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Reproductive Justice and Gender

Are Women Today Really More Unhappy?

By Sady Doyle, Comment Is Free. Posted May 23, 2009.


If you start to look closely at the so-called "happiness studies," the research actually starts to look quite sad.
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Women: you are all terribly sad now. This, anyway, is the message of "The paradox of declining female happiness," a new study by Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolvers of the University of Pennsylvania. The study, which takes into account various happiness surveys - these exist! And people are paid to conduct them! - from the 1970s to the present, comes to some fairly troubling conclusions: although women have better educations, better pay, more sexual and reproductive freedom, and a greater capacity for self-determination than ever before, we're less happy than ever.

"Women have become less happy, both absolutely and relative to men. Women have traditionally reported higher levels of happiness than men, but are now reporting happiness levels that are similar or even lower than those of men," quoth the study. It's a fairly sensational point. (Feminism has betrayed women! Don't you miss the days when all you had to worry about was birthing babies, cleaning kitchens, and satisfying your man? Well, you should!) However, as you read the study - which I have done, at great risk to my own personal happiness - it becomes clear that it isn't the whole story.

The questions raised by the research are many. For example: is it really wise to trust a study that cites the "Virginia Slims American Women's Opinion Polls?" Is it useful to come to conclusions about "women" as a whole from a study that cites strong upwards trends in happiness for both black men and black women (black women, it is noted, were less happy than black men in 1972; the opposite is true now), then abruptly switches back to lamenting those poor, depressed white ladies? Why focus on (white) women's declining happiness, when the fact is that both (white) women and (white) men have had an overall happiness decline? How does the narrative about declining female happiness fit in with the fact that fewer women now commit suicide? And, last but most certainly not least, why does a study of such a fuzzy and subjective thing as "happiness" or "satisfaction" mean anything at all? Can't overall quality of life be measured by looking at harder, more objective data: things like crime rates, rates of unemployment or underemployment, or access to basic needs such as adequate health care and education? People can always find something to complain about, after all. That doesn't mean that their lives haven't objectively improved.

Yet the "happiness" question is interesting, precisely because it is so subjective. As Susan Faludi noted in her seminal work, Backlash, one of the primary tactics of anti-feminists is the argument that the freedoms provided by feminist progress will ultimately ruin women's lives. Women have access to birth control and abortion? Trot out the old biological clock, and tell women they'll die childless if they don't conceive in their mid-twenties! Women are delaying marriage, and going for serial monogamy or casual sex instead? Tell them that it's more likely for them to be struck by lightning than to find a husband after the age of 30, and that hooking up lessens their "market value" for the menfolks! (Of course, there is a certain kind of woman that doesn't necessarily want to get married, and is frankly repelled by the idea of dating a man that would assign her "value" corresponding to her sexual inexperience or lack thereof: the anti-feminist answer to this, of course, is always some variant on, "oh, you will care - when it's too late.") Women have greater access to the professions of their choice? Say, does anyone have some stereotypes of bitter, unfulfilled, unfeminine career women to throw around?


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WHERE ARE ALL OF THOSE EQUAL RIGHTS WOMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE?
Posted by: joeocho88 on May 23, 2009 2:41 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Women were supposed to be getting equal pay for equal work, education to make them the equal and direct competitors with me for all of the high-paying jobs-- except there are glass ceilings, NO access to the good old boys network and fraternal orders where the members help each other through hard times...

Women who get married and have kids are usually dumped for the latest new sweetie and she is stuck trying to cadge child support out of some dude who ends up kicking her to the curb and kids too more likely than not and then she has to get a job to support them and if she is not well connected, she is in trouble.
Women are told they can have it all.
Motherhood is NOT fulfilling when you can't trust the father of the kid to stay around adn help you raise it.
NONE of the social service agencies will help a woman who wisely decides she can't afford a kid, But she won't get any help if she doesn't have a kid.
And by the time a woman is 50, if she is not rich and a celebrity she is considered WASHED UP, NO GOOD, USED UP and DISPOSABLE. Look at the reaction Susan Boyles got on the Britian Has Talent audition to see how older women are regarded. It is even WORSE DISCRIMINATION in the workplace.
With no children, if you have no family to fall back on to help you and you worked the kind of jobs so many women have without a pension and not able to save anything -- the older woman is pretty much stuck in a limbo of HELL/ Too old for the job market and too young of Social Security retirement.

