night, with no talking, no looking. Some pay for it, and are fine with that -- I just read, for example, an article about a mail-order bride, which is fine, and not really what I'm talking about. While I'm all for the freedom of experimenting with craigslist sex, the sex I'm thinking about in this case is a union of two thinking, feeling beings, a type of sex that's a merging of people (two, three, four, however many it takes), that's not abusive, completely respectful, safely raucous and yeah, raunchy. Hot sex, in other words, between people who care about one another…and the land they're rolling around on.

By way of research, I questioned my coworkers and fellow sexually active friends. I consider it a varied population, as some are married with children, some are long-term dating, some new to the world of gardening itself, some recently betrothed and thus committing to a lifetime of sex and gardening, and some who don't like gardening and don't do it at all. One man felt strongly about the question, when I posed it to him via Skype. He said:

Who cares if gardening improves your sex life? Gardening is a good alternative to sex. It's invigorating. It's inspiring. It's fun and bonding to do with your partner. It helps you live longer and healthier. In other words, gardening and sex are nearly identical, except that one you do in front of your neighbors and the other not so often. When my anonymous wife and I have a good day of gardening, we are more likely to have good sex that night. When we have a bad day of gardening–for example, she correctly points out that I'm doing something stupid and wrong–we are less likely to have good sex that night. But I can also anonymously and seriously say that a good day in the garden does improve my mood in general and thus my libido and romantic inclination. But that's just because gardening is what makes me happy. If I liked mountain biking and didn't like gardening, I don't think gardening would do it for me.

It got me thinking. Maybe it's not gardening, but passion itself that drives one crazy between the sheets (or, perched on a turbine). But then again, there are a lot of people with a big passion for videogames, and I'm going to just put it out there and say a gardener is probably more in tune to the physical act of love than a gamer, who's more likely glued to the boob tube. Rougher hands, to begin with, not to mention an appetite for delicious things, sweat, and getting dirty. I'm sure there are exceptions. Gamers, don't take it personally.

I turned to another source, a young woman who believes that gardeners do, in fact, make better lovers. She claims, "We're more in tune with fecundity." Fecundity! This word means the quality or power of producing abundantly, and connotes ideas of fruitfulness and fertility. To this woman, the intricacy and attention one pays to their land -- the weather, the weeding, the plant placement -- translates directly into interpersonal relationships. To her, if you love to work in the garden, then you'll love to cook the food, serve it to someone you find attractive, and then…attend to them intricately, all night long, and some in the morning. Her belief is that the attention to growth and process one holds while gardening is transferable to sex. And she says it's better sex. Better than the sex she's had with non-gardeners.

My artist friend, on the other hand, is not a gardener, and he has a different take. To him, "Sex is better when you're happy. And these people are probably happier if they're gardening. I, for one, draw, which I think makes my sex better. Anything fulfilling one does in life will do that, I think." I feel like getting fulfilled…right now…

What say you?

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