SEX & RELATIONSHIPS  
comments_imageCOMMENTS: 9

Why Is Everyone So Obsessed With Women's Virginity?

The hymen is useless, vestigial tissue. Yet this little piece of membrane has taken on huge societal, religious and moral significance.
December 18, 2008  |  
 
 
LIKE THIS ARTICLE ?
Join our mailing list:

Sign up to stay up to date on the latest Sex & Relationships headlines via email.

 
 
Advertisement
 

So much fuss over a little flap of skin. I mean, really. Especially given most scientists aren't sure why it even still exists. Some believe it's there to protect our vaginas from infection but our happy place seems to do fine once we lose it. But most research believes that the hymen is vestigial tissue, that is, tissue that possibly once had a function in a different evolutionary stage but has since become redundant, much like our appendix.

Yet no one gets killed for having removed her appendix removed before getting married. Yes, despite its physical redundancy, this little piece of membrane has taken on huge societal, religious and moral significance.

Virgins didn't always have a reputation as the meek, innocent, babes in white-flowing dresses the word conjures up today. There was a point when virgins were actually seen as powerful and virginity signified female independence and autonomy more than sexual abstinence. Many Greek Goddesses were Virgin Goddesses and were seen as all powerful because they were autonomous and didn't need a man. Much like the Fertility Goddesses of the past, Virgin Goddesses were believed to have control over crops, animals and weather. Back in the 1st century, the Romans believed virgins could turn wine to vinegar and could blunt knives and rust brass. And in one of the more bizarre bits of research I've encountered, thieves in Medieval Russia believed that if they carried a candle made of the tallow – that is, the fat – of a murdered virgin, when they pillaged churches, they wouldn't get caught.

I'm not exactly sure where one gets the fat of a murdered virgin but this sense that virgins protect you isn't so ancient. The belief that sex with a virgin will protect you from HIV is prevalent in parts of Africa where AIDS is rampant. Frighteningly, this has resulted in the rape of young girls and even female babies by people who believe that having sex with a virgin will cure them of AIDS.

So when did virginity go from something that could blunt knives to something precious that young women must "save" for marriage? Researchers credit the shift from a hunting and gathering to an agricultural-based patriarchal society. Once men owned property that they could pass on to sons, it became very important to make sure you knew your wife's kids were your own. By ensuring she was a virgin when you married her, you could be more certain that her kids were yours. And if you look around the world even today, the more patriarchal a society, the more value that is usually placed on virginity.

Religion, as usual, is also largely to blame. By the time the most famous Virgin came around – the Virgin Mary, very popular at this time of year -- there was so much negative press around sexuality that really, how could the mother of Jesus be anything but virginal. A story about how Mary was sleeping around on Joseph and got pregnant with the saviour of the world wouldn't exactly be the stuff of Christmas Eve sermons now would it? But most girls couldn't use the Holy Spirit as an alibi so, rather than risk pregnancy out of wedlock, they had to wait until marriage to have sex.

Once virginity was established as a requirement for marriage, proving a young girl's virginity became de rigueur. Checking the sheets after the wedding night for bloodstains has always been the popular method, one that is still practiced even today, despite the fact that plenty of women don't even bleed the first time they have sex.

And yes, as mentioned above, in some cultures, proof a girl isn't a virgin at marriage is reason enough to kill her. Even today, thousands of girls in the Middle East and Asia die every year because of what are called "honour killings."

It's no wonder that, with these kinds of stakes, there have been as many ways to fake one's virginity throughout history as there have been ways to prove it. Like taking the bladder of a fish, filling it with pig's blood and pop it in your vagina before the big night so that it would burst when you had sex. And today, there are doctors who will actually reconstruct a girl's hymen. The practice is called hymenorraphy and, in some cultures, it is done using sheep's membrane while others use catgut to stretch across a young woman's vagina. Occasionally, they will pop in a gelatin capsule full of blood-like liquid that is meant to burst when the girl has intercourse.