AND NOBODY IN THE GOVERNMENT SEEMS TO CARE BECAUSE THERE ARE NO PROGRAMS THAT WILL HELP PEOPLE IN THIS AGE DEMOGRAPHIC!

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This comment has been removed from the site due to non-compliance with AlterNet's community policies.
» "Child-Man" article Posted by: peacemom528
» says how? Posted by: Honky the Nihilist VI
» WTF, man? Posted by: login@bugmenot.com
» If this were 1969... Posted by: BlueTigress
Unhappy
Posted by: kepstein7777 on May 23, 2009 4:27 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The article was going ok until the second-to-last paragraph, as if today's men aren't "constantly being bombarded with contradictory expectations." I'll spare you the list of examples here, but I'll be glad to provide them, if necessary.

Coming from the left or the right, the idea that women have it harder than men, or are less happy than men, is--as the article admits--subjective. It would be fun to say that women just complain more, are more emotional, or are never satisfied no matter what. But as far as I can tell, women seem just as happy as men, and any perception of unhappiness relative to men is mostly politically-motivated noise and media hype generated to sell books and magazines. And to the article's credit, it seems to acknowledge this.

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men and women...
Posted by: ellie on May 23, 2009 5:14 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
create their own happiness depending on their wants and desires in life... each choice has a trade off one way or another...

the biggest sticking point seen so far in the university 18-23 year old group of women I know is to child or not to child in the first place... the issue of marriage is becoming less important...

the prospects of being able to earn a living is becoming a larger concern with leaning towards the odds of not being able to have kids at all... either through biology (older first time mothers) or finances...

men in this age group seem to have stronger feelings about delaying or forfeiting marriage and many may not have kids at all except by accident... the sentiment is that if you can't afford to have kids and raise them according to your own family standards for a baseline, better not having kids at all...

feminism has nothing to do with these decisions, economics are taking center stage in new family formation concerns... these students are quite aware they may not be able to provide the same standard of living they had growing up or even close to their parents, so many are deciding to opt out of creating their own new family and children...

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U.S. Never Ratified the ERA (Equal Rights Amendment)
Posted by: terradea42 on May 23, 2009 5:34 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Most people do not realize this, but equal rights for women is not guaranteed by the Constitution. Equal rights for African Americans and religious people is guaranteed by the Constitution.

A majority of Americans seem to think that women aren't worthy of Constitutional protection.

That realization alone makes me less happy.

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Observer
Posted by: davy on May 23, 2009 6:50 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Looking for love in all the wrong places. Depending on anyone else for your happiness is a fools errand. Yet it's all we see on tele and the movies. Time to wake up and listen to your own heart. Leave the herd and see what happens.

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» RE: Observer Posted by: VZEQICVA
micko
Posted by: micko on May 23, 2009 8:25 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Life without options stinks. Life without control of your own body stinks. Working at the same job as the men and doing it better, and still living in poverty because the men are paid a decent wage and you are not, stinks. Being derided as a matter of course for being female, stinks. That's how it was before the women's movement. Been there, done that. It stinks. Unfortunately, a female is more prone to Weltschmerz, having an active conscience and not being almost entirely self-involved.

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» RE: micko Posted by: Dboy
too bad
Posted by: sherry on May 23, 2009 8:38 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
No doubt while feminism widened employment opportunities for women, at the same time it apparently robbed US schools of first-class English teachers who could have taught their students, such as Honkey the Nihlist above, the difference between the words woman and women.

