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Sex and Relationships

Virginity Movement on the Defensive, Scrambling to Rebrand

By Jessica Valenti, The Nation. Posted June 23, 2009.


Progressives have to fight to ensure that abstinence groups don't regain their cultural footing.
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Keith Deltano has a high school student tied up onstage and is precariously dangling a cinder block over the young man's genital region. Deltano is not a school bully or an escaped lunatic. He's an abstinence proponent, a comedian who uses this brick trick to demonstrate the ineffectiveness of condoms (although the actual lesson learned may be to steer clear of comics brandishing bricks).

Under the Bush administration, stories like this were commonplace. There was the Virginia Beach teacher who told her ninth graders they could be arrested for having premarital sex. And the abstinence teacher who explained to the young women in his class that women are like wrapped lollipops, and that after having sex they're nothing more than "poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled suckers."

This would be comical if not for the fact that these people have been teaching -- or not teaching, more accurately -- young Americans about sex. And then there are the assorted ridiculous sex-scare policy decisions -- like the FDA holding up over-the-counter status for emergency contraception out of fear that it would make young women promiscuous or even lead to teens forming "sex-based cults."

Thankfully, the Obama administration has brought some measure of sanity to public health policy, cutting most abstinence-only education funding from the 2010 budget. But abstinence organizations are not going away. In fact, they're getting organized. Well aware that their cause is in trouble and unpopular, purity proponents are revamping their image to appear more mainstream. And with Obama's faith-based initiative lending them an ear, it just might work.

In my book The Purity Myth, I call these folks the virginity movement. Composed of antifeminist think tanks like the Independent Women's Forum and Concerned Women for America, abstinence-only organizations, religious leaders and legislators with regressive social values, the virginity movement is much more than the same old sexism; it's a targeted and well-funded backlash hellbent on rolling back women's rights using modernized notions of purity, morality and sexuality. Its goals are mired in old-school gender roles, and its primary tool is young women's sexuality. (What better way to get people to pay attention to your cause than to frame it in terms of teenage girls' having, or not having, sex? It's salacious!)

The virginity movement has suffered a number of public embarrassments recently, from the Bristol Palin pregnancy brouhaha to study after study demonstrating the ineffectiveness of virginity pledges and abstinence-only education programs.

Its spokespeople aren't exactly helping, either. Leslee Unruh, founder and president of the Abstinence Clearinghouse, has a reputation for being a bit unhinged. In a 2007 Fox News segment, for example, Unruh debated Mary Alice Carr of NARAL Pro-Choice New York over a new oral contraceptive. After arguing that the birth control pill was poison and that women needed to be protected from it, Unruh ended the segment by becoming frenetic and screaming over Carr, "I want more babies. More babies! We love babies!"

Unruh loves babies so much, in fact, that she founded an organization called the Alpha Center, which in 1987 pleaded no contest to five misdemeanor charges of unlicensed adoption and foster care practices. (Nineteen additional charges, including four felonies, were dropped.)

Valerie Huber, executive director of the National Abstinence Education Association (NAEA) and former head of Ohio's abstinence programs, also brought the movement unfavorable coverage when she was suspended after a state ethics investigation found her guilty of neglect of duty for hiring a company she was affiliated with to do state work.

The lack of consistent and presentable leadership, combined with ripe-for-mockery educators like Deltano, has made it all too easy to dismiss the virginity movement's message. And they know it. One of the "Strategic Objectives" now listed on the NAEA website is "Rebranding the abstinence message."


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See more stories tagged with: sex, religion, evangelicals, teens, abstinence, right-wing, social conservatives

Jessica Valenti is the executive editor of Feministing.

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observer
Posted by: davy on Jun 23, 2009 2:47 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
We have a saying in Great Britain. O.I.A. Only in America. I have a theory that when you hate, you become what you hate. Burkas next ????

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» RE: observer Posted by: colinmeister
» RE: observer Posted by: Aimleft
RE: Actually, I was planning on getting a burka
Posted by: Sister_Lauren on Jun 23, 2009 6:59 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
To wear in protest of France's religious prohibitions. Islam is a religion of peace.

I would have gotten one years ago, but I knew my neighbors would NOT understand. I already stand out too much for my religion. Wearing a burka isn't going to help, is it?

My mom has an expression too, "Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun." She would always say that when my dad would sunbathe out in the heat on a hot day.

