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Reproductive Justice and Gender

Why Do Men Catcall?

By Ronnie Koenig, AlterNet. Posted October 21, 2009.


Screaming at women about their appearances reinforces some men's sense of dominance -- but it's street harassment.
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"I want to show you a good time."

"Oh, man, talk about country thick -- big, round and juicy."

"Looks like candy. Does you melt in my mouth?"

When Angelita, 26, left her home in San Jose, Calif., on a recent morning, she wasn't dressed for sex.

"I walked by the local auto body shop. I was not looking my best. It started out with whistling and vocalizations. These guys were just hanging around yelling at every pair of buttocks that strolled down the street, no matter what they looked like. I just felt uncomfortable."

This scenario is played out multiple times a day in most cities across the world. Men shout out to female strangers on the street, commenting on their looks and do-ability. In most instances, women ignore their harassers and keep walking as if no comment was made. But in this instance (and as part of an experiment I spearheaded), Angelita bravely turned to the group of guys and asked them one simple question: "Why?"

Not surprisingly, the men offered no insight into their behavior. Instead, the group mentality kicked in and they piled on.

"You got a fat ass."

"Your body got me hummin'."

"Got to hold that body."

"For some men, catcalling reinforces their sense of dominance or manliness," explains Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D. and author of Sex with Your Ex & 69 Other Things You Should Never Do Again. "Others may be eternal optimists, hoping that maybe just one woman will actually throw herself at him. Still others do it because they're really just thinking with their dicks, saying the first thing that jumps into their heads."

All human beings who operate within society learn to censor their primal instincts. When nature calls, most people don't just pull down their pants in public, pop a squat and take care of business. We don't leap over the counter at Dunkin' Donuts and start stuffing Munchkins in our faces just because they look good.

So how is it that so many men operate without an "off" switch when it comes to making sexual comments? Is it because by not protesting, we've implicitly given them the go-ahead?

Thirty-something cultural anthropologist Franny runs a Twitter account that is fascinating in its thorough, block-by-block descriptions of the noises New York City men make toward her on an almost daily basis.

"Over years of receiving various catcalls I, like so many women, had become numb to them, so I decided it was time to stop ignoring them, accepting them or internalizing them and put them out there for what they really are: Obnoxious. Ultimately, I hope that this can become a forum for all women (and men) to share their catcall stories," she says.

Recently, Franny began asking the catcallers why they said these things to her.

"The first person didn't answer. The second, who called me gorgeous and asked for my autograph responded, 'Because you look like a movie star.' I know, since I had just rolled out of bed to go grab coffee that I could not have looked like a movie star ... maybe a movie star caught off guard in an awful paparazzi photo ..."

Before starting the Twitter account (and before that, a blog on the same subject), Franny had the idea to photograph the catcallers -- turning the lens on them -- but it proved too difficult to be constantly at the ready with a camera. Another issue was that she didn't necessarily want to stick around to interact with the person who slows down on his bike so he can make smooching sounds at her as she passes by.

While catcalls might seem like harmless fun or the punchline to a construction worker joke, many of the women I spoke to told me that catcalls made them feel uncomfortable or nervous at best. At worst, they left the situation feeling ashamed, angry and powerless, their dignity robbed by a complete stranger.

Brianne, 22, a grad student in Chico, Calif., described an incident that left her shaken up: "It was about 10 p.m. on a Tuesday, it was dark, and I was riding my bike home. I was just about a block from my apartment when a truck went by and a man yelled out the window 'Can I take you home with me?'

"It was horrifying, but I didn't react outwardly. I wanted to yell at him or flip him off, but I know that it isn't safe to potentially make a catcaller mad. It made me feel scared, and angry and dehumanized. I just kept thinking to myself, 'How could anyone think that it is acceptable to yell something like that?' I live in a college town where rape is all too common, but somehow this man seemed either unaware or unconcerned about that fact."

So why would a guy (who most certainly has a mother and possibly even sisters or a wife or girlfriend) deliberately scare a woman like that? Are these men just stupid or evil? Or is there something else at work?