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» RE: too bad Posted by: VZEQICVA
Misses Several Points
Posted by: Gravitas on May 23, 2009 8:54 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I think this article excludes several realities of modern women's lives that make them miserable:

Materialism. We are taught to judge our worth by our wealth. We measure our success relative to others. But it is this 'keep up with the Jones," shop "therapy," stuff overload that is making us miserable. It takes up our time and kills us with debt and financial insecurity.

Image Obsession. Surveys still suggests that many women think their number one worry is their weight. They still buy into what the media tells them they should look like. That is either impossible or a full time job for many. Who can be happy after spending 2 hours on a commute, 8 hours in the workplace,(especially if you don't like your job) 2 or 3 more hours on housework, then having to exercise for the rest of their free time to look like some media clone??? Women feel guilty for every bite they put in their mouths. NEVER eating for pleasure is as puritanical as believing sex has no purpose other than procreation. And of course no matter what they do, they will age......

Myself personally, I create my own definition of happiness. I find the less stuff I have, the happier I am. The less I watch t.v, the more I can define myself instead of letting advertisers do that for me. I love my body and my curves and strive for a healthy balance, not a number on a scale. I HATED being married, by love my "friends with benefits" relationship with a firefighter. I pay a price in terms of social acceptance, but I am still happier than going along with the crowd.

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HAPPINESS, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH
Posted by: VZEQICVA on May 23, 2009 9:18 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Doesn't the author mean "someone else's idea of happiness"? The one thing about women that upsets society across the board is the fact they we no longer reach a certain age and set out to entrap some man in a plan to support us and provide us with children. Because we're supposed to. There used to be two kinds of women: the married with children and the old maids. Very simple, predictable and easy to control. We no longer wish to be judged on our ability to "land a man". That's now optional. The TV shows and magazine articles about women wringing their hands over a man are still force fed to the public but they've become comedy. The pathetic sobbing few are not what any young girls want to be like. Marriage and children once defined "fulfillment and happiness". That difinition didn't necessarily come from women. In that role, women made the world feel safe and secure. Many of us chose to abandon traditional roles. In so doing, no one was hurt. But the old picture changed and that was very disturbing. It's not what we do or how happy we are that 'concerns' people it's the things that we DON'T do anymore. We actually have men in our lives and generally like them. But marriage is no longer the goal. Everybody should just relax. Thanks, ANNA

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The Trick
Posted by: oregoncharles on May 23, 2009 10:15 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
"when all you had to worry about was birthing babies, cleaning kitchens, and satisfying your man?"

One way to be happy is to set very low standards. When the culture did that for women, and they bought it, they may well have been happier - or more willing to say that they were. It's a slippery concept, as the author points out.

Furthermore, there's "all you had to worry about." That isn't just a low standard; it's a high level of certainty in your life. Freedom and equality come with a lot of choices and a lot more chances to screw up. Ambitious people are rarely "happy" - even if they're successful.

But there's more, and here I think the women's movement was at fault: it set the goal of adopting men's role, without first asking men whether that was a good idea (I'm not theorizing: I was there). If we'd been asked, we could have told them they were welcome to it; we didn't want it anymore. It was a sucker's move, and the subject of considerable debate at the time. In practice, women were fairly selective about it: not all that many wanted the dangerous or icky jobs men were doing. But that wasn't the movement's doing.

We also, as a society, failed to think out the implications of equality. Who IS going to take care of the kids, the house, etc.? We needed something like a shorter workweek, so that these tasks could be shared. Rethinking some of them, like housework, would have helped, too. We're still working on those adjustments.

I remember when these reports that women weren't all that "happy" first started appearing - about the time their movement into the workforce was pretty complete. I thought, and think, it was stickershock: "It's really like this?"

Which leads us to the next big challenge: rethinking the workplace. That's a big challenge, and one the sexes now have an equal stake in. A financial and economic collapse might be a good time to work on it.