She was right, he was crazy like that, he would wait until it was really, really hot, upper nineties. He said he liked the heat because growing up in San Francisco, it was never hot. They do think 82F is a hot day.

My mom likes English humor, I just think it is nutty. So, right back at ya!

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ARE YOU INSANE!!!
Posted by: Karlh on Jun 23, 2009 9:04 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Islam is a religion of peace the way the Iraq war was about WMD’s. Of the three vile Abrahamic faiths; Judaism, Christianity and Islam; Islam is the most vile.

As Sam Harris has noted if you took a yellow hi-lighter to the Koran with every passage that talked about killing the infidel, by the time you finished, just about the entire book would be yellow.

Maybe you would like living under Sharia law but I know quite a few people that prefer western secular democracy.

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» RE: ARE YOU INSANE!!! Posted by: Quannah
» RE: ARE YOU INSANE!!! Posted by: Karlh
» RE: ARE YOU INSANE!!! Posted by: Quannah
» RE: observer Posted by: Lilly
» RE: observer Posted by: wwittman
And Tomorrows Lead Article on Alternet Will Be About The Pleasures / Dangers of Eating Chocolate
Posted by: tony_opmoc on Jun 23, 2009 2:54 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
.

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the key to reducing teen pregnancies is being able to envision a good future
Posted by: Suzon on Jun 23, 2009 2:59 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Reducing teen pregnancies (and abortions) won't be achieved by dictat.

I do wonder, however, if some learning might not be taking place, despite the movement's desire to cling to its beliefs.

Human progress is slow but it happens. Optimism is more successful than pessimism.

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Bristol Palin Rules!
Posted by: dcande01 on Jun 23, 2009 3:46 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
If Bristol Palin and her family, not to mention that white trash father of her kid, are any example of the "purity" movement, we want to do everything possible to prevent these people from breeding.

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» RE: Bristol Palin Rules! Posted by: Jdog
» It's too late! Posted by: countingdaisies
Absinance Movement: Sexist -- and Homophobic, Too
Posted by: SkeeterVT1 on Jun 23, 2009 4:10 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Let's not forget that these abstinance-only-until-marriage advocates also oppose gays and lesbians getting married. Ergo, under these advocates's regime, gays and lesbians would either have to convert to heterosexuality (which is biologically and psychologically difficult, but not impossible) or remain sexually abstinent for life (which is biologically impossible, as the Catholic Church is learning the hard way with its priests).

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» RE: What is the goal? Posted by: wolfgangmo75
There's nothing wrong with abstinence.
Posted by: maxpayne on Jun 23, 2009 4:23 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Besides, kids these days need to pay attention to their actual studies and stop falling into the trap of clowning around and playing with sex in this dog-eat-dog world. That's not to say that I support the way some teachers improperly teach sex ed especially that guy in VA Beach being referred to.

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A finger in every pie
Posted by: Douglas_Wilson on Jun 23, 2009 4:28 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
As I read this, and as I read most of these "little squabble stories", I always look for a cause. Not what causes people to think as they do, or talk as they do, but how this group, or any group, was able to get into a position to be heard at all. What makes it possible. The cause always comes down to, we screwed up. We have a "national" funded Education system. That's causal. In a Republic this isn't supposed to exist. We screwed up when we forgot why we formed a republic. We have (had) a Republic because Democracies historically devolve into ideas, beliefs, bickering and in fighting. More laws needed. More legislation. More funding. Less funding. More interference. Less freedom. Bigger centralized governments and so on.

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» RE: A finger in every pie Posted by: cooper
» RE: A finger in every pie Posted by: buschthebearrefreshing
» RE: A finger in every pie Posted by: buschthebearrefreshing
There's nothing wrong with abstinence...
Posted by: jackpagan on Jun 23, 2009 4:28 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
"The good news...is President Obama's budget cutting most abstinence-only education funding. The bad news is that 25 percent of the $164 million marked for teen pregnancy prevention would be open to abstinence-only programs..."

What is wrong with this? Alternet is famous for missing the bigger picture and here they do it again. Sure abstinence doesn't work like these people wish it did but it works sometimes.

The safest way to avoid pregnancy and STDs is to not go out and have sex whenever you get the urge. Now, if you just gotta have sex then here's the safest way to go about it.

Progressive doesn't mean you leave all the ways of the past behind. Some of you people are so caught up in this movement you are becoming stupid and ignorant...just like those abstinence only conservatives.

