I'll try to restrain the tears. I've seen pictures of the author and she's an attractive woman.

She should talk to my sister sometime, who has chronic, flaking psoriasis, and see what it's like to go through life with actual social problems and widespread abuse from shallow people. I wonder if even Ms. Ginsberg would have treated my sis with the affection she deserves. Nobody else did other than my fam.

I also couldn't get out of my mind the massive number of vainglorious women who intentionally augment their breasts. Who would do that when it's so obviously horrible to have them? Hmmm, I wonder how awful this condition really is.

"Woe is me! Men want me sexually and people treat me differently because I have great big breasts and I'm pretty. Boo hoo."

I guess I should walk a mile in her shoes before getting so testy over this stuff, but I've seen the other side and it gets far nastier. Some people would love to have even one man lean out of a car to say he wants to f--k them, because nobody else has said it all their lives.

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What's missing here is any attempt at a solution. I recall that this article has a 'subtitle,' if you will: "Can't we get over our obssession with breasts?"

Well, no, probably not. Certainly not unless we try to figure out the cause of the obssession, and to identify some treatments for it. The author wrote nothing in that direction; instead, she simply described the problem. Very thoroughly.

I don't doubt that her suffering is real, and it's sadly typical that some of the comments here have already supported her claims. But when one calls attention to a problem, one should be ready to offer a solution. Otherwise, one is just complaining.

Though I don't like to be pessimistic (really I don't), I for one do not see a solution in the big picture. Neither does this author, evidently, or she'd have described it. After all, we're primates; we have primate brains. There's just so much you can expect from us, and no more. We're not even bright enough to take care of our planet.

This world is a place where we spend a little time and daily we are offered opportunities to show compassion. Even, and especially, when we ourselves are not shown compassion. We are in charge of our reactions to the world around us.

Of course one could try to change the world. But even the author herself, who has the most to gain by trying to change the world -- both for herself and for the many thousands of women and, yes, men, who, like her, are mistaken for what they are not -- isn't working for change. Given that, acceptance appears to be the only answer.

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I have a very close friend with exactly the same situation. But at the end of the day, the unwanted attention is not nearly as bad as someone having to deal with an aspect of their physique that is seen as unattractive by everyone else - weight issues, skin issues, but more than anything, issues that they can do nothing about. Imagine being bullied and teased and alienated because you have facial eczema, for example.

Yes there is crap you have to put up with because you've got big tits but at the end of the day, you have to put up with it from idiots rather than decent people. So whilst your article is a legitimate argument, please spare a thought for those in a much worse situation - and realize that you're own predicament really isn't all that bad.

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Something memorable from highschool biology was how a species of fish had females with a swollen belly, indicating a fertile phase. Guess what: researchers could really draw the males' attention by putting absurdly exaggerated dummies in the water - the bigger the better.
Now, let us put two and two together: not only are we animals, we are mammals. The author's predicament should not come as a big surprise.
Being a male, it often irks me that I cannot ignore the visual clues provided by the female counterparts chest area. But there is also a large body of research demonstrating that humans are distracted (and mislead) by all kinds of irrelevant visuals, especially 'beauty'.
There's a reason why in the US (but unfortunately not in other countries) job applicants do not send in a portrait photo. How they look tells little about their competence.

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American males are strangely obsessed with breasts...that's not true of other cultures, who are more into legs and butts. Is it an Oedipal thing? Are they looking for their mommy?

Personally I think the sexiest aspects of a woman is her eyes and what they express, as well as her intelligence.

Women are treated as sex objects or baby factories by insecure and intellectually challenged males (they are many in the world apparently, some make it a religion, like the fundamentalist Muslim and Christians) who only feel good when they keep a woman "in her place"(down), so that they won't be threatened and get limp. It's basically so they can get and keep a hard-on...that what sexism is, really, if you think about it. That's why intelligent, ambitious and confident women are invariably called bitches (like Hilary Clinton), and assumed to be frigid and castrating. The male of the species still does not have the confidence to deal with an equal female (look how in the 50's the "ideal" woman was portrayed in the movies as helpless, hysterical and childlike, and treated as such by the men...and women who were sexual were portrayed as vampires, predators out to destroy men-read take their dominant power away).

So if you understand, you can have a good laugh about it. Too bad so many women try to fit in that game and stab each other in the back, competing for the approval of insecure morons.

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This article could ONLY come out of America. As that great Scots poet Robbie Burns said, "O a god the gifte ge us to see oursels as others see us." Good luck with your new president, those of us in "the rest of the world", yes, I know, but Dorthy there is a "rest of the world", are hoping beyond hope he succeeds. America, even though you often make us "roll our eyes" we love you.

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If one looks at the historical developments of this unique species of ours, with respect to social, economic, political and other aspects, it's difficult to find any more central elements than that of Land and that of Woman. Especially since the advent of Capital, this cannot but be more evident.

