The Strangest Ads for Menstrual Products

A girl jumps across the screen, sheer organza trails behind her as her white-spandex coated legs scissor into a high-kick. Why is this woman jumping for joy in Easter-colored, ethereal clothing? Well, she must be on her period, of course!

Not that you'd actually see any signs of a period in this advertising. The color red doesn't appear, there are no shots of how tampons or pads work and above all, no utterance of the word “vagina.” Apparently we have Barbie-genitals that bleed bright blue. It's no surprise these ads have become synonymous with lame and offensive.

Recently, Kotex came out with an ad that cramps this usual style. “The ads on TV are really helpful, because they show that blue liquid” says the woman on screen, deadpan, something that looks like laundry detergent spills into a pad. “And I'm like ‘Oh, that’s what’s supposed to happen.”

It takes some ovaries to pull-off and Kotex even pushed to get the word “vagina” used in the ad, which was never gonna happen on American television. It's not a bad start, but with Kotex being a repeat offender of the very advertising they are mocking, this could also be chalked up as too little, too late.

But in celebration of change, here is a round-up of those eye-roll-inducing ads that show an utter lack of empathy, understanding or even basic knowledge about periods. Ads that tell us how we should feel about our periods: from carefree to shameful. So bring your own midol and chocolate and enjoy the offenders--some of which your Great-Great Grandmother was probably scoffing at.

With input and images from Harry Finlay from the Museum of Menstruation.

Marketing to Teenagers

Marketing ads to teens became big business with teen magazines. Kotex made their 1950's 'Are you in the Know?' campaign into a mini advice segment, doling out wisdom like “When at a restaurant, choose what appeals to you then give your order to your escort; he should pass it on to the waiter.”

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This was an early Modess ad campaign from 1929. It “spoke” to teenagers by poking fun at Mother and her laughable old ways and silly washable pads. However there seems to be something lost in translation. I think Daughter is teaching Mother to exercise...in heels? It kinda looks more like she is teaching Mother some new fangled sex position. But this Tampax ad from the 90s which ran in teen mags is a bit, ehm, creepier.

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What is with all the dark shadows and shameful hands-in-pockets face-down stuff? And what is that in front of her? Garbage bags? A small child? A ghost? The ad reads “I wanted to use tampons but I heard you had to be, you know, 'experienced.'” Am I the only one who reads this in a back-woods accent and imagines some toothless Grandmother inside the house, swatting around her walkin' stick and yelling about this “devil's cotton!”

The Embarrassment Factor

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As the story goes, Kotex got their name so women wouldn't have to say “feminine napkin” to the drug-store clerk. But, those quick-clerks caught on and the modern throw-away pads weren't selling. Kotex then sent out manuals on how to display Kotex boxes; on the counter with a money-jar so women could buy the product without ever having to ask or be rung up. Competitors put slips of paper in their boxes that would read “sell me more Tampax please” so the woman would not have to speak to the clerk. Many drug-store owners wrapped the products up in paper to add to the secrecy, adding new meaning to “monthly gift” they'd even put a bow on top.

In the 90's however, Kotex played on a woman's embarrassment in a more direct way.