An Interview With a Lesbian Lieutenant Stuck In 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' Limbo

Editor's Note: President Obama reached a deal with key democrats on repealing the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.  However, he also wants to hold off on actually making the law effective until after the Pentagon and the Joint Chiefs of Staff conduct a full review.  Gay activists say it is a big step forward on a campaign promise made by the President.  Republicans are complaining that the President is using the military to advance a liberal political agenda.  But what about the service men and women actually caught in "don't ask, don't tell" limbo?  More than 16,000 service members have been discharged for violating this policy since it went into effect in 1993.  Lt. Robin Chaurasiya is one of them.  She got her discharge papers this year after having served in the Air Force since 2006. She spoke with Sandip Roy from St. Louis, Mo.

What do you make of this compromise -- vote to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell now but hold off on implementing it while the Pentagon conducts its review?

It's kicking the can further down the road. The fact is it doesn't have a timeline. This thing could be implemented a year or two years afterwards, we never know. The other thing is it doesn't include a non-discrimination clause. There's a big difference between repealing a policy and officially (calling for) non-discrimination against LGBT members.

How did the Air Force find out you were gay?

When I first came back on active duty about a year ago I had written an email to about 200 people -- people I keep updated on my life. I had basically said, 'Hey, I had moved to St. Louis and there’s this really cool girl I am dating.' There was one male that I had dated in my entire life, he was also former military, and he forwarded that email to my commander.

What happened then?

My commander put it very well. He said, 'I am not going to do anything about this because I can't confirm it.' Then he said one line that really set me off. As I was walking out the door, he said, 'If I were you, I would make sure that nobody else makes such a claim on my character.' It just really upset me about this being a character flaw. Finally, about a week after that, I wrote him a memorandum and just laid it out: Yes I am a lesbian and I refuse to be told this is a character flaw. That's how the discharge happened.

You were given your discharge papers but you are still in the Air Force. Why is that?

The complicated part is when the discharge was initiated I wasn't discharged. I was told, 'We don't believe you are lesbian.' A couple of weeks later I married my girlfriend. Then they served another discharge packet and determined I am a lesbian but I was doing this in order to get out of the military. And thirdly when all of this hit the press a higher ranking general took it over and determined I needed to be discharged. That was over a month ago. I am still serving. The irony is that everyone claims it's bad for morale, hurts unit cohesion. If that's the case, what am I still doing here? That’s the Catch 22 of the situation.

Are there people who have actually pretended to be gay in order to avoid deployment as the military alleged in your case?

I don't know of any cases. Telling someone you are gay or lesbian is not something we do lightly. It means you are going to face a lot of discrimination and have to suffer the consequences.

What's it like to be a South Asian lesbian in your unit now that everyone knows about your orientation?

It's been a mixture. To be honest, my airmen are all young guys in their 20s, and they couldn't care less. A few of the sergeants, who are of the older generation, also have been very supportive and think this policy is horrible. There have been a couple of people here and there I have gotten hate mail from. There have been a couple of people with serious problems about gays in the military. But my view is they need to go, not me.