Like I said, so much fuss over a little flap of skin. Imagine if male virginity was under the same scrutiny and boys were constantly preached at to save themselves for marriage. And how would they prove it?
 


Email
Print
Share
Post on reddit
Post on stumbleupon
Post on facebook
Post on digg
Post on twitter
Post on delicious
LIKED THIS ARTICLE? JOIN OUR EMAIL LIST
Stay up to date with the latest Sex & Relationships headlines via email
See more stories tagged with: religion, women, sexism, sexuality, hymen, virginity


Comments are closed-

The Silent Conservative Majority
Posted by: dean0232 on Dec 19, 2008 5:31 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
There are still Virgins? What's that?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]


Comments are closed-

a big issue about a little tissue
Posted by: chloelin on Dec 20, 2008 6:32 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I'm sure you really know the historical origins of virginity. It's died a natural death in Britain, where I live, and is dying even in the Philippines, where I often visit. Contraception has meant the end of virginity anywhere it was available and affordable, and where there were no fundamentalist Christians with loud-hailers.
What puzzles me is why we women don't have our maidenhead removed by the simplest of surgical operations, rather than torn by a blunt instrument wielded by a boy.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]


Comments are closed-

May be Vestigial Tissue
Posted by: autumneve on Dec 22, 2008 1:19 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Hymen may have a protective function for the vagina or ovaduct until the hormones of reproduction provide a supply of lubrication. A lot of female animals, horses, cows, and poultry, have hymen at the opening of the reproductive track. Often this tissue is disappears at the onset of ovulation. In turkeys and chickens this tissue completely covers the opening to ovaduct and the female will "break out" and start laying eggs with in two weeks.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]


Comments are closed-

Simple, single women can sometimes get too dressy.
Posted by: maxpayne on Dec 22, 2008 8:18 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Usually married women don't go making a big deal about dressing sexy compared to the single women that do. That doesn't mean I haven't seen married women dressed sexier than single women but I noticed the trends all too often. Personally, I could care less how my wife dresses as long as she is happy and healthy.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]


Comments are closed-

I truly believe.....
Posted by: alexalexa on Dec 22, 2008 10:39 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
That one day, our bodies will belong to us, and not the state, and not the church.

FYI- I am a man. Until a woman can control her own uterus and reproductive system, NONE of us are free.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» I agree! Posted by: texasrodeoqueen

Comments are closed-

Promise rings for boys
Posted by: TruDat on Dec 22, 2008 1:44 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This is a great story. It puts together a lot of thoughts and questions people often have. Even as we consider our own country modern, there are far too many who are still in the dark ages about this issue.

Men made all the rules of marriage and chastity, so they of course do not place themselves under any scrutiny. I have not heard of "Chastity Balls" where mothers dance with their sons in tuxedoes, to celebrate their virginity-til-marriage. Do boys wear "promise rings" to promise their parents they will stay virgins until marriage? Nope. Just the girls.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]


Comments are closed-

I'm wondering...
Posted by: joshstrike on Jan 1, 2009 3:25 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This is cool and true and I couldn't agree more... but as a new Alternet member, I'm wondering...
Has anyone here in the sex & relationships forum ever asked these questions of the Islamic fundamentalists over in the "Human Rights" forum who are pretending to be liberals?
It drives me nuts, as someone who's been a pro-choice, absolute equality campaigner my whole life, that somehow this stuff all goes out the window when talking about the places where lack of virginity isn't just a cause for vilification; it's actually a legal reason for death or dismemberment.
I'm basically wondering how you guys can sit here agreeing with this while the rest of Alternet is up in arms over the Israeli retaliation against Gaza...a state where Hamas wants to initiate sharia law and stone women to death for not wearing the proper attire.

It seems to me that the liberalism, libertinism and general liberation from conformist '50s standards, the revolution I knew and grew up with -- exactly what's reflected in this article -- is being hijacked by something completely anti-liberal, namely, radical islam masquerading as victimhood. I'm curious how you manage to reconcile it, writing articles here alongside what this site has come to stand for. Are they just leaving you alone for now?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Alternet Comments:

Comments are closed-

The Silent Conservative Majority
Posted by: dean0232 on Dec 19, 2008 5:31 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
There are still Virgins? What's that?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]


Comments are closed-

a big issue about a little tissue
Posted by: chloelin on Dec 20, 2008 6:32 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I'm sure you really know the historical origins of virginity. It's died a natural death in Britain, where I live, and is dying even in the Philippines, where I often visit. Contraception has meant the end of virginity anywhere it was available and affordable, and where there were no fundamentalist Christians with loud-hailers.
What puzzles me is why we women don't have our maidenhead removed by the simplest of surgical operations, rather than torn by a blunt instrument wielded by a boy.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]


Comments are closed-

May be Vestigial Tissue
Posted by: autumneve on Dec 22, 2008 1:19 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Hymen may have a protective function for the vagina or ovaduct until the hormones of reproduction provide a supply of lubrication. A lot of female animals, horses, cows, and poultry, have hymen at the opening of the reproductive track. Often this tissue is disappears at the onset of ovulation. In turkeys and chickens this tissue completely covers the opening to ovaduct and the female will "break out" and start laying eggs with in two weeks.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]


Comments are closed-

Simple, single women can sometimes get too dressy.
Posted by: maxpayne on Dec 22, 2008 8:18 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Usually married women don't go making a big deal about dressing sexy compared to the single women that do. That doesn't mean I haven't seen married women dressed sexier than single women but I noticed the trends all too often. Personally, I could care less how my wife dresses as long as she is happy and healthy.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]


Comments are closed-

I truly believe.....
Posted by: alexalexa on Dec 22, 2008 10:39 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
That one day, our bodies will belong to us, and not the state, and not the church.

FYI- I am a man. Until a woman can control her own uterus and reproductive system, NONE of us are free.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» I agree! Posted by: texasrodeoqueen

Comments are closed-

Promise rings for boys
Posted by: TruDat on Dec 22, 2008 1:44 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This is a great story. It puts together a lot of thoughts and questions people often have. Even as we consider our own country modern, there are far too many who are still in the dark ages about this issue.

Men made all the rules of marriage and chastity, so they of course do not place themselves under any scrutiny. I have not heard of "Chastity Balls" where mothers dance with their sons in tuxedoes, to celebrate their virginity-til-marriage. Do boys wear "promise rings" to promise their parents they will stay virgins until marriage? Nope. Just the girls.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]


Comments are closed-

I'm wondering...
Posted by: joshstrike on Jan 1, 2009 3:25 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This is cool and true and I couldn't agree more... but as a new Alternet member, I'm wondering...
Has anyone here in the sex & relationships forum ever asked these questions of the Islamic fundamentalists over in the "Human Rights" forum who are pretending to be liberals?
It drives me nuts, as someone who's been a pro-choice, absolute equality campaigner my whole life, that somehow this stuff all goes out the window when talking about the places where lack of virginity isn't just a cause for vilification; it's actually a legal reason for death or dismemberment.
I'm basically wondering how you guys can sit here agreeing with this while the rest of Alternet is up in arms over the Israeli retaliation against Gaza...a state where Hamas wants to initiate sharia law and stone women to death for not wearing the proper attire.

It seems to me that the liberalism, libertinism and general liberation from conformist '50s standards, the revolution I knew and grew up with -- exactly what's reflected in this article -- is being hijacked by something completely anti-liberal, namely, radical islam masquerading as victimhood. I'm curious how you manage to reconcile it, writing articles here alongside what this site has come to stand for. Are they just leaving you alone for now?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

 
Advertisement
From The Blog
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Most Read
Most Emailed
Most Discussed
On REDDIT
On DIGG
 
loading ...
POWERED BY DIGG'S USERS