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» RE: The Trick Posted by: fork
» Very Well Said! Posted by: Red State Gal
Women in General are Preprogrammed Automatons....
Posted by: rastaman on May 23, 2009 10:19 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
....that are hell bent on mutual destruction. they work and play in a vain effort to find happiness never realizing that the quest to "know thyself" is the one true path to "happiness"

not the kind of "princess happiness" these spoiled brats have been spoon fed all their lives....but the kind of "coming home" happiness that we all search for.


of course, being the ID (amoral) of the two sexes, most couldn't even begin to formulate this. even if they could, they are so enveloped in their own fear and cowardice that it would not be attainable. most have been living in a lie for so long that the truth becomes the enemy.

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Equality created relationship problems.
Posted by: countingdaisies on May 23, 2009 12:08 PM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Those who wanted or want equality in life, whether it be race or gender related, have to earn it. Any law that forces equality disrupts the change process.

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Nowhere...
Posted by: Pirate1 on May 23, 2009 1:04 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
In this "study" is the degree to which the survey participants might be taking all their cues as to what "should be" from the mainstream (malestream?) corporate media that resists any stray from the status quo with all their considerable power... because if women, and men, were to free themselves from being told what they want, need, should have, by an outside source invested in keeping them needy and insecure... there would be a revolution at the level of the human spirit that no government or corporate might could thwart.

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"happiness"
Posted by: ladyoracle on May 23, 2009 7:38 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The writer touched on the idea that "happiness" is a tool of ideology, but I don't think she developed it as much as she could have. The point isn't just to discredit the term, but rather to investigate why we value it so much and where the sites of struggle for meaning of this term take place.

Right now the site for struggle over what this term means and onto whom it can be bestowed is being artificially made into a gender issue, as the writer points out noting that perhaps instead there's a race/class issue.

Perhaps instead we should look at the contradictory messages we get from media/entertainment, family, traditional values, commercials, etc. There are so many ways to get "happiness" that one person (male or female) can't possibly live up to all of them. To determine whether anyone is happy, one must first define what kind of happiness one refers to, and then it will probably look more like satisfaction or contentment, not some sustained state of euphoria (those people scare me). Most of the people who've commented on this article and claimed to be happy have found happiness out of the mainstream, so in a survey they might not look like they have anything to be happy about.

The writer mentions several times that her source ignores that blacks are more happy than before, but she doesn't investigate why that might be true either. How about a survey that not only asks if you are happy, but also asks what you think happiness is and how you have come to that set of ideas about the term. I think then we will learn something about men, women, ethnic identities, and our obsession over happiness.

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Please please please stop with the "DOUBLE STANDARD" talk
Posted by: RHad on May 24, 2009 11:09 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Here we go again, for the slow ones:

There is one standard for men.
There is one standard for women.

Yes, physiology, psychology and biology dictate that these are indeed different standards, particularly when it comes to sexual relationships. A double standard might apply should you have two standards for a group of men, or for a group of women. A double standard simply cannot exist among two different subsets.

Having different standards for men and women, then, does not constitute a "double standard." It constitutes reality. Just because you hear this term used incorrectly does not mean you too may use it incorrectly. Unless, of course, you're trying to push some sort of sham sexual agenda.

So once again for the class, when it comes to comparing men and women, the term "double standard" does not apply or even make sense. Apples and oranges. Please refrain.

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patriarchy oversees that...
Posted by: avabird on May 24, 2009 12:11 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
WOMEN are the WORLDS NIGGERS!

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Happy Women??? Surely you jest...
Posted by: rjs on May 24, 2009 5:57 PM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The majority of women I've met in my life, of all ages, are not happy. Very few indeed have anything in them that allows for true happiness.

They might act happy, they might smile, but it lasts such a short time before they find the need to be what they are.... women.

I have however met a few that seem to have a certain happiness about themselves, but very few. Those very few are indeed the minority. And very special people.

....

