Victory Over Violence -- For Women and Men

By Rob Okun, AlterNet. Posted April 25, 2008.

It was no accident that New Orleans was the site of the 10th anniversary of V-Day, a dizzying two-day celebration in April of the global movement to end violence against women and girls. The vibrant, pulsating city, though far from healed in the two and a half years since the levees broke, flooding the city in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, offered safe harbor for the slam poets, artists, writers, healers, hell raisers, and hope mongers -- activists all in the struggle for truth, justice, and a new American way. I was part of the tribe that converged on the Big Easy, in my case to also speak at Tulane University and to visit one of my daughters.

While it was a far cry from Mardi Gras, colorful costumes, laugh-out-loud T-shirts ("Viva las Vulvas" read one), Native American dancers, and the Mahalia Jackson Choir made for a celebratory mood. We needed all that upbeat energy as a counterweight to the grim stories of violence against women recounted from the main stage. It was both chilling and hopeful that V-Day was held in the Superdome where so many suffered, primarily New Orleanians of color who had no way to get out of the city after the storm. Transforming the space from a suffocating container of despair to a vessel of great hope was accomplished by imaginative art--installations suggesting vaginal canals and portraits of "sheroes" of the women's and civil rights movements. Upper floors had places for women to go for free health care, a hair salon, and yoga instruction. An "activists' lounge," open to women and men, was filled with literature, art, books, and animated conversations.

An imaginative, urgent effort to raise consciousness and money, V-Day grew out of playwright-activist Eve Ensler's wedding of art and activism. Her award-winning play The Vagina Monologues is expected by the end of 2008 to have been performed at more than 3700 V-Day events around the United States and the world. A star-studded performance of the play, featuring Jane Fonda, Julia Stiles, Salma Hayek, and Jennifer Beals, capped off the two-day gathering and included music by Jennifer Hudson, Faith Hill, and the New Orleans Gospel Choir.

Among the conversations Eve Ensler facilitated from the stage was one with women activists from conflict zones -- Iraq, Bosnia, Afghanistan, the Philippines, and the Congo. The struggle for women's lives in these war-torn countries was as heartbreaking to hear as it was inspiring to learn of women's vision and small victories.

At V-Day, men were also visible, albeit a minority of all who attended. Some were activists working to prevent violence against women; others were eager to learn what they could do. A men's panel featuring local and national figures in the antiviolence men's movement held the attention of the audience with a sophisticated discussion of men's roles in perpetuating and preventing violence.

As more men -- from high school to middle age -- are encouraged to examine (and break out of) the box of conventional masculinity men have been socialized to inhabit, a burning question looms large: How can we inspire more men to acknowledge that some men's violence requires all men to reject any kind of abuse of women? There is no middle way. To paraphrase the current tenant of the White House, "Either you're for the abusers or you're against them." We have to continue to challenge ourselves to find our voices and to shift our position from the "I'm-a-good-guy-I-don't-abuse-women" bystander to someone who won't tolerate men who act abusively. Men's participation in inspirational gatherings such as V-Day is a part of the strategy.

See more stories tagged with: sexual violence, violence, sexual assault, rape, v-day, men against rape

Rob Okun is executive director of the Men’s Resource Center for Change in Amherst, Massachusetts, where he edits the center’s Voice Male magazine. He can be reached at rob.okun@mrcforchange.org.

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