The Mind-Boggling Variety of Sexual Experience

By Liz Langley, Liz Langley's Blog. Posted June 17, 2009.

“One Rape to Go, Please” describes Tracie Egan’s adventure in paying someone to fulfill her rape fantasy, which was a scary one for me to read even though I know it was a fantasy (I’m a suspicious and jumpy person who once nearly decked a theme park character who surprised me with a touch on the arm). Egan’s show of power in engaging such role play was surprising enough but the final sublime twist would be unbelievable if it wasn’t totally true. “An Open Letter to the Bush Administration” by Mistress Morgana Maye finds the dominatrix lamenting how her business has suffered since EVERYONE feels bullied by the Bushes already. Reading it after having waded comfortably into the soothing pool of a new administration makes one almost dizzy with relief that that’s all in the Before-Time.

You know how you watch those Blue Planet shows and are thrilled and open-mouthed at the variety of life on the ocean floor? You get to feeling this way about the sex lives of everyone in the world when you get a glimpse of how varied other people’s concerns are.

If you have never considered, for example, the rocky terrain of STD-specific dating websites (“Searching for Normal: Do Dating Websites for People with STIs Liberat or Quarantine?” by Lynn Harris), the ability of people to have orgasms even after devastating spinal chord injuries (“The Immaculate Orgasm: Who Needs Genitals?” by Mary Roach) or the effect of combat stress on sexual function (“Sexual Problems: A Common Side Effect of PTSD,” by Dan Vaughn) now’s your chance. Other standouts include the hair-tearing frustration of not understanding a mysterious sexual term you have never heard of and don’t want to ask about (“Silver Balling” by Stacey D’Erasmo) and a treatise on virginity pledges that actually had cynical, try-before-you-buy advocate me thinking “Oh, well, that’s her choice then,” in a way I’d never have guessed I would (“Father Knows Best” by Amanda Robb).

That’s exactly what’s so great about BSR 2009 – as full as it is of excellent reportage and beautiful writing it’ll also be challenging for many readers who might find their views softened, broadened and more dynamically colored for having read it.

It is true. I do enjoy the research.

See more stories tagged with: sex, relationships, sexuality, fantasy, sex writing

Liz Langley is a freelance writer in Orlando, FL.

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