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old teacher
Posted by: davy on Oct 21, 2009 2:05 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Way back when I was a school teacher I used to ask the boys. "Who do you think goes out with the girls, the ones who whistle and yell at them or the ones who listen to them."

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» RE: old teacher Posted by: buschthebearrefreshing
Hmmm. I do hope...
Posted by: mercianomad on Oct 21, 2009 3:05 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
...that this article isn't making the assumption that women don't do this as well.

When I was young I was a particularly beautiful guy, and I had lots of girls shouting things at me here and there. It was nice.

Are we progressives trying to create some sort of syntho-behavioral sterile world or something? Sometimes this stuff really is innocuous. It's not like it's verbal rape or anything.

When I bicycled through Thailand, it was common for girls to do this sort of thing ("You're so handsome!"), and it was nothing but friendly and sweet. Then again, their culture isn't nearly as sexually repressed as ours is.

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» RE: Hmmm. I do hope... Posted by: cdlepthien
» RE: Hmmm. I do hope... Posted by: mercianomad
» RE: Hmmm. I do hope... Posted by: badeggs
» RE: Hmmm. I do hope... Posted by: mercianomad
» RE: Hmmm. I do hope... Posted by: badeggs
» RE: Hmmm. I do hope... Posted by: mercianomad
» RE: Hmmm. I do hope... Posted by: SaraCole
» RE: Hmmm. I do hope... Posted by: Joni50
» Sorry to point this out... Posted by: zipper696
» RE: Sorry to point this out... Posted by: mercianomad
» RE: Hmmm. I do hope... Posted by: Joni50
Catcall
Posted by: kepstein7777 on Oct 21, 2009 3:23 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Ironically, I'd bet a lot of guys would love it if packs of women made catcalls at them.

I wouldn't want that kind of attention, whether their compliments were sincere, or they were just teasing me for being a dork (the more likely scenario). If I'm on my way somewhere, I don't want to be bothered.

I do like when waitresses or checkout ladies call me "honey." It's more personal, and shows that we're not so bogged down in formality and political correctness that we're all afraid of each other.

I think the extreme aversion to catcalls tends to be a white thing. Based on my reading and observations, "compliments" are more culturally acceptable among latin and black communities. Instead of hurrying along nervously, a black or latin woman is more likely to stop, turn around and say "You're damn right I look good!!! What else you got to say!?!?!"

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» RE: Catcall Posted by: curiousdwk
» RE: Catcall Posted by: chayankhoidream
Catcall or Wolf Whistle?
Posted by: tlwinslow on Oct 21, 2009 5:07 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
A catcall means loud derision not loud approval. You must mean wolf whistle :) When men see a sexually attractive woman walking on the street, it's actually hard not to be tempted to do something to express approval, sorry, it's probably hardwired into the brain.

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» RE: Hardwired? Give me a break. Posted by: cdlepthien
» RE: Catcall or Wolf Whistle? Posted by: badeggs
» RE: Catcall or Wolf Whistle? Posted by: Crazy H
» RE: Catcall or Wolf Whistle? Posted by: badeggs
» RE: Catcall or Wolf Whistle? Posted by: Crazy H
» RE: Catcall or Wolf Whistle? Posted by: koolwoman
The idea that any woman
Posted by: cdlepthien on Oct 21, 2009 5:14 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
in public unaccompanied by a man is presenting herself for sexual evaluation by any man she passes - doesn't this sound familiar? Muslim societies have extremely restricted the dress & activities of women on this basis, but of course it's the men who are the problem, not the women.

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» RE: The idea that any woman Posted by: Jethro2112
All things end
Posted by: littlepitcher on Oct 21, 2009 5:24 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Tell these women that they will notice and rue the day when the catcalls stop.

And, yes, I spent some satisfying years flaunting my feminism by wolf-whistling at construction workers. Not a one objected.