In the central economic component of Property and theories of ownership, trade, production and reproduction, exchange, etc. what can be more central than Land and Woman, the female in her concrete or elevated representational and symbolic forms?? Boobs sell!! Just like any other attribute of a woman, in theories of trade, exchange, value, etc. what can be more lucrative than the Body of a Woman? Consider the vast industries risen up around just this one Object, in its various Parts as well as the Whole!!

So, indeed, as this writer aptly and progressively points out: it would indeed be a Great Leap Forward, one almost, but not quite, unimaginable to........"get over it"!! Can we? A bit of Hegel might be worth checking out: this would be not a "transcendence" -- it would be an "Overcoming".

In the final analysis, it's about Property -- who has it and who doesn't and why.

This writer's struggle and her courage to describe her struggles is admirable. That she has reached an evident adulthood and challenged the immense pressures of social regressionisms and backwardness we all have been raised with since birth is nothing short of astonishing.

Kudos! Let's definitely "get over it"!!

Social democracy!

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May I suggest that your problem is not your breasts, but your obsession with them, and with yourself.

If I had a penny for every time I was picked on in Jr. High, having my lunch money taken every day wouldn't have mattered. But I have yet to publish a 4 page article about it.

If it makes you feel better, booties seem to have taken their rightful place alongside breasts these days.

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I bet most of us remember high school with horror. Everyone who was different from the herd was picked on. The author needs to get over herself.

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I don't know where the author grew up or went to school but I find it difficult to believe that she was held down and groped while everyone around her did nothing, including teachers. Teachers? Come on!!!

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I'd like to express both appreciation and sympathy for Ms. Ginsberg's article. Like her, I went from flat-chested to a D-cup at 14, then to an G after pregnancy, then by age 50 to a K. (think small watermelon.) Finally, a couple years ago, at 62, I had a breast reduction, back to a "petite" D. I wish I had done it years ago, but I'm just grateful I finally did.

At my age, I was no longer embarrassed by hormonal teenage boys staring at my boobs. (Though they still did and that really felt Oedipal!) I was more concerned about unremitting pain in my back and neck, the deep grooves in my shoulders from years of bra straps grinding into them, not being able to sleep on my back because the boobs nearly suffocated me, and other physical impediments that probably seem inconsequential, but definitely are not.

I went through all the same taunting and sexist targeting the author did. The only difference between huge breasts and a missing limb or a devastating skin condition is their social acceptability. They are a very easy target for cruelty. I dealt with it by joking right along with those making jokes, and by self-deprecation.

But the bottom line was the physical pain, and the reduction was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. It's not the answer for everyone, but I sure do love the absence of pain and freedom of movement.

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Those teenage years suck don't they? I was slender and never had the problem the author has but I can see where she would have gone through hell. I remember being 11 years old and riding my bike in my neighborhood and a pickup pulling up next to me, a man leaning out and saying "the body's not bad but the face...". That moment was a turning point. I had always felt good about myself until then. All of a sudden, I felt ugly and ashamed. I went home and stayed in my room for the rest of the day. I still remember that guy. I'm 47 now and it still hurts.

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i no longer visit alternet with any hope for valid news or commentary. I come here for the same reason I watch fox news: Entertainment. Stupidity is pretty funny a lot of the time.

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Are you nuts? While I pity you for having spent your formative years around budding rapists; I'm sorry to tell you that your proposed solution, is unworkable.

Guys, like breasts. Get over it. Feel free to analyze why if you like. But quite frankly, your experiences growing up, are no cause for me to change the enjoyment of one of nature's finest treasures.

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So here's an alternate scenario:

Let's say young men have to walk around with their sexual equipment fully exposed. Now, let's say women get to taunt the boys/men on the size of their penis. Let's also say that women are physically stronger than men, so that when the women taunt them, there's fear involved as well.

Let's try to use a little empathy ...

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I can't pretend to truly understand the author (because I'm male) but my late wife taught me something important in her quite and sensitive way. Physical attributes may get us a "first look", but it's what's inside that counts.
She was not the most "Barbie-like" woman you would ever meet, but I found her very attractive because I took the time to get to know her personality traits.
The bottom line is that while breasts are nice (I won't lie about my male attractiveness to them), a "real man" will take the time to get to know the person inside the physical shell.
To the author, there are still many "real men" out there. I hope find one and if you already have, appreciate it while you can. Sometimes those you love are taken away from you before their time.

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The Author is getting a lot of attention but she is not satisfied. She wants more attention, hence her writing.

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If we as shallow individual’s emphasis the physical, then it is were “we” as a people will remain, on the outside. The street hosts a multi direction of mentalities.

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as I am because you look at women as people, not sex objects.

So as far as a woman's boobs, I couldn't care less ladies!

Gay guys are the ones who can probably truly say that they admire a woman more for her mind then her body.

It never ceases to amaze (and amuse) when I observe "straight" guys dealing with women. They are either like a fawning puppy dog, or conversely; a rutting bull elk determined to dominate them and make them part of their harem.

