Are Male Fantasies of "Girl-on-Girl" Action Messing with Women's Sexuality?

By Simcha , The Frisky. Posted January 25, 2009.

Amity Pierce Buxton runs a support group for spouses spurned by their partner's realization that they're gay.  According to her estimate in Details, 30% of the phone calls she receives are from men.  However, they face an extreme amount of shame because of the pervasive lesbian fantasy seen all over the media -- like the steamy letters in Penthouse‘s "Forums", bisexual darling Lindsay Lohan, and reality show whore Tila Tequila. These men thought their fantasy would go the way Katy Perry tells it -- she kissed a girl, liked it, but then immediately ran back to her boyfriend. But as they found out, that's not always the case.

In the Details article "Jason," 30, a marketing executive, considered the time he was invited to watch two women have sex to be the best time of his life. He hoped the woman he wanted to marry would be willing and able to show her affection for him by being open to having sex with another woman.  In her attempts to satiate his dream, his girlfriend went through with a lesbian encounter, but she hasn't been able to recover from the experience, in which she felt she was a pawn, and the couple is now in therapy.  She felt manipulated, pressured into something that's become a norm, but just simply wasn't her cup of tea.  Now the status quo seems to be telling women that they're weird if they don't want to hook up with another woman. The freedom to express same sex sexual desires openly has been perverted and you must be an uptight prude if you don't want to fondle another girl solely for a man's pleasure! 

On the other hand, I am willing to bet that it would seem preposterous to the vast majority of men who are willing to ask the girlfriends and wives to go gay for them, if the shoe was on the other foot and their girlfriends asked for some guy-on-guy action. So why is it that we women cave for male attention? Do we have to stick to our sexual guns (no pun intended) or do we have to devalue sex acts and be cavalier about gender in order for the sexual revolution to truly equalize things?  As we're barraged by seductive images and openness about orientation, we must learn that the lesson here is there is no sexual standard. There are so many options, kinks, twists, and nuances to every kind of human relationship, and sex is no different. It's all a matter of personality and we have to write sexuality on that list of essential items of self-discovery. It's silly to treat sexuality as a mere trend or publicity stunt. We have to listen to ourselves and march to the beat of our own desire drummer.

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