Alan Simpson Hates Your Grandchildren, Makes Decades-Old Hip-Hop References

In case you couldn't tell from his Social Security stance, Alan K. Simpson is not too fond of the youth. But yesterday on Fox, he displayed the ultimate in crotchety-old-manhood when he referenced two rappers who are in or near their 40s as examples of why your grandchildren are so damned ungrateful.

“This is a fakery,” Simpson said on Fox News. “If they care at all about their children or grandchildren, and sometimes I doubt that—I think, you know, grandchildren now don’t write a thank-you for the Christmas presents, they’re walking on their pants with the cap on backwards listening to the enema man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dogg, and they don’t like them!”

Hate to point out the obvious, but this is a man painting the youth of today as immature, while referring to two very successful grown men -- Eminem, 39, and Snoop Dogg, 41 -- by scatological nicknames. Never fret, though -- he's presently testifying before the Senate Finance Committee, negotiating our futures. Hopefully pee pee and caca come up, as that's the language he seems to understand.