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» Thank god! Posted by: kateco2
» RE: All things end Posted by: Ellie F.
» RE: All things end Posted by: badeggs
» exactly what i was thinking... Posted by: undrgrndgirl
» RE: All things end Posted by: Joni50
Belching is effective
Posted by: Violetflame11 on Oct 21, 2009 6:14 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
When this would happen to me, I would pound my chest with my fist and let go a large belch, while seeming to ignore the catcallers. 99% of the time it horrified and quieted the harassment. I lived in a bad neighborhood in college and the catcalls would happen every day, but after a month or so of beating my sterum and belching, they stopped. And then occasionally the usually caller would belch at me, in some kind of recognition.

When I first moved into this neighborhood, the same men that felt comfortable catcalling me used to try to walk by me and grab at my breasts as well. I think the line between catcalling, aggression and violence is very thin. The belching seemed to negate their anger and machismo towards me. It made them laugh, but it got my point across as well.

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» RE: Belching is effective Posted by: Jethro2112
depends on the place, time and who is doing the cat calling
Posted by: sureshot45 on Oct 21, 2009 6:25 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
sometimes its flattering, others its insulting. how are the men supposed to know?

i have friends who thrive on the attention from strangers.

and i dont think im the only woman out there with conflicting feelings. you can only control your reactions and attitudes and not those of people around you. if you are insulted, hurt, scared, then do something about it. i have found most men back off when you turn around and make sexual advances towards them right back- they shut up real quick

and good point about it being a cultural thing. i lived in a central american country for a few years, and women were literally insulted if they strutted past a group of guys and did not at least get a whistle.

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Talking to Strangers is Demeaning?
Posted by: curiousdwk on Oct 21, 2009 6:49 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
"I take the act of calling out to a stranger as demeaning." Really? What a shame.

Our society has really disintegrated. i would prefer a society where talking to a stranger, especially with a sincere compliment, would be promoted - not squelched.

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» RE: There is a big difference Posted by: cdlepthien
Victim society?
Posted by: Smartcookie on Oct 21, 2009 6:53 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I think society is losing it's backbone generally and some women doubly so.

It's little wonder why men are afraid to be teachers (accusations of being a pedophile) or going near any child that may seem lost in public. It seems too many women are turnign their easily offended sensibilities into a kind of warped victimization breeding all sorts of ill effects in society.

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» RE: Victim society? Posted by: cdlepthien
Huge difference in content
Posted by: JDAlter on Oct 21, 2009 7:30 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Catcalling can be benign - I've had construction workers look me in the eye and say, "hello miss, have a nice day" and catcalling can be creepy - as in, "hey baby wanna s**k my d**k?" One is okay, even appreciated. The other is not. The problem is, whoever has this directed at them (female or male), they are required to take it in and decide what to do with it, and there's no recourse, no protection from the offensive comments. It can feel really threatening, or (at times), empowering as well (as in, "damn, I look good today!").

And to the guys who say that it's unfair, that they can't tell what a woman wants to hear/doesn't want to hear, I would say this: when in doubt, keep your comments to yourself.

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» RE: Huge difference in content Posted by: luzmejor
Instead of pulling out your middle finger...
Posted by: stina723 on Oct 21, 2009 7:34 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Why not pull out a taser instead? Bet they'll regret opening their mouth then...

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» Because it would be assault Posted by: felipe
Contradictory trends...
Posted by: JoshM on Oct 21, 2009 7:52 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I've noticed two contradictory trends:

New technology has greatly increased access to and mainstream acceptability of pornography, while at the same time feminist activism has managed to clamp down on expressions of sexuality in public spaces (on the street, on buses, in workplaces and college campuses) by defining it as harrassment. (This article is an example.)

It leads to a strange re-distribution of where, when and what sort of sexual expression ends up happening.

I remember a true story that illustrates this well. A young woman was hired to work at a construction site. One day she entertained some of her male co-workers by showing them some nude pictures of herself that she had on her cell phone. Some older co-workers took her aside and told her NEVER to do that again. "Do you realize how hard we had to work to get into this industry and be treated with respect? Don't ruin it for everyone."

This story says something about about the way the two trends interact and also about the practical difference between 2nd and 3rd wave feminism.

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» RE: Contradictory trends... Posted by: BCcovers
Don't worry...
Posted by: ah2323 on Oct 21, 2009 8:06 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Once you hit 35 or so, you won't be hearing them any more. In my experience, the women who get most exercised about this are the ones least likely to be catcalled.

