10 Most Absurd Things Conservatives Have Said About Sex Around Texas Abortion Battles
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9) Women are getting abortions by claiming to have handsprains. Bill O’Reilly threw a fit on his show during a discussion about the Texas bill, saying that women can get abortions “For any reason! Women’s health! ‘Hey! Look I sprained my hand!’” In reality, women who show up at the doctor’s office asking for an abortion do not legally have to justify it for any reason in the first two trimesters. That’s why it’s a right and not something you need a court order to do. There haven’t been committees to grill women to determine if they can produce good enough reasons to earn an abortion for 40 years in this country.
Indeed, the indignity of making women go before then all-male panels of doctors and beg for the right to terminate a pregnancy was one of the reasons that feminists demanded abortion legalization. We can all imagine that O’Reilly would like to listen to women have to beg for abortions on such a panel, though hopefully he’d at least know better to leave his loofah behind when he showed up for his “make ‘em beg” duties.
10) Pro-choicers worship Satan. Hosts of the show “Faith and Freedom” Matt Barber and Steve Crampton told viewers that pro-choice protesters at the Texas Capitol were taunting anti-choice protesters by yelling, “Hail Satan!” at them. Being from Texas myself, I can’t say I’m entirely surprised if this is true; taunting the religious right with sacrilegious jokes is a state sport for liberals there. But Barber and Crampton got themselves so worked up that I nearly halfway believed they’ve convinced themselves the people making fun of them are actually Satanists. Which must have been very exciting for them. But sorry guys, they’re just messing with you. There’s no such thing as Satan. Or Santa either, for that matter.
Taken together, the made-up nonsense, sexist blathering, paranoid delusions, and fantasies of Satan point to an important thing to understand about the anti-choice movement: They don’t know jack about anything and they don’t care to know it. Openly admitting you’re just a bunch of misogynists who want to punish women is politically toxic, so instead they spin yarn after yarn, tell lie after lie, and are so used to never speaking truth it’s quite possible they’ve forgotten what the truth even looks like anymore.