Hey Miss California, How Does God Feel About Fake Breasts?

By Sheldon Filger, Huffington Post. Posted May 11, 2009.

Maybe I'm just Miss California dreaming, but it seems to me that Carrie Prejean is afflicted with a terminal case of breast envy. Just as some men may feel inadequate if they perceive a certain part of their anatomy doesn't "measure up," it could be that the actions, thoughts and words of the 21 year old beauty queen and runner up at the Miss USA pageant are merely a disguise for her own sense of not "measuring up" to her beauty queen peers in the natural state God endowed her with.

There is a reason why I inserted God into this narrative. The whole premise of Ms. Prejean's political antics has been predicated on the claim that she is a devout, Bible-believing Christian woman and her outspoken posture on the issue of same sex-marriage is an act of pious conscience. Whether or not I agree with Carrie Prejean's decision to place her celebrity persona in the service of the anti-Gay marriage organization known as the National Organization for Marriage, I could respect her decision if it was based on consistency. However, it strikes me that this devout Bible-believing Christian woman missed one verse in the Bible, no doubt unintentionally. Allow me to quote from Chapter 4, Verse 5 of the Song of Solomon: "Thy two breasts are like young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies."

If you are a conservative Christian who believes that the entire Bible, chapter and verse, is the inalterable word of God almighty, then it appears clear that God thought female breasts were quite important, or otherwise the Lord of the universe would not have bothered to reveal what is essentially an erotic ode to the bosoms of women. My interpretation of this biblical verse is that God thought breasts as they exist on each woman are beautiful, "like young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies." And for the record, young roes are somewhat on the small size.

So, it is obvious that God adores female breasts (kind of like me, or maybe it is vice versa). But more importantly, God created female breasts, along with everything else in the universe. So the essence of that verse from the Song of Solomon is that God thought his creation of the bosoms of women was perfection. Furthermore, it is a principal of conservative Christians such as Carrie Prejean that everything God created in its natural state is perfect and should never be altered, such as the institution of marriage being solely a union for a man and a woman. So Ms. Prejean, what about hiring a cosmetic surgeon to alter your breasts, and undo God's perfect creation?

According to Keith Lewis, the co-Director of the Miss California Pageant, Carrie Prejean approached his organization, and they acceded to her request to arrange the surgical insertion of implants into her breasts, so that she would be more "competitive" as she came to blows with her rival beauty queens. This may be calculating and even cynical, but is hardly a reflection of Christian values, unless I'm missing something Ms. Prejean is more attuned to.

Statistics from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery indicate that in an average year, more than 300,000 American women have their breasts surgically enlarged. As someone who has been involved in extensive fine art photography of the female nude, this strikes me as tragic. Medical science confirms what my own eyes have observed; 60% of women in the United States have breasts that fit into bras with an A or B cup. Most breasts at maturity are of modest or small size, and historically most artists have preferred female models with bosoms on the small size as the ideal manifestation of feminine beauty.

In my book on the aesthetics of female sensuality, entitled Erotic Book, I explored the reasons why so many women have been seduced into believing that external perceptions of their state of beauty and feminine allure are solely determined by the quantity of fatty tissue contained within their mammary glands. Not only is size the least important aesthetic component of breasts; the consequences of surgical implants have often led to dire results for women.

In my opinion, Carrie Prejean did not set a sterling example by succumbing to superficial and vulgar definitions of feminine beauty and going the implant route, in a crass attempt to win a contest based on factors that have nothing to do with her character or innate human qualities. For that reason, her awkward attempt to now transition from the woman with the implants to a virtuous moral crusader lacks all credibility. A veneer of pseudo-Christian hypocrisy will not camouflage Ms. Prejean's vapid breast obsession, no matter how tightly she wraps herself with it.

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