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» RE: Don't worry... Posted by: badeggs
» Really?!? Posted by: countingdaisies
» RE: eally?!? Posted by: Joni50
» RE: Don't worry... Posted by: Joni50
outland observer
Posted by: zaxxon on Oct 21, 2009 8:14 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The other question is; why do women flaunt their sex in front of innocent males?

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» RE: outland observer Posted by: countingdaisies
» RE: outland observer Posted by: Joni50
catcalls show men's sense of entitlement toward women
Posted by: stopstreetharassment on Oct 21, 2009 8:33 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Regardless of whether or not men who catcall (note: not all men catcall!) say they do it as a "compliment" or not, it demonstrates their belief that they have the RIGHT to interrupt a woman's space, thoughts, and peace of mind to offer an evaluative comment or noise (positive or negative) or to demand sexual favors. It shows a sense of entitlement that I think is common of men who do not believe in gender equality and do not respect women as a whole.

It's the kind of entitlement that some abled bodied people may show toward persons with disabilities (ie believing they can push them out of the way if they're in a wheelchair) or some white people may show toward persons of color (how many African American women have had white people think it's okay to touch their hair?). Again, lack of respect comes into play.

For men who think they're paying women a compliment, please answer me why they tend to do it to a woman who is alone (or only with other women) and/or to a woman who can't respond safely or quickly to them (such as men who catcall from passing cars)? Why do they tend to do it in packs or when they are in a more secure position than the woman (again, car example)? Because it's not a compliment and it's a poor way to "pick up" a date. I don't think even the catcalling guys believe that those are their reasons for their behavior - they just say that's why they do it. If they really wanted to compliment a woman or meet a woman, they would say hello in a respectful, non threatening way etc and as they got to know her, they'd offer her a real compliment, not just something vulgar like "nice ass."

Women are not in public for men's pleasure and it's not their right to intrude our space with those kinds of comments.

I research and write on street harassment (including a forthcoming book in 2010ish) and I've found that most women have experienced a scary form of street harassment, such as being stalked, touched, or assaulted. Why do people never focus on that and why men engage in that behavior but instead always focus on the "hey baby"'s?

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Catcalling is definitly aggressive
Posted by: cypriot on Oct 21, 2009 9:04 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The author is basically correct; catcalling is always an act of hostility. The evidence is that men do not only catcall women. Men catcall men, sometimes with a homosexual content, other times just with insults. It is always in the context of overwhelming inequality of strength. Usually the catcaller is with several buddies and the victim is alone; otherwise the catcaller is very big or very strong or has a weapon. Unlike most situations of male against female catcalling, if a man dares to stand up to his tormentors, he is almost certainly going to get a serious beatdown. The crucial elements are either shouting to someone in public or a sexual proposition with no preliminary conversation to see if the other person might be interested. Genuine gay male propositions are never shouted, and are always preceded by a little polite introductory getting-to-know-you smalltalk. Prostitutes will sometimes carefully, quietly and politely address a man in public. The difference is unmistakable; she is interested in finding work, not in making someone feel bad. After reading some of the comments defending catcalling, I am amazed at how backward some people can be.

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Something Scary!
Posted by: vertical on Oct 21, 2009 9:11 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I read somewhere that 40% of men will rape if they think thay can get away with it. The numbers in the study were backed up by numbers tabulated in places where rule of law had gone by the wayside due to war or disaster. Anther interesting thing about the study showed that conscripted soldiers were mre likely to rape than professional soldiers.

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» RE: Something Scary! Posted by: Crazy H
» RE: Something Scary! Posted by: Crazy H
» RE: Someone's Scared! Posted by: Crazy H
» RE: Something Scary! Posted by: Joni50
Something Scary, revised:
Posted by: vertical on Oct 21, 2009 9:17 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I read somewhere that 40% of men will rape if they think they can get away with it. The numbers in the study were backed up by numbers tabulated in places where rule of law had gone by the wayside due to war or disaster. Anther interesting thing about the study showed that conscripted soldiers were more likely to rape than professional soldiers.