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Just who is contributing to this mania? Why, it's the women themselves. They make the boobs bigger, they make them stick out farther, they push them up, they squeeze them together and make the necklines plunge. They are making themselves into sex objects and then complaining that they are not taken seriously. Same with the long, skinny, flowing blonde hair for young to old.

Frankly, I don't take them seriously. They look foolish, like a walking doll waiting to be picked up.

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3,000 words about your ass?

OK.

If you haven't got a life, and if anybody really gives a shit.

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Goffman wrote:

“The term stigma, then, will be used to refer to an attribute that is deeply discrediting, but it should be seen that a language of relationships, not attributes, is really needed.”

The individual who bears the stigma ceases to be a “whole, usual person” and becomes a “tainted, discounted one.”

If Goffman was right about this, then the harm an individual endures originates in their being identified as different in some important way. They become their stigma. It does not matter much if the “difference which makes a difference” is, in general, positively or negatively valued. The key effect is the alienation produced when someone is identified as different.

Some of the loneliest persons I have known in my life were gorgeous women. There is little good that can be said about a life spent in the Gilded Cage. And emerging from that cage requires struggle and depends on the good will of others.

I’d say the author expresses an authentic complaint.

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You'll find in Egyptian and Indian sculpture and artwork a whole lotta PERFECT breasts. When's the last time you saw a perfect (natural) breast?

I guarantee you that it was men who sculpted those breasts found on the goddesses of both cultures.

For you to wish men to "get over" breasts is to wish for them to no longer have the inherent biological desire to procreate.

Welcome to the world.

Do you make a substantial income? Get a reduction. I've had two friends do the same, and they not only had a better time of themselves socially, but their spines were no longer getting twisted out of sorts.

I'm not making any excuses or justifications for the assholes out there who can't see PAST breasts.

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AW damnit - why is no picture of the author included with this article so we can judge for ourselves if they are 'too large'?

Not to seem crude (too late?), but in these matters I often take an evolutionary perspective.

As a very obvious physical feature which often indicates high fertility amongst women your very (!) large breasts automatically/instinctually make you more attractive to a larger number of potential males who would be more than willing to donate their time and sperm to impregnate you if you wanted them to. You should consider yourself lucky to have been born with your gigantic breasts as they very much enhance the odds that you (personally, along with your family/tribe/ethnic group) will pass on your DNA to future generations unlike many other people without such out-in-the-open physically alluring secondary sex characteristics.

Or you can just consider them a blessing from Venus, the goddess of beauty, sensual/sexual love, and fertility. Or just keep wearing loose fitting shirts on the days you are feeling particularly self-conscious about how big and 'out there' they are as you said you do sometimes.

But do realize that your very large breasts are an physical asset, a definite evolutionary advantage like a round shapely butt on a woman, or soft-clear-smooth facial skin, a good waist-to-hip ratio, or nice sexy legs, or softish non-protruding feminine facial features (small nose, small chin, etc), plump pink lips, shortish height, etc...very, very few males are complaining about these features which indicate fertility and health, as I said we humans respond instinctually to all of this...just as very few females complain about males with big strong looking jawlines or chins or brows, or who are taller than the average height for that particular society, or males with larger than average penises (though large penises obviously aren't as physically obvious as breasts are, though neither is a woman's vagina), wide shoulders, big arms, etc.

And I haven't even gone in to eyes, hair, teeth, skin tones, unique body odor, etc etc as they apply to both genders...yup, thanks to racial/ethnic differences human biodiversity is downright incredible. All of us humans are usually lacking in some of these areas while well represented in others areas as you are with your breasts and presumably other areas like your shortish height, as I am in terms of strong and traditionally masculine facial features, a very well shaped nose, a larger than average penis size, and decent natural musculature (for a White guy), and others. On the flip side though, I'm only average height for an American male (just a bit over 5'10"), I have a lot of body hair, my skin and hair and eyes are light colored (it's been proven that women prefer men with darker skin and darker overall features), I'm slowly balding, etc. Just work with what you have been born with and matured in to, play up your 'good' features and play down your 'bad' features - and work around your physical insecurities because all humans have them.

So...have a bouncy day!

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It is such a fun word to say! And it sounds sophisticated, too.

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All personal derogations of appearance should be viewed as a BS detector--a sure sign that you should be somewhere else, with better people.

Unfortunately, the employment market just won't allow us to do that. The only difference between big breasts and eczema is that one is more lucrative in the employment market and marriage market than the other.

By the time you reach age 30, the realization slowly sinks in that most people never were graduated from high school, emotionally. These often are the first to justify their maladaptive behaviors with GED-level pop psychology which exonerates them and excoriates you.

Don't speak Spanish to a Chinaman or fluent Mandarin to the deaf. A well-chosen finger and "ESAD" is all this kind are capable of comprehending.

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Form follows function: Women have to stop referring to their breasts as "boobs". Maybe when we respect ourselves by not using derogatory words, then the respect from others will follow.
BTW, the "N" word that's used by Afro Americans fits in this category as well!