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Thirtieth place. That is where the United States stands in the world.We
Posted by: Raymond Emerson on May 24, 2009 6:35 PM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
are discussing quality of life. The happiness of women women is only one part of the larger picture. The US was freshly in 2nd place when Ronald Reagan became president. It had just dropped behind Switzerland. Go read "The Spirit Level" by Wilkinson and Pickett and see if you are ever the same again.

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Happy Woman
Posted by: Jaffe on May 25, 2009 10:38 PM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I wish someone had asked me. I'm a woman and I've never been happier.

--We can join the military and torture Muslims like men.

--We can be shit-eating corporate bosses like men.

--We can pee standing up like men.

--We can bullshit about sports like men.

--We can drink and cuss and fuck casually like men.

--We can subscribe to all the social online networks like men.

Sisters, count your blessings. Us women have never, ever had it so good.

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» RE: Happy Woman Posted by: Jaffe
» RE: this is true Posted by: cherylsass123
» RE: this is true part two Posted by: cherylsass123
It's All Relative
Posted by: jmmartin on May 26, 2009 7:01 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
If American women want to find out what it means to be really unhappy, they should try living in the Swat Valley, Pakistan.

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some thoughts on all this
Posted by: cherylsass123 on May 28, 2009 12:31 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
first , it is true that women are being told they will be unhappy if they don't find that special man , become as good as the man but stay feminine, and all else. I'm a transsexual woman , and honestly, I can not say that I was ever happy as that " It" thing I formerly was for 42 years, nor am I that much more happier now still being pre-op and unable to even afford to live, never mind physically complete the transition.
but having veered off the path taken by so many transwoman, which is the " traditional", high femme queen woman; and instead going the angry lesbian-feminist route; I can better understand all this.
so who is most to blame for women supposedly feeling more unhappy? well I'll say both women themselves and, most importantly; those conservative, never old enough to die off and leave the feminists alone, women!
yes, beverly la haye of the " concerned women for america", sarah palin, and others like them.
and also, the many advertising filled women's magazines and paparazzi shit rags seen on every fucking store shelf, in bookstores, salons, drs. offices; and nearly everyplace else! that , and the dating advice " experts" , almost always WOMEN WRITERS, whom write for match.com and many women's magazines.
one look through say, " Real Simple" or
" Woman's Day" and one will come to realize that woman are being told, often buy other women themselves; that they are too fat, don't wear the right makeup, must be more giving to their boyfriends, husbands, future husbands; and yes, must heed the call of that ever ticking biological clock.
being that I've had an ad on match.com under 'women seeking women" [ lesbian and bisexual ] for about 4 months, I have read some of the dating advice these female
" dating gurus" offer; along with the occasional male writer from MAXIM.[ all heterosexual advice, of course!]
This one woman writer literally told women they should "wear their highest heels, classiest, most " feminine" dress, carry that Gucci Purse; and of course expect the man to both pay for their dinner and hold their chair, take their jacket for them. and oh yes, let him take you to a five star restaurant, of course; and never act like you are smarter and have a mind of your own!
reading this shit, I said " gag me! what the fuck? what are we supposed to be looking for? Mr. Financial Wizard Schmuck whom works at AIG or on Wall Street? " the point is this, single, heterosexual women are being told, by other hetero. women themselves; that they must lower their standards and always act the
" lady" in order to win the prize!
that being " Mr. Right" who will not only commit to you forever??? , but will be the leader, the willing husband and father; and yes- the PRIMARY WAGE EARNER! and yes, funny how many so called " feminists" , like my very own married and two-months' pregnant neice in oregon; are buying into this " what it takes to be truly happy" fucking bullshit.
having read a dating advice column for lesbians called the 'four sisters groove', I had noticed how much more focused upon what it REALLY TAKES to make a relationship work; the girls writing it were. now if only the
" fluff and cinderella fairytales" dating advice columnists whom write for match.com/other dating sites, well as nearly every major woman's magazine besides Bitch and Ms. ; would learn something from the four sisters groove; maybe feminist theory will truly evolve!

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