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» Fear of Sex Posted by: terradea42
» RE: Fear of Sex Posted by: jackpagan
» RE: Fear of Sex Posted by: Arlene
Zealots building theocratic government in America
Posted by: Moonray on Jun 23, 2009 4:44 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
We liberals like to make fun of these morons, but they're winning. They are slowly but steadily imposing their weird fundamentalist beliefs on the rest of us. Even Obama kowtows to them; he allowed one to do Christian mumbo-jumbo at the inauguration. And he's funding those blatantly unconstitutional faith-based offices in the executive branch.

It's the power of numbers. There are always more ignorant and stupid voters than smart and knowledgeable ones. Other nations have ways of minimizing the impact of that sad fact, but in America it really shows.

Some states allow fundamentalist churches to operate in public schools on Sundays -- modern centers of learning turned over to Bronze Age superstition, with tax dollars footing the bill, as usual. Prison inmates and even juvenile offenders are coerced into "accepting Jesus," all with government approval. Church- related groups now even operate entire prisons, siphoning off huge amounts of tax dollars! Even our money and public buildings have primitive appeals to imaginary deities, all because a portion of our population is unable to deal with reality and our "democracy" allows this tyranny of ignorance to continue.

How to stop this? Stand up to the peddlers of superstition at every opportunity. Vote against their minions in government. Demand that tax breaks for religion be halted. And refuse to allow ignorance to rule your community.

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Responsible Hedonism
Posted by: smendler on Jun 23, 2009 4:45 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Somewhere between Puritanism and Libertinism, there is a point of view that would emphasize both the importance of pleasure and the importance of responsibility.

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» RE: esponsible Hedonism Posted by: jackpagan
» RE: esponsible Hedonism Posted by: Sister_Lauren
» "Responsible Hedonism" Posted by: SkeeterVT1
» Respnse From a Libertine Posted by: Libertine
The Bristol Palin Chastity Relief Fund?
Posted by: sausage on Jun 23, 2009 5:19 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
{: ?

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Strange People
Posted by: bobtr900 on Jun 23, 2009 5:20 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
As long as these people are killing/torturing for their ideology they're happy, even if it means killing their fellow Americans. They kill for their Big Business ideology. They kill for their Big Religion ideology.

Apropos of that, the Catholic Church(my religion) has been killing or hating others for Catholic theology throughout it's nearly 2000yr history. It started with women and Jews. It spread to Muslims and Protestants and even killing/hating other Catholics. Unfortunately, the Church has long ago decided that it is a political organization. The Church deeply hates being characterized as anything other than a religion. And yet, it plays in politics, in America and throughout the world, and has done so for many, many centuries. If it does not want to be characterized thusly it should get out of politics, just as Jesus said.

Methinks it uses these issues which divide humans and produce hate/death for the same reasons as the Rethuglikkan party does; for control, power and riches.

They all are a bunch of fearful people and out of their fears death arises.

Trying to change the direction of the Church and some of their brethren is like someone in a rowboat trying to change the direction of an ocean liner. Impossible!!!

None of them can accept that God created the world and everything in it to His wants; NOT, NOT, NOT to their wants.

He created the earth to revolve around the sun,. exactly as Galileo said. He created gays for His own good reasons, not for the popes reasons, and He did so without consulting the popes, can you imagine that, God didn't consult the popes. Oh perish the thought. But the popes always think they know/knew more than God. That's called the sin of PRIDE, setting ones self as equal to God in thought, word or deed. God did not create everyone in the popes image. He created everyone in His own image.

Sorry to all for waxing so religious, especially after what we have been put through for the last eight years, and even going all of the way back to the presidency of St. Reagan, Pope John Paul and Jerry Falwell. That is when all of this hate really started growing. Although it really began in the 60's, when blacks started protesting against their life experiences.

Jesus central message was one of peace, love, tolerance and "Do unto others...". These religious criminals claim to be Christians which means to be Christ like. But they all are nothing even in the least approaching Christ like.

It is all, just way far beyond disgusting!!! It's all quite amazing how the business Rethugs and the religious people have formed this bond of hate, death and destruction toward others. I often wonder if they told God about it.

All of this sounds to me like one awful big scam that they perpetrate in the name of God!!! With that going for them they cannot lose. They can do anything and kill anyone and get away with it because they do it for God. Their agenda of hate does not arise out of their own fears, hate, greed and endless need for power. The Repugs and their business community have a great huge scam going for them.