I posted this again because I found a misspelling in the first one

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The kind of men who catcall
Posted by: tanstaafl28 on Oct 21, 2009 9:32 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Are the kind of men who don't expect they can get a babe like that, so why not be rude, crude, and immature about it? It's a form of "lust-envy."

On the other hand, I suspect that women, who are rightly offended and embarrassed by such behavior are probably secretly a little flattered by it as well, but this doesn't excuse it in any way, shape, or form.

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Men really do want to run the show
Posted by: popsicle67 on Oct 21, 2009 10:07 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Catcalling is the mildest form of bondage practiced on women. The man not only requires the woman to hear of his admiration but demands that she have an opinion about that admiration. All in all i would consider it a rape of the psyche.

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Points of view and generalizations
Posted by: Ahimsa on Oct 21, 2009 11:15 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Yes, you can see it like that, and there is undoubtedly, much possibility or harassment in catcalling.
It is very prevalent in Latin America, for example.
IT nice to hear compliments shouted from the other side of the street,
I guess it depends on what is being said.
Or do we want to protect women from unwanted adulation too?

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We forget
Posted by: linecrosser on Oct 21, 2009 11:16 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
that we are animals. Assuming all other needs are taken care of we seek sex. Male and female, sex is a drive. The human female is one of the few species that permits sex while not in heat. Men have a unlimited number of sperm, women have a limited number of eggs. The need of a family structure to facilitate the raising our offspring creates society. Cat calling is no different than dogs sniffing each other butts. We like to think of ourselves as being a higher level of animal, yet we are still animals.

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Strength in numbers
Posted by: willymack on Oct 21, 2009 11:19 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
These "men" are creeps who couldn't make out in a bordello with a suitcase full of money.
Proximity to a pretty woman would reduce them to knee-quivering, stuttering helplessness, at least on a one-to-one basis.
They're basically adolescents in adult bodies who lack the self assurance, confidence in their manhood, and the LOVE and respect for women which mark true adult men.

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This article is classist
Posted by: daniel347x on Oct 21, 2009 12:07 PM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Of the occupations discussed in this article given as examples in which men catcall women, every single one is a working-class profession. Working-class and economically disadvantaged, "blue-collar" men are an oppressed class in our society.

To frame this point clearly, consider an analogous issue. It is true that a much larger fraction of black people are imprisoned or jailed for violent crime than the fraction of black people in the population. Violent crime is a terrible thing; however, any article that seriously discusses violent crime and highlights black people as violent criminals would be racist if it did not discuss the influence of the oppression of black people on crime rate and perceptions of black people as violent criminals.

Just so, this article - regarding another oppressed group, poor and working-class men - is classist because it does not discuss the influence of the oppression of poor and working-class men on sexual harassment and perceptions of men as sexual harassers.

Another related issue is important in this context. There are important areas that are not analogous between race and class issues, in my experience. Anti-racists who struggle against violence in society tend to embrace and understand the relationship between racism and violence in our culture. However, feminists rarely exhibit an understanding of the influence of classism on sexual harassment of women. This is striking, and relates to these ways in which racism and sexism are not analogous issues; the ways that they are analogous are described frequently in progressive writing, but the equally important ways that they are not analogous goes rarely mentioned.

Unfortunately, this leads easily to unquestioned and uncriticized classism, and does nothing to restructure society so that it can be rid of either sexism or classism. The two issues, like other issues of oppression, are deeply related and need to be understood together.

Dan Nissenbaum

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How Sad
Posted by: dnaylor on Oct 21, 2009 12:35 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It is very saddening to me to read the responses from people who just don't get it. What is really amazing is that I suspect that they are from guys who would catch an equally bone-headed comment about something else--race, class, sexuality, etc.--in a heartbeat. In fairness, far too many of the writers with something itelligent to say today often do the same when the topic is something besides sexism (racism,etc.).

People really like their privilege. And they've spent their whole lives denying it. I hope today that at least one guy reading the comments will ignore the ones that make him feel good, and dwell more on the ones that make him feel uncomfortable. That's the only way I ever got smarter. And more egalitarian. Get out of your comfort zone.

