Coitus Interruptus Erroneous: Would You Believe That Pulling Out Actually Works?

By Andy Wright, AlterNet. Posted June 22, 2009.

If men are carefree boys, releasing their force wherever they please, where does that leave women? With a lot of responsibility. D'Emilio points out that after the pill arrived on the scene, "...using something that depends on the guy when you can use something that depends on you really gives withdrawal a bad name." He's right. The burden of not getting knocked up, even today, rests mostly on the one whose getting fertilized. Add this to the belief that pulling out doesn't work and you've got a quick and easy recipe for guilt. In Jone's study, interviewees who use withdrawal nearly ooze contrition. One female who says she uses the method amends her admission with, "...Which I know is, like, the worst thing." Jones explains the apologetic, embarrassed tone this way: "We're told 'If you don't want to get pregnant, you have to use an effective method.' People think it doesn't do any good so they're kind of embarrassed...on one hand they're acknowledging that 'I don't want to get pregnant and I'm relying on this ineffective method that's kind of irresponsible of me'."

In light of the stigma attached to pulling out, why does anyone even bother? "They don't have condoms on hand all the time," surmises Jones, "A lot of women don't like hormonal contraception or can't take it...or they don't like the side-effects, or they have problems trying to take the pill every day or going in to get their ring or their patch prescription refilled." Some people also use the pull out method because they don't have access to other kinds of birth control or for religious reasons. Also, as Jones points out, "A lot of females don't like condoms; a lot of men don't like condoms." And therein lies the rub. Combine the burden of not getting pregnant (irresponsible!) with the suspicion that a woman is using the pull out method because it feels good (slutty!) and you may have uncovered one of the reasons we still tell everyone that withdrawal doesn't work. Instead of absorbing "beneficial prostatic fluids," now women just absorb shame.

When Leeuwenhoek looked into his microscope and saw veins and capillaries, he saw what he wanted to see. He had the big picture at hand (or as big a picture a smudge of seminal fluid can paint) but when he looked closer, he interpreted it through a lens that favored the procreative potential of men over women.

Today, we are armed with a lot more information than the microscope savant, but still see what we want to see. Withdrawal doesn't protect against STIs, making it less than ideal for the one night stand. It can spell disaster for the sexually inexperienced. But it can be a great option for long term couples or people who don't have access to, can't use other forms of birth control, or just don't like to.

And some of all these people, whether health providers, parents, or teachers approve, will use it. Shouldn't they know how it works? Under the microscope, we look at withdrawal and see cave-men and floozies instead of people trying to make choices about how not to have a baby.  Leeuwenhoek wrote in a letter two years after his "discovery" that, "I well remember that before now I wrote similar things...about strings lying intertwined in sperm, an opinion that I now unconditionally reject, having found that this intertwining was merely accidental." Health educators, providers and researchers should take a page out of Leeuwenhoek's letter and admit that withdrawal deserves a second look, and that the reason for its bad reputation might have more to do with the lens than the evidence underneath it.

See more stories tagged with: sex, gender, women, teens, men, withdrawal, relationships, sexuality, stis, casual sex, pulling out, one night stand

Andy Wright is a freelance writer in San Francisco. Her work has been published in the SF Weekly and Mother Jones online.

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