IOW, GE does what it does because God told them to do it. Tom Monaghan(founder of Dominos Pizza, Ave Maria School of Law, Ave Maria University and the Ave Maria Mutual Funds) does what he does because God told him to do it. Sarah Palin knows what to do because God told her what to do(gas pipeline) and who to kill(Iraqis) because God told her to do it. The popes knew/know who to hate, kill or torture(Muslims, Jews, women, Atheists, Muslims etc because God told them to do it.

Most wars are for economic reasons. But these Bush-Cheney-Pope(s)-Pat Robertson wars are due to economic reasons AND theocratic reasons. Thus begins the downfall of the Family of Man, Gods creation. All for greed and power.

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» RE: Strange People Posted by: Sister_Lauren
» RE: Strange People Posted by: babs
Eh, wot gov'nah?
Posted by: ABetterFuture on Jun 23, 2009 5:25 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Their body, their choice.

The right of privacy, found...er, 'found'...somewhere in the fourth amendment, tells us that it's ok to be wacky as long as you aren't hurting anyone.

I know its hard to see folks not accepting your paternalistic, conservative, "do as I tell you" mantras, but hey, sometimes you have to put down your righteous fatherly mantle and let folks live as they will.

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So it's wrong to teach abstinence?
Posted by: lisafrequency on Jun 23, 2009 5:58 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I for one am glad I taught my children to be abstinent even the boys. It is not impossible. It is not easy in this society where children are constantly exposed to and seduced by the media.

As far as I know abstinence is the one sure way to prevent pregnancy and STD. Of course parents would need to set the example and be involved with their children. The easiest way to tear down a society is by teaching their youth to waste their life force rather than use it.

There is no better or easier way to be exploited than thru ones sexuality. I explained to my children that their sexuality is the energy of their life force, who they are and, very precious and to be respected in themselves and in others not used and exploited.

People wrongly assume that the only way to express this energy is thru the sex act and are made weak by something that could make them strong. Read Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich". He has a very good example of how to use ones sexual energy for personal gain and the good of others.

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» How old yer kids? 5? 6? Posted by: sausage
» RE: How old yer kids? 5? 6? Posted by: lisafrequency
» RE: So it's wrong to teach abstinence? Posted by: Pintado_Petrel
The Mayflower at Madagascar
Posted by: zooeyhall on Jun 23, 2009 6:15 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It almost makes you wish the Mayflower would have made a mistake in navigation and ended up landing on Madagascar.

Any chance that England would take back the descendents of these people?

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Abstinence is a worthy goal
Posted by: Dayaan on Jun 23, 2009 7:26 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Why does feminism have to be linked with sexual promiscuity? I don't believe in the 'double-standard' but the idea that to get rid of the sexual double standard, girls and women need to become more promiscuous has led to an increase in teen abortions, pregnancies and std's. Why can't getting rid of the sexual double standard mean that boys and men need to remain abstinent until they are in a committed relationship (and the highest form of commitment is marriage)? Gays and lesbians aren't excluded from commitment just because the marriage laws haven't caught up with the biological facts of homosexuality.
Our society is caught up in an empty search for pleasure. Nothing is as sexually satisfying as being in a committed sexual relationship with someone who truly loves and respects you. When surveys are done here in America, the most sexually satisfied group is religious monogamous couples not sexually active singles.
There is no returning to the pre-AIDs 70's free-love culture. That experiment failed. 20% of the adult population in North America has herpes -- that's 1 in 5 people! Herpes is 'treatable' and you don't die from it, but it is with you for the rest of your life. As for AIDs, there are treatments but you can die from contracting AIDs and your quality of life is affected (sometimes severely) in the late stages of the disease.
People do need access to the truth:
(1) Marriage and commitment work best for mature adults who understand themselves very well and know what they want from life however humble or lofty.
(2) Children can grow up without both parents, but stability and loving, committed parents are ideal.
(3) Having sex for the first time does change you, but it does not make you an instant adult. If you are a teenager and you recognize that people in their 20's, 30's and 40's etc. seem different from you and your peers, then you have already recognized that people mature with age. The choices you make now affect how you will mature. Life-altering choices are best made when a person is mature.
(4) Abortion and adoption, as well as, keeping a child are all choices with different consequences. None of them are easy, but if the choice to have sex when you are young means that you have no possibility of keeping an unplanned child, then you are left with the first two options, both of which can leave you with pain and grief for the rest of your life. Men can feel grief when their child is aborted or given away for adoption. Why limit yourself to only painful choices?
(5)STD's are real and can be life-threatening or stay with a person for the rest of their life. Condoms are helpful but not 100% effective.
(6) Birth control is not 100% effective, but it can be a useful means to limit the number of pregnancies a woman has.