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Why do women catcall?
Posted by: rafaeltoral on Oct 21, 2009 1:07 PM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
And why are many authors, here at alternot, complete and total hypocrites?

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To women who hate it when another person inappropriately makes reference to your beauty...
Posted by: rafaeltoral on Oct 21, 2009 1:14 PM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
...do not worry. Give it a couple twenty or thirty years and I promise you it will cease.

It's called getting old. When you get there you can rest assured no one will want to look at you.

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I Get This All The Time
Posted by: mizobe on Oct 21, 2009 2:07 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I'm a really lucky guy. I'm muscular, big dick, financially secure, I ride a motorcycle and have long curly hair.
I worked for a while as a male exotic dancer when I was younger. You ain't seen nothin' until you've seen how women act a bachelorette party!!
I also play in a Rock band.

Anyone who thinks this is simply a male phenomenon is just plain ignorant.
Women as well as gay men have whistled at me, stared at my bod, made sexual innuendos etc. etc.
Even in public I've had women grab my butt...and then tell me they just couldn't resist.
Personally none of this bothers me in the least.

As far as the men who do this to women passing by I tend to think that most aren't very good at scoring points with the ladies, and as one writer said they would probably just stammer and act the fool if they ever got up the balls to make their play toward the object of their desire. As for the women who do this they tend to be very bold and liberated.
Is there a difference? I think so.I think men and women do it for different reasons but they BOTH do it.

Let's face it, ultimately women do the choosing in the mating game.
As for the 50% of men who never get chosen, try to understand their poor behavior. It must be awful for them. They're acting out of frustration and desperation and it ain't pretty.

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» Mizobe, I have an idea for you. Posted by: countingdaisies
» How big are we talkin here? Posted by: rafaeltoral
» Agreed! Posted by: BCcovers
» RE: Agreed! Posted by: mizobe
» RE: I Get This All The Time Posted by: Joni50
Guess who else was a big catcaller
Posted by: ecogazoo on Oct 21, 2009 2:12 PM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
How odd. Adolf Hitler was well known for being chauffeur-driven around Vienna, catcalling the urchins and sometimes even the proper ladies! Most of them stared straight ahead, harrumphing and pointing their dainty noses skyward. It was scandalous, they say...

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» RE: BS Posted by: cdmsr
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright...
Posted by: pcarlinnyc on Oct 21, 2009 2:55 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Dr.
Yvonne K. Fulbright. What good is your Ph.D. if you must stoop to this level of discussion "...just thinking with their dicks"

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The author is overreacting
Posted by: rclord on Oct 21, 2009 4:20 PM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I hate to say it, but in other countries, men catcall women on the street all the time, and the women just don't give it a second thought.

As long as it's just verbal, it doesn't harm you. I agree it can sound obnoxious, but even then letting it get to you is a waste of energy.

There are a millions reasons why these men do it. Maybe they're drunk or stoned. Maybe they're having a bad day. Maybe they feel like joking around. Or maybe they're just bored.

I have lived in big cities for most of my life, and I have come across men catcalling women, including myself, all the time. You just learn to tune it out, and not pay any attention.

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» Vive la Différence! Posted by: 24&somuchmore
My Internal Catcall
Posted by: InsertNameHere on Oct 21, 2009 6:11 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I would likely never 'catcall' a woman but you better believe that I'm totally checking you out.

Outwardly, I'm walking by, may make eye contact and smile, going about my day.

Inwardly, Any woman I see I instanly evaluate sexually, if she is within certain parameters determined by my life experience, desires, preferences, etc.

In my head I'm saying... Man she's got a nice ass, or I imagine her naked or whatever. Do women do this? I don't know, maybe some do. I am a man and I am attracted to women. I think we are stimulated visually for the most part.

I don't do anything obvious to make a girl uncomfortable because I respect social mores. There are some girls who would feel uncomfortable if you are obviously evaluating them in a sexual way. There are some who want to be looked at. I respect a woman's personal expectation of safety and comfort while in public.

But I'm still thinking about how good your ass looks in those jeans.