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Don't accept any blame or guilt for being human. Put the blame and guilt where it belongs ... on the carnal advertising world where concepts of beauty, desirability, the 'in-things', the sexual standards, the 'role models' for men, women, and children are set in the executive rooms in order to 'SELL, SELL, SELL!' Because we expose ourselves to these false standards daily we come to believe the lie. It has nothing to do with reality or your self concept unless you buy into these degenerate and false ideals of human worth and value. Thank God for your health and blessings. Your body is the temple of Christ! Your body is NOT defective, ugly, or unworthy in the eyes of God. I remember growing up when woman exposed their breasts in public while feeding their child. They received very little notice. It was accepted as a 'normal' and beautiful thing to behold. The Advertising World has so distorted our self-image that many can no longer function in a healthy manner. I apologize to you and all women who are put into such straits by a dominant world of ungodly men. You are not the cause, you are the victim.

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I can't imagine being repeatedly groped. They are just dumb kids and kids can be just plain mean but I can't imagine the teachers standing back and doing nothing.

It must have been a very powerless feeling.

I'm not gonna say it could be worse, it could always be worse, that doesn't say anything at all except that we live in a world of shit.

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Two women I know well got breast reduction surgery. They both LOVED the results.

They said that men immediately began to treat them with more respect.

The idea that women with big breasts are sexually slutty is insane, stupid and ridiculous and it has NOTHING to do with "the mammalian brain." It is just sexism.

Both had had lots of problems as teenagers, exactly as the writer lays out, and it was damaging.

Anything beyond a D is a burden and health insurance should pay for the surgery.

The girls getting breast augmentation (on breasts which don't need them, which is anything B or bigger) are sick. Or, they simply don't understand the abuse they will get.

Many's the case of women getting the augmentation surgery, then having it undone once they live the life.

Just speaking from what I've heard about this problem.

I'd also like to say that the truth of the author's statements about the rotten, anti-female behavior of women toward her is confirmed by the comments to the article -- look how MEAN these women are!

It is ACCEPTABLE for women to be mean to women with big breasts or women who are otherwise attractive. It is NOT acceptable to be mean to women who has skin problems -- that's the difference.

That's the reason for the article.

My advice -- save up and get the surgery.

Jan VanDenBerg

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Those who do not have the intelligence to get over EITHER of the following;

1: "Women with big boobs are bimbos".

2: "All men are obsessed with big boobs".

They are both bullshit sexist attitudes of those who are boobs as it relates to intellect.

I'm a man and am absolutely NOT obsessed with "big boobs".
I also know some women with "big boobs' who happen to be intelligent.

Those of you who are sexist, and you KNOW who you are and, so do your friends, cannot get past this bullshit.
It's too bad for you, not for me.

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And if that costs me my chances of getting married, I still won't budge ! Besides, I studied about those silicon breast implants and even my father defended me when he found out the truth on that issue.

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First I am male, I am not sure how this comment classifies me, but, whatever size, shape or color, I think they are most attractive make that great

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sad to say i was one of those boys when i was in jr high and high school in the 80s...always staring and trying to catch a feel.

it is something i am happy to say i grew out of but i know many of my classmates that did not.

my wife has large breasts and it not always comfortable in public but she dresses modestly and takes no 'stuff' from strangers. she too grew too big too fast and faced the same harassment the writer faced in school.

i will share this with my wife....very good read.

and again i am sorry

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How is it that you are ignoring the fact that this woman's education was compromised by her school's inattention to her safety and wellbeing? This article isn't about 'poor me, my bust is big' -- it's about how many people took advantage of a YOUNG GIRL and screwed up the course of her life as best they could by sexually assaulting her in her school hallway, belittling her, ignoring her pleas for help, and then using their power as teachers and so-called administrators, to further sexually harrass her.

Her school was criminal. And she was punished for it.

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the writer could have had really small breasts that got her constant ridicule in the form of "oh, I thought you were a boy" or "I thought your head was on backwards" or even a comment from a FEMALE boss in a meeting declaring that I had the smallest breasts she had ever seen. It never stopped through the years, no matter the age of the commenter. If you had small breasts and wore a padded bra, then you got ridiculed for wearing "falsies". Boys, with other girls snickering on the side, would hold up wadded-up toilet paper, and declare, "hey, did you lose this?" But if I or anyone else in the same situation had made mention that their seemed to be a "void" in the front of the guy's pants, heavens, I would have been taken to detention or expelled!
Nothing fits. You can't bend over unless you have a high neckline, because if you do, you see the whole breast, or bra, and heaven knows, you can't show that evil aerola! BTW, a bra IS pointless, the only reason to wear one is to cover that nasty aerola.
Americans are so obsessed with breasts that it's ridiculous. It's nothing but skin and muscle and glands! It's not nasty or mysterious. Get over it!

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Ok, she would have gone to jail but at least that kick or shot would have sent a strong message that the school system is sexist. Rosa Parks led the way against racial segregation.

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Wow. I guess Americans really are living in the frakin' 50s.

When Obama was running against Hillary Clinton, a girlfriend of mine commented that "Americans would vote in a black man before a woman".

I guess there's truth in why American girls like to date we Canadian boys. Apparently, we aren't complete assholes.

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Our society is determined to make women feel bad about their bodies, and it has done a pretty good job of it.

Some of the most beautiful women I know are harshly critical of their own appearance, while even the most out-of-shape guys are cool with themselves. That's some incredible social pressure and conditioning our sisters have to bear.

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Nice story, I can relate, I'm a male and my penis always seemed to distract the opposite sex. Seemed the females always wanted to see what I had (I'm not complaining) Although I only experienced one sexual assault. It was with a woman whom I didn't have a whole lot of respect for, not that it was garnered anyway. Sounds like you are a mature 25 year old, kudos to you for succinctly putting out this real sociological theory.

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I believe that men are hardwired to react to the female body. The more beautiful in the eyes of the beholder the more reaction elicited. Throughout the centuries the female body has been glorified in art for that very reason. While many women will take umbrage with the male gender for reacting, others will be flattered. I don't think hiding your assets is the way to go either. One very well built lady of my acquaintance used to tell of encounters in the hallway of her office (legal). If she was coming around a corner and accidentally ran into one of the lawyers, he wouldn't say "excuse me", he would say "thank you". I think she has the right idea, keep it light and funny and you shouldn't have any trouble.

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We need to adjust our attitudes, starting with you, Alternet. The word isn't "boobs." That's a vulgarity, and even if people toss it around, that doesn't mean Alternet has to. The word is "breasts" or "busts."

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Quote: "Mine are really big -- and they're a burden. They come with the label "airhead" and "slut." Will we ever end our collective obsession with boobs?"

Doubtful, unless considerate people everywhere wishing for such an end themselves learn to refrain from describing, for whatever reasons, female breasts as "boobs", and remember instead that "boobs" more appropriately describe those obsessed with female breasts.

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I think that is certainly a dynamic coming into play here. There has been a lot of fuss about women breastfeeding in public, for example. I think breast represent warmth and security. Just how we all got away from this basic natural fact is not too clear. But few modern people are comfortable in their skin, let alone reconciled with the fact that we are all flesh. There are cultural differences as well. Americans are extremely uncomfortable with breasts on public display, whereas Europeans are perfectly happy going topless on beaches. I would have like more discussion around these issues.

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"As a heterosexual female, I appreciate that it’s difficult for me to comment meaningfully on what makes a woman sexually attractive, but really, it’s the equivalent of a man’s attractiveness being judged solely by the size of the bulge in his pants, which is surely not an attitude that anybody with any aesthetic taste or basic respect for their fellow humans would take."

No, it isn't the equivalent. I understand why you said that; the refusal to see people as different is at the very core of the mistake called "Feminism".

It is the equivalent of a man's attractiveness being judged by his "image" (clothing, car, house, etc.) demonstrating wealth and position, and by manifestations of his "alphaness".

I would not be at all surprised to see some feminist replying to this with a statement about how finding a man that can 'provide' being hardwired into the female brain, and therefore it is OK, and that what a woman finds attractive is not a choice, but is a feeling. Traditional feminists, like neo-cons, tend to struggle with balancing hypocrisy and ignorance.

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Say it again, sister. For me, it started when I was twelve and clueless. Garbagemen, shopkeepers, men on the subway, construction workers, guys just hanging out on street corners, they all had something to say. If they were close enough, they grabbed. I had started to jog in the mornings -- had to give that up. Now, I'm middle-aged and shapeless and no one bothers me. I'm pretty much invisible and that's great.

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But, stretching an "B" idea into a "double D" article was really impressive. Just a head's up: we won't care about your bat mitzvah, wedding, wedding night, affair, your spouse's affairs, PMS, menopause or inevitable slide into age-based dementia, either.

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it's what makes Hooters such a great place to eat!

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Possibly the most complex of relationships exist between men and women, and this possibly goes as much for the women we don’t know as the ones we do know.

While I am sure there are boys who will grope a girl’s breasts without first asking permission, I never actually witnessed any such behaviour during my adolescence.

In those days, there were two types of girls. There were the odd one or two that I actually found the courage to talk to and get to know, and then there were the vast number of girls who I deemed too beautiful or good looking, and which for me was an insurmountable barrier to me going up to them and actually conversing with them.

These untouchable girls didn’t necessarily have big breasts. It was the way they stood, the way they walked, the way they dressed, the way they applied their make up, the way they did their hair, the way they talked, the way they ran their hands through their hair, the way they smiled, the way they fluttered their eyelashes.

But mostly, it was the shape of their arse.

My teenage girlfriend did not have particularly big breasts. But she had a pair of thighs……

But big breasts aside, I have often felt more than a tinge of jealousy for females who are well endowed, for it seems that all they have do to get their own way is to wiggle their backsides, and men will get down on the knees to do their bidding (and why not!).

It’s not fair. Men, alas, just don’t have the advantages of women, and have to resort to such things as charm, intelligence, wit and personality to achieve the same end result.

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You seem preoccupied with your breasts to an extreme. It is likely that no one gives much thought to your breasts beyond what comments they may make to you. The fact that you seem to regard breasts as some special case unlike, apparently, having a prominent nose, chin, behind or any other body part serves as evidence of how self involved you really are. I don’t give much thought to any woman’s breasts let alone feel inclined to give dirty looks on account of them. Perhaps women don’t like you because you are a bit self absorbed and make absurd statements like:

“After all, I happily walk down the street every day looking like I do. But nevertheless, admitting that I have a 23-inch waist and E-cup breasts (how brazen!) gave me visions of lots of angry women scowling at their monitors and fuming, "The stuck-up bitch! Who does she think she is? I mean, it’s as if she’s actually proud of her goddamn 'perfect figure.'”

The brazen thing isn’t that you are happy with your physique but that you believe anyone is so preoccupied with your self image that they would give it much thought at all. People have all sorts of challenges, some far more harrowing than having larges breasts, but they move on and don’t imagine that legions of others are fuming, to use your word, or fixated on their experience in general.

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Disclaimer: I never had large breasts growing up, but I was attractive and completely ignorant of how sexuality was supposed to be negotiated. This led to a lot of unwanted attention. It also lead me to exploit myself in the sex industry the entire time I was an undergraduate in order to pay for school. And it lead to statutory rape, bad situations, and finally a date rape that lead to PTSD.

And where is all this going? After I quit smoking and had my first child, I followed in the family tradition and got fat. And a miracle happened. No more unwanted attention. My ideas suddenly took front and center. I no longer felt vulnerable and exposed while walking down the street. People ignored me, and I loved it. It is almost like wearing a burqua--when people pay attention to me, they pay attention to ME--not my ass.

Sure, some people don't treat me well offhand because of my size, but it is an easy way to figure out who is shallow and trying to use me. Something I had trouble discerning when I was younger. I don't miss my looks. Not one bit. They caused me nothing but grief. My advice: dress for comfort, toss the make-up and the razors, and don't give a damn about male attention. In the end, it only reminds you that you are powerless. Take your own power and use it to be who you want to be. Maybe the author couldn't do that as easily, being that her chest acted as a lamplight for sleaze-moths, but rejecting femininity can go a long way to making a woman feel safer and less dependent on male attention for self-worth.

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I know this is going to get me into trouble but it needs saying as long as I took the time to read the complete article about one woman's breasts. I was one of those hormonal, stupid jerks that used to try to cop a feel of one girl in my class who had breasts that made every male in the school drool. And she was pretty in the fashion of the day. Somehow, some way, this girl and I had a one-month puppy love, pin you type of relationship where we may have kissed on the lips twice. I got to know her as a person and stopped reacting to her breasts. In fact, for some reason unknown to myself I never dated another girl throughout junior or senior high school who had larger than average size breasts. But it was never the size of their breasts alone that attracted me. It was their overall figure and (I know you won't believe it) personality. As I have grown older I have learned that body image is a complicated game that we all play with throughout life but it is only one part of the whole person. I certainly don't want to have a dialogue with breasts or vaginas. I want to form a bond that includes both physical, mental,emotional, and spiritual aspects in equal parts. Lastly, and this is true, I worked in a company where two female friends had breast surgery at the same time. One had enhancement and one had reduction. Both seemed pleased. Thank goodness people come in all sizes, shapes, and colors. Likewise, thank technology that changes can sometimes be made to our physical attributes that make us happy, if only for a fleeting moment. Otherwise it would be very boring. If only it were so easy to change our inner self. Hopefully this young woman of 25? has rid herself of this complex by writing a therapeutic essay.

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It's funny a lot of respondants seem to think they read an article about breasts.

I read an article about the aftermath of sexual assault and sexual harrassment that left the author with body image issues and self esteem issues that she's working out as best she can.

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I too have a boob fetish but I would never behave in a sexually aggressive manner with a women because of it. Women with really big tits, if they are otherwise thin or proportioned, have a very striking presence and are really hot, I must say. I try not to stare but it's not always easy. I find nice tits overwhelming.

When I was younger I had a few large breasted girlfriends. It was great fun. If guys were more gentlemanly tits would be more fun. It's the old problem of people ruining things for themselves with their stupid behavior.

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No kid should have to put up with the stuff the author did. BUT!!!!!! When you said "Just take a look at FHM. They’re all hot and ready bimbos presented as receptacles existing solely for male entertainment." So you call these girls you don't know Bimbo's because they pose in a bikini for FHM.

Isn't your whole article about how you were judged and its wrong? Then you make a bimbo comment. I guess this is 3000 words of hypocracy.

Keep these articles in your diary where they belong. I come to alternet to learn something. Instead I got a story about a girl talking about her boobs.