Is school the best place for a young person to learn about sexuality? ...
Have any studies been done to find out whether certain parenting techniques work best to prevent teenagers from contracting STDs and having unplanned pregnancies? Have any studies looked at both the parenting of girls and boys and whether applying the same standard to both works better than a laissez-faire 'boys-will-be-boys' attitude for the boys in combination with strict rules for the girls. My observation has been that when boys and girls in a given family have the same abstinence standards, both are more likely to follow the rules.
Don't rule out abstinence because it has been taught poorly by people who have a moral agenda. Sex isn't dirty and non-virgins aren't ruined; there is a place for sex (humans aren't animals) in life. People of faith should recognize that morality is not a rigid set of rules, instead the moral guidance from our creator is meant to provide a roadmap to a better, more fulfilling life.

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» Why? Posted by: Karlh
» Well Said! Posted by: Red State Gal
» RE: Abstinence is a worthy goal Posted by: Seranvali
Folks, this isn't about making good choices
Posted by: goeswithness on Jun 23, 2009 7:29 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Look at the whole phrase. The problem isn't abstinence - the problem is "abstinence ONLY." In case the readers are not getting the point, these programs ONLY tell kids "don't do it," and in order to try to impose this, they lie and emotionally manipulate. They don't teach them anything about what to do if they ARE going to have sex, because that isn't a choice that's on the table. Therefore when biology takes over, you get the babies because the kids aren't taught to think rationally about it and make plans. Planning to have sex is bad. The kids are taught nothing about managing a sex life when they have it, either before or after marriage.

It's been documented time and time again that they give inaccurate information and they make sex seem like a scary and bad thing. Do you want your daughter to think she's anwrapped, ruined sucker? And ultimately the worst thing is that these attitudes aren't going to go away with a wedding ring - how many adults are going to come away with this kind of education never fully able to enjoy a guilt-free, joyful sex life? As a society, I can guarantee we're going to suffer for it.

I'm a product of the old system in the 70s - full education, but of course the first word was, and should be, don't do what you're not ready for, don't let yourself be pressured. But when you ARE ready...

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Beware America's Republican Mullahs
Posted by: Sister_Lauren on Jun 23, 2009 9:01 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Beware America's Republican Mullahs

Yet if the Republican/Religious Right/Neoconservative agenda had come to full fruition over the last 35 years the Republicans would have plunged America into our own version of the misbegotten theocracy destroying Iran today. I know. As a former Religious Right leader I worked to make America "safe" for "Christian values" and dangerous to everyone else. Thankfully I, and those like me, failed.

I would like to suggest his team didn't fail as much as he says they did. Is he trying to back pedal the whole group by discrediting their successes now that the cultural winds of change are whispering 'ethnic cleansing' and 'the justifying of rape and torture' in his ear?

He doesn't want to be considered criminally involved.

All his what if stuff already happened, it was the Bush administration. Wasn't he noticing? I guess not!

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Makes sense
Posted by: aaweeble1 on Jun 23, 2009 9:04 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
You have to admit, it is logical

Riff
Absolute Anonymity

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» RE: Makes sense Posted by: babs
"I pledge my Pussy to My Mommy & Daddy"
Posted by: BlueBerry PickN on Jun 23, 2009 9:42 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
yeah,

that's healthy.

damn, but there is something wrong with these people.


perspective, people.


Perspective.

The Jeff Farias Show: streams FREE & LIVE Mon-Fri, 6-9pmEDT

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"... tolerance of intolerance is cowardice..." ~ Ayaan Hirsi Ali.
"We, two, form a Multitude" ~ Ovid.

"Violence can only be concealed by a Lie, & the Lie can only be maintained by Violence." ... "Any man, who has once proclaimed Violence as his Method, is inevitably forced to take the Lie as his Principle" – Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." - Voltaire.

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The fact is... Abstinence Only DOESN'T WORK!
Posted by: Quannah on Jun 23, 2009 10:24 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
So, now, you have all these hormone-saturated teens being told their natural sexual urges are SINFUL! and they are BAD if they act on them.