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» RE: This post is nothing Posted by: cdlepthien
» RE: My Internal Catcall Posted by: Joni50
Schrödinger’s Rapist
Posted by: exileinla on Oct 21, 2009 7:18 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Recently read a great blog post called Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced that does a great job explaining when and how guys can approach girls without setting off our inner rape detector - I recommend the comments section too. One out of six American women will be sexually assaulted in our lifetime. When guys come onto us in a creepy, aggressive way, we have a rational reason for being afraid.

We spent a lot of time talking about the incidence rate of violence against women and looking at women as victims. It is time for us as a culture to hold men accountable for beating, raping and murdering us. Sexually demeaning, threatening and harassing women (and young girls) in public is part of the larger context of violence against women and should no longer be socially acceptable.

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» RE: Schrödinger’s Rapist Posted by: daniel347x
» RE: Schrödinger’s Rapist Posted by: exileinla
» RE: Schrödinger’s Rapist Posted by: daniel347x
» RE: Schrödinger’s Rapist Posted by: exileinla
Wearing tights under my shorts just for health and comfort got me too many catcalls
Posted by: maxpayne on Oct 21, 2009 10:10 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
in certain places. It's that arousal factor that does the magic. I don't wear short shorts and yet all that. I can imagine what women go through for dressing shorter.

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Hmmm...
Posted by: La Colombetta on Oct 21, 2009 10:11 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
So what I'm understanding from most of these posts is that a woman is not just asexual, but a total bitch for not responding to catcallers. Hmm I dunno, maybe she actually has to get some errands done or take her child to the doctor. Oh wait, but a catcaller's feelings have been hurt! Poor wittle boy-man!

Don't we have more pressing issues than worrying about the ego of some guy (or guys) standing on the corner with to much time on his (their) hands?

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Why Do Men Catcall?
Posted by: Priam1 on Oct 21, 2009 10:35 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
To begin with, I notice that a lot more Latinos do this. It tends to be a cultural thing. The second reason is that these guys know that women--though pretending to be outraged--really enjoy it. Oh, they get righteously indignant, but deep down they like the attention--or why would they buy thongs, Daisy Dukes, low cut blouses, short skirts, see through blouses, "f*ck me" heeled shoes, black stockings, have their nails, lips, eyes, mascara, foundation, fake eye lashes, fake boobs, genital alterations, lipo suction, hair removal, underarm shaving, fashion proclivities, etc, etc. Common now, why play the ingenue?--fess up, you like the attention. You'd be fumming if some guy didn't pay attention to all your efforts.

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» RE: Why Do Men Catcall? Posted by: La Colombetta
» RE: Why Do Men Catcall? Posted by: Joni50
its not for the women its for the men
Posted by: Kilantra on Oct 22, 2009 12:26 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
men do it in groups for each other....the same men wouldn't do it singularly. They're rubbing each other's _____/

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There was a really cute lady who was a teller at BOA I used to razz.
Posted by: Nitestallion on Oct 22, 2009 4:42 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I asked her one time if it made her uptight that sometimes other guys would join in with catcalls.

She said "As long as it isn't derogatory or coarse I don't care, but just remember turn about is fair play?" "If I say you got a nice ass in the restaurant honey remember what I told you." I said I surely would and was looking forward to it. She chuckled and said: "You're bad, cool but bad"

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Rule of thumb
Posted by: DaBear on Oct 23, 2009 11:08 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I used to ride around to a lot of construction sites with my grandfather (an engineer and no prude) before he retired. I watched him plenty of times take men to task in front of their buddies for catcalling women (he was their big-boss afterall).

Later in the truck he'd tell me the rule of thumb: If you won't say it in public to your wife, sister or your daughter, don't be god damned sayin' it to a total stranger.

Because after all she is some other man's wife, sister or daughter.

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» RE: ule of thumb Posted by: Joni50
Whats wrong with you?
Posted by: rickiey on Oct 27, 2009 6:47 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Seriously? "Men catcall"?

Really?

Any other stereotypes you want to promote?

Cuz "men" don't catcall. Maybe "some men you know" but NO men I know. Perhaps it says more about the men you choose to know, than about men in general.

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