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What a shockingly disgusting group of people the writer had to deal with. If someone who was built like this author told me this story when I was in high school, I would've thought she was exaggerating (having never experienced anything of the sort myself). It's depressing but important for us to hear these stories. I think we believe we've come a long way as women, but clearly we haven't come far enough. If I had a daughter being propositioned, harassed, and humiliated in this manner, heads would roll! If I ever caught a male teacher doing that to my child, I would immediately call the cops and try to resist the urge to find the creep and shoot his nads off. I can only hope my sons will not be a part of any group of boys who would participate in this hurtful, abusive, moronic behavior toward women.

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I'm over 50 and have the opposite problem... I barely fill an 'A' cup unless it's padded, and I've suffered my share of harassment since middle school. I wished for years that I could get a boob job because they are so small and "size" seems to be the main focus when it comes to women's breasts. I've gotten used to it after all these years.

However... I've run across my share of guys who like them small, and the other plus is that they will never sag!

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Tall, slim, young women for example are stereotyped as bitchy fashionistas. Women above a size 10 who – gasp! – don’t hate themselves are "confident, real women." Overweight, middle-aged women are regarded as barely deserving of existence until they give up carbs and get Botox. And young, petite women with big breasts are regarded as "easy."

It's been my experience that those stereotypes are mostly reinforced by women, not men. We men are often crude and sometimes ugly, but women don't get off on this one. Women are meaner about body image to other women than men are by a loooooooooooooooooooong shot.

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Judging by your choice of words, you seem to be English or from the U.K.. The men and boys are just as stupid in the U.S.A.. I know I wouldn't have just ignored boys in high school holding you down to grope you, even if there was overwhelming odds and I knew I would take a beating. One of my three younger sisters is well endowed as you are. I didn't see as much of the harassment to her as you have had but I doubt anybody would have done that to her when I was around. I'm sure she had to endure just as much of it as you have. My sister got married to her high school sweetheart and they have been married for over 25 years. Just remember that the man who is more interested in what's in your heart and in your mind is more important than any part of your body(face, hair, breasts),is the one who is truely looking at you and all your radiant beauty. The rest are just morons.
Keep smiling,
Dave Larsen

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Boobs are among the first things a new born sees, it isn't just men who are fascinated by them. I think it is a natural and healthy response when we appreciate a beautiful woman's breasts and we shouldn't turn it into a feminist tool for division and conflict between sexes as was done in the 1970's.

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Breasts as sexually attractive is something that's very Western I think. And I mean globally Western.

I'm not by any means suggesting that anyone should move, with the exception of some callous commenters and those who feel it's okay to shout inanities at strangers. (Ok. Not them either. Everybody stay where you want.) I'm just saying the thing with breasts isn't everywhere. But the obsession with making women suffer for men's sexual proclivities is common.

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My sentiments on this topic are perhaps best expressed in song.

The Holy Modal Rounders version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd0WOD9yw0E

Fugs version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOIaYGz-vY4

lyrics - Boobs A Lot
Do you like boobs a lot?
(Yes, I like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Really like boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)

Down in the locker room,
Just we boys,
Beatin' down the locker room
With all that noise,

Singin' do you like boobs a lot?
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)

Do you wear your jock a lot?
(Yes, I wear my jock a lot.)
Got to wear your jock a lot.
(Got to wear your jock a lot.)
Jock a lot, jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)
Got to wear your jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)

'Cause, down on the football,
Football field,
You never can tell
What a heel can wield,

So you gotta wear your jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)
Jock a lot, jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)

If I had a flag-a-long,
(If I had a flag-a-long.)
If I had a long flag-a-long,
If I had a long flag-a-long,
If you like boobs a lot, tag along

Bee beep, bop, de boob a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)

They're big and round,
They're all around.
They're big and round,
They're all around.

(MUSICAL BREAK)

Do you like boobs a lot?
(Yes, I like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Do you like boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)

Down in the locker room,
Just we boys,
Beatin' down the locker room
With all that noise,

Singin' do you like boobs a lot?
(Yes I like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)

Do you wear your jock a lot?
(Yes, I wear my jock a lot.)
Got to wear your jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)
Got to wear your jock a lot
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)
Got to wear your jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)

'Cause, down on the football,
Football field,
You never can tell
What a heel can wield,

So you gotta wear your jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)
Jock a lot, jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)

If I had a flag-a-long,
(If I had a flag-a-long.)
If I had a long flag-a-long,
If I had a long flag-a-long,
If you like boobs a lot, tag along

Bee beep, bop, de boob a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)

They're big and round,
They're all around.
They're big and round,
They're all around.

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I am a male who has been guilty of leering at women with large breasts. when I was in high school many years ago, there was a teacher who was "blessed" with large breasts. She was beautiful by any standard. She was subjected to leering boys who congregated along the routes to her classes.I am ashamed to admit I was one of them. Quite suddenly she was gone never to return. I never found out why she left,but it doesn't take much to figure out why. To have been subjected to the leering every day must have been hell for her. When I realized she was gone I felt crummy,but I didn't have enough guts to say so in front of my peers. I hope your life get's easier dealing with unsympathetic people. Your commentary
brought out long buried shame I felt and made me think about my callous behavior, for that I say Thank you.

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I agree that society needs to rethink what is acceptable behavior towards women, and people need to give young girls the self-esteem and awareness to stand up for themselves.
But I don't think "breast prejudice" is as far-reaching as the author explains it. I too have always been uh un-proportioned, small with a notsosmall top, but in no way have I ever experienced some of the extreme behavior the author describes. Yes, some men (generally in shitty cars) are retarded, but I'm sure they treat any good-looking girl that way. If we are going to complain about discrimination, what about the girls with nice butts or pretty faces or long legs? The boobs aren't the central idea (the nipple of rude behavior?), and I think most people would agree. Male lechery is not limited to boobs, female cattiness is not limited to boobs.
And frankly, I admit that I received some unwanted comments and offers in high school (and even now at undergrad parties in college), but they were from guys I never would have worried about anyways... there's no need to spend my life worrying about some guy's comment, he probably said the same thing to someone else the next day.
If more young ladies were secure with themselves, then they could also be more comfortable in standing up for themselves. I regret several instances when I was 14 and I didn't stand up for myself. But I quickly learned a zero-tolerance policy: if some guy is an ass, or even indirectly an ass (looking and not listening) you just got to frown and walk away... try it, it really works. There's a trick to being discriminating but not cold, confident but not bitchy, because coldness and bitchiness puts off a lot of girls. Again, self-esteem would help girls feel secure, and not categorize themselves as "different" from others of the same sex (as the author seems to do.) A lot of girls have big boobs, or a good butt, face, I've already gone through all of this... Personality is what wins people over in the end. Maybe that's too rosy, but personality is an effect of security, education, and healthy families. So there's your macrocosmic theme.

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The kind and gentle child was wounded by the insensitivity of others. Why can't we just learn to care for one another, to understand and empathize, rather than criticize? So many of these comments criticize her sensitivity instead of understanding her pain. Can we understand what we do to our children, the children of our world, by our ignorance of their feelings and insensitivity to their real needs? Why can't we just listen and learn, and realize how many other ways we wound others by our callousness, our judgments, our fears, our envy? Why can't we just accept her, learn from her, and try to empathize with others struggling with their wounds?

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There is rumored to be a class of men who can shut off their attraction to adult women. They are called priests. OK, most of the priests are attracted to women too, but they're tough about it. But then some go off and get married and no one likes to talk about that.

We men see round objects and go crazy. This type of reaction may be something outside of women's experience, so just trust the research on this phenomenon.

Average women have evolved over hundreds of generations to grow large enough round objects on their chests to attract a lover, then a mate. Human breasts are to attract the man to the woman's front side so that the man bonds for life with a particular woman's face.

Some women are really all set in the mate attraction area, however, large breasts are painful and they have a greater risk of developing breast cancer. Overly large breasts don't help much -- a woman can only use one lifetime mate at a time, so attracting 10 or 100 mates is counterproductive. The ability to attract 1 mate is sufficient.

The author wants us all to understand how rotten boys and men in general have treated her because of her large breasts. They have and she's right.

If men were in charge, perhaps all public female sexuality would be banned. That's what the Taliban did. Of course the banning of female sexuality didn't quite work, because female sexual availability and desire will never be hidden underneath a burqa, anymore than designating some man as a priest with a collar will end his sexual desires.

If we ever want to make this sexual harassment better, we have to get men and women too to accept the problem of physical male turn-ons. Women have either a gift or a skill at hiding their sexual intentions. Men are quite stupid in lust when their emotions take over. Just as bad, men get into mass melees in bars or at drunken weddings, often punching anyone at random. It's a survival instinct from thousands of generations of battles.

Men rape. In a generation that has seen little warfare within the U.S. borders, a pretty large percentage of women have been raped. Many other women have been pushed farther in sex than they wanted to go. Vast numbers of girls become pregnant without actually wanting a baby. Boys and men hitting on clearly sexually mature girls/women, as described above, is shocking in its commonplaceness. Boys using coercion to grope girls is again common, even though sexual assault is a criminal offense.

I could apologize for my species but you are my species too. I carry one X gene. You have two of the same gene. Any latent tendency to rape within my genes, you will equally pass on to your own sons.

Set limits, set cultural norms to allow women to have rights, but understand that if society tries too hard to abolish sex, both girls and boys will rebel.

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I am extremely left on most issues and do believe that women are sexualized all too often and turned into objects, however I like boobies and appreciate every part of a woman's body because its beautiful. I think the human body, male or female, is amazing and is something that deserves admiration.

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It is terrible, Ms Ginsberg, that you had so many awful things done to you as you were growing up. The people responsible should have been disciplined by legal means. Did you tell your parents, and what did they say? If you were my daughter, I would have immediately hired a lawyer and seen about sending you to private school or moving to another district at your preference.

But it is wrong to conclude, therefore, that people should ignore the physical appearance of others, or that specifically men should ignore women's breasts. It's simply part of human biology that we pay attention to physical features in others, especially those features which we lack in ourselves. Are you saying we should be