So, in order to fulfill their "purity pledges" and not have vaginal sex, they have figured out that oral and anal sex will preserve their "virginity," so they continue to work this sick and twisted "system" their religious leaders have concocted. It's absurd.

Make no mistake, these kids are engaging in sexual activity. They are still susceptible to STDs. Maybe it will prevent pregnancy, but it doesn't mean they aren't having sex!

Ignorance on the part of these parents and their religious leaders is remarkable. But my guess is they are seeing what they want to see, and ignoring the fact that what they are requiring of their children is ridiculous.

What responsible parent would not arm their children with THE TRUTH about human sexuality and reproduction?

If ignorance is bliss, these people must be the happiest on earth!

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Worshipping at the altar of ...........
Posted by: edieb on Jun 23, 2009 10:37 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
one's virginity must end! In the '60s, and as far back as religion has done the thinking for humanity, girls have had it drummed into their heads that they must be virgins; or, no decent man would have them. I, for instance, was the only 17 year old virgin I knew; not because I was more pure in thought, I was just more brainwashed than others!

I made sure my daughter was armed with information; as all girls, and boys, should be!

This preoccupation with what young women are doing with their genitals is DISGUSTING!

If these creeps would talk frankly with their children, rather than protecting themselves, there would be far fewer divorces and abortions; and, fewer lives wasted trying to live up to some imagined unattainable purity!

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Control and stopping free-thought
Posted by: frantic1971 on Jun 23, 2009 11:02 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
With these religious fundie types, everything is about control and stopping any questioning or free thought.

Young people are perceived as a DANGER to these fundie moms and dads.

Their children are becoming adults, and entering that time of life when humans start exerting independence and thinking for themselves.

Sexual experience and learning is truly a liberating experience, and what better time to experience it then when you are young.

The fundie parents know this, and they also know that it is the first step to these young people questioning ALL authority. The mere thought of that gives these fundie/abstinance proponents a bad case of spastic colon.

As a kid, I had the experience of knowing some of these fundie families. Relationships in the family are very much built on the idea of the father as an Old Testament patriarch with absolute authority.

The moms are all instilled with the idea that a wife's place is two steps behind and one to the right of the man of the family.

These people are nothing but child abusers, cynically pushing a sick, twisted philosophy that's no different then you find in North Korea or in Hitler's Germany.

These abstinance freaks are no better then cult leaders. Pushing a cult philosophy that poisons the minds of one of the most valuable segments of society---our young people.

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headline has it tactically wrong
Posted by: kenhymes on Jun 23, 2009 11:57 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Whatever the author's feelings about this may be (hard to be sure from the piece), the headline has it tactically wrong. Progressives should do absolutely nothing about this except in their own communities and with their own kids. The "abstinence" or "virginity" movenment or whatever you want to call it is fighting a losing battle with reason and cultural change, and should be left to be foolish to finish itself off. For progressives to seek out this issue in a national way would be tactically unwise... oh yeah, let's wade in to this swamp and be characterized as in favor of underage girls having sex. The nuance of the arguments against this "movement" would be lost, and those nuanced arguments are already operating in the minds of most parents and educators. Despite their success in planting themselves in certain towns and schools, and in getting publiicity nationally, the abstinence movement is not terribly influential either on policy or behavior, particularly now that the GOP is out of power. Let it go. Tell your kids the truth, and be a civil and compassionate advocate at your kids' schools. That's all that is necessary to end this nonsense.

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Oh come on...
Posted by: Pirate1 on Jun 23, 2009 1:38 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Abstinence becomes stupid when you make it the only option. If these people want to believe that sex is a dirty necessity that you only do in marriage for procreation, is a sin to enjoy or experience more than one example of, fine. It's their choice and their loss. They'll never know what they're missing. Just don't go making it the law of the land and and denying foreign aid, etc to countries that recommend condoms, BC pills and other contraception and disease prevention methods.

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I Pray to God the Holy Father to Stop
Posted by: johnbradleycopeland on Jun 23, 2009 2:30 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
these fools from spending my tax dollars on lies and deceit! The Focus on the Family Empire of the Dobsonites, The KKK Baptist Convention of the South, The Christian Coalitionism of Washington DC, The Catholic League of The Pope of Rome, The American Family Association of Boycotters and like and similar officialdoms of The American Taliban all need to be taxed and shunned by We the People who have no interst in stupidity and ignorance !! May they all burn in their eternal Hell for their prejudices!!!! Burn Baby Burn!!

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Christians have hijacked the idea.....
Posted by: MotherLodeBeth on Jun 23, 2009 3:24 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
As an open minded and alas progressive thinking person I am unhappy that its the 'Christian' or conservative religious folks who have hijacked the idea of not having sex as a teen ager. The reason I say this, is because we have young people in our family who are certainly self sexual, but because they have serious long term goals and self confidence and self esteem they don't have the fears that many teen agers have that alas leads to early sex.

Both the males and females are active in sports and intellectual pursuits that challenge them. Various studies have shown that young women who are involved in sports, put off sex for at least a couple years. And most of these young women seem to be secular.

Its not corny for a young person to not want to be sexually active. Why doesn't the progressive media ever discuss this?

Where the religious crowd gets it wrong is they use scare tactics, which are like pushing myths. Young people once they find out you have lied are much less to trust or believe you the next time.

As the mother of sons we taught them medical facts from birth. We didn't use 'cute' names for body parts. And we noted that sexual pleasure when we found them masturbating as nine year olds, was normal but something private. And by age eight they knew the facts of life, which included the mental or psychological aspects of sex as well as the legal ramifications.

Like DNA testing could prove fatherhood and thus 21 years of child support. Thus they knew self pleasure was far cheaper and more ethical than using some female for gratification.

Since our boys had long term goals which included university and owning a home etc, they were well into their twenties before they had sex with someone else. And by then they also understood the serious emotional aspect of sex.

As harsh as it sounds, its easy to get rid of an unwanted pregnancy. Its much harder to ever get rid of the bad feelings the day after using someone for selfish reasons.

Its not about denying oneself pleasure its about preventing regret. Something that some of us secular thinkers believe in.

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» RE: Christians have hijacked the idea..... Posted by: theblackgeorgecarlin
Obvious solution: masturbation and vibrators
Posted by: billwald on Jun 23, 2009 6:14 PM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The goal is the climax, not placing part of one's body inside another person's body cavity.

The ONE thing that the Woman's Lib got right is that rape is NOT a sex crime but a power play. Woman have other ways to turn the sex act into a power play.

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Obvious solution: masturbation and vibrators
Posted by: billwald on Jun 23, 2009 6:14 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The goal is the climax, not placing part of one's body inside another person's body cavity.

The ONE thing that the Woman's Lib got right is that rape is NOT a sex crime but a power play. Woman have other ways to turn the sex act into a power play.

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Virginal Dominion
Posted by: philosimphy on Jun 23, 2009 10:44 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This virginity stuff is a component of Dominionism.

"Dominionism describes, in several distinct ways, a tendency among some conservative politically-active Christians, especially in the United States of America, to seek influence or control over secular civil government through political action—aiming either at a nation governed by Christians, or a nation governed by a conservative Christian understanding of biblical law. The use and application of this terminology is a matter of controversy."

- from wiki

Some typical Dominionist sites

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» RE: Virginal Dominion Posted by: TheNamelessCity
Wow
Posted by: lalala on Jun 24, 2009 12:07 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I cannot believe they actually try to make a brick better than a condom. No wonder all these republican wack jobs have great grandchildren.

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Jonas Brothers Mom defends their abstinence
Posted by: lalala on Jun 24, 2009 12:10 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Did you see that clip? Their mom said that they were abstinent because she didnt want them spreading their stds around.

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I think the virginity movement
Posted by: Perry Logan on Jun 24, 2009 2:45 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
is screwed.

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Focus!
Posted by: fmcevoy on Jun 24, 2009 6:26 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I think one assumption in error is that the teenagers are the focus of the abstinence-only ideas. Not so. It's the parents. They see the culture awash with sex and they know they're powerless to do much of anything. Abstinence-only is the way.

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I Remember
Posted by: theblackgeorgecarlin on Jun 24, 2009 11:26 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
In my Home Ec class in high school, I remember the videos they would show us, that try to scare us into abstinence and blaming women, and even then I knew it was stupid and wasn't working. Thanks to this article for confirming what I and most people with common sense knew was true:abstinence only doesn't work,give them condoms, teach them masturbation is okay,that both boys and girls must be responsible, and you don't want kids at 16.

