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“I’d Go Out in Public Wearing Tight Pants to Shock People”: Life as The Man With the World’s Largest Penis

Jonah Falcon boasts 13.5 inches, but otherwise he’s just an average overworked American who dreams of so much more.
 
 
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I had a feeling that Jonah Falcon really wanted me to see his penis. Before we even set up our interview, the 44-year-old, who is recognized as the most well-endowed man in the world, asked me by email, “Did you need candid pics of me?” Perhaps he meant a photo of his face, but there was … a certain undercurrent. How could there not be with a man famous for having 13.5-inch-long penis when erect? A penis as wide as his wrist?

Then, during our phone interview, he asked whether I had seen a photo of it yet. When I told him that I hadn’t, he emailed me a link to several photos of his penis while we were still on the phone. Moments later, he interrupted our conversation to ask whether I’d gotten the email yet. It seemed he wanted to hear my reaction over the phone.

This was not surprising. Ever since his appearance in the 1999 documentary “Private Dicks: Men Exposed,” Falcon and his schlong have courted fame. What did surprise me was that his exhibitionism coexisted with a seeming malaise toward penis fame. He was most animated when I asked him things  not about his genitals, like his favorite music and actors. Most questions elicited only brief answers from him. I could hear a television or radio blaring in the background, which I imagined him to be much more interested in. He had just gotten home from his 9-to-5 doing data entry, a job that leaves him practically comatose at the end of the day. You see, having the world’s biggest penis does not necessarily pay the bills. In his case, it doesn’t come anywhere close to it, and he describes his situation as “depressing.”

Falcon fondly remembers the days when he was younger, fitter and slept around. He used to feel comfortable wearing spandex shorts around New York City to show off his goods; he liked the gawking it would inevitably inspire. Now he lives a quiet life with a roommate in Chelsea, playing video games in his spare time and having only the occasional sexual partner. Sex just isn’t a priority anymore. But he’s also not interested in a long-term partner and he even refers to himself as “asexual” in that sense. Our conversation was filled with these sorts of surprises and contradictions, the kind that come along with a life lived with record-making genitals.

When did you first realize that your penis was larger than average?

I was 10 years old and I decided to measure it.

Why did you decide to measure it?

Just, whatever, curious.

But how did you realize that your size was larger than average?

I was reading one of those adolescent books and they were mentioning this and that and I decided to compare myself. I didn’t really think much of it at the time.

Did you compare your penis to other boys’ growing up?

No, I really had no interest in that. I really wasn’t looking at anybody else. Apparently they noticed, but I didn’t.

Was this at the locker room at school?

Basically, yeah.

And what was their reaction?

I gathered they were impressed. But they never brought the subject matter up to me. I was talked about behind my back. Years later they told me.

I read in a Rolling Stone profile of you from over a decade ago that you had this moment in the boys locker room where they were all staring at you in disbelief …

The thing is, at the time I thought it was because I was uncut. I was the only guy who was uncut in school. I learned later that it was because of the size not the physical foreskin.

 
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