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Encourage teens to abstain...
Posted by: p.ray on Jun 27, 2009 8:36 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
... from engaging in unprotected sex with right-wing, fundie, whackadoodle, hypocrites - problem solved (in one generation or less)!

Phala
Whys=Wise

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I would have liked more info on both abstinence and contraception....
Posted by: blinkaway on Jun 27, 2009 7:56 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
No, it's not wrong to teach abstinence, but it's wrong to NOT effectively teach contraception and safe sexual behavior as well. Imagine teachers telling your kids that they should ONLY have sex and never say no to it. That feeling your getting from that statement? Well abstinence only education comes out as NEVER have sex. EVER. Just as bad as the first statement. Denying your sexuality is denying an important aspect of yourself, identity, and humanity.

Reflecting on my ninth grade year (only 4 years ago), I can remember a lot of abstinence information but not enough about how to effectively use birth control. Mentioning condoms is not enough! Effectively teaching abstinence and contraception methods is a good start. Frankly, there are also needs to be a component of sex ed that focuses on sexual well being in regard to the emotional and mental components of sex. Kids also need to be informed about the definition of rape and sexual assault and the consequences for the victim. Most of the time kids are taught that "rape is bad. tell a trusted adult if it happens." What the hell does that really do? Nothing honestly. Anyway...

Kids, when equipped with a lot of trustworthy and factual information and access to communicative and mature teachers, are smart enough to understand sex and how to make intelligent decisions for themselves and their partners if they choose to engage in sexual activity. It seems like sex ed is more of a method to stigmatize sex of any kind and freak teenagers out about their own bodies instead of giving them intelligent information to decide for THEMSELVES how and what to do with their bodies. Parents and teachers do need to be positively involved but shouldn't be traumatizing their kids into thinking sex is wicked and their bodies are dangerous etc.

Most of my sex education came from my parents, my own research via textbooks and websites like scarleteen (postive-minded and thankfully trustworthy website for teenagers http://www.scarleteen.com/), and friends that had different sexual experiences.

Regardless, kids and teenagers NEED to know their options and then openly discuss their sentiments with their parents and teachers. From there, different families can set certain expectations. But seriously, don't force your family values on me in a public school that my parents also pay their taxes for...........

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Abstinence can be empowering and healthy for women
Posted by: Malacandra on Jul 4, 2009 7:18 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
All this talk about the almighty birth-control pill and perfect condom really annoys me. First, I must say I do not condone some abstinence-educators' means of teaching, by spreading mis-information and fear tactics. On the other hand, I oppose the way many sex educators claim that using the condom or pill is a miraculous solution to all our social problems.

The main point I want to make is that women should be encouraged and educated to take control of their own bodies and their fertility. Choosing abstinence can be one of many ways for a woman to do so. Learning about natural birth control, following her fertility cycles, cervical and mucousal changes, the benefits of lactational ammenhorea - these should also be taught in both abstinence-based as well as "progressive" sex-ed classes. I find it a shame that I never learned the techniques of Natural Family Planning until I was in my 30s! Women should learn that there are alternatives to unnaturally manipulating their hormone levels. And be honest - condoms do not always protect from all STDs.

We need a balance. Hormonal birth control has real risks - increased cancer or heart-attack rates, environmental effects from excess hormones in our sanitation system (ie. women piss out the excess hormones and it deforms the wildlife), and who knows what future harm we are doing to our children and grandchildren after the hormonal manipulation of our own bodies?

We need to look at sex and sexuality as a wonderful part of life, creation, and expression - not just a quick-fix to get off when we're horny. Do you really think women are better off by having a "freer" sexuality, as flaunted half-naked sexual playthings in rap videos and action movies, strip-clubs and escort services? Do women feel more empowered after a one-night stand with a guy she met in a bar, because she had an hour of fun but was basically used by someone who wanted to get off and was attracted to her superficial features alone? Sounds like the men are the ones benefitting here, folks.

Abstinence is truly possible for those who commit to it. Most people are too self-centered to delay gratification for several days, months, or even years, but for those who have, it is a joy that so many of you will never experience.

Enjoy your multiple partners and your empty, "free" sex. I'm going to enjoy my marriage and its fulfilling love-making, my kids who are fully informed about ALL aspects of sexuality including the emotional ones, and my amazing life that I chose for myself, because I am empowered and I enjoy my own body on my own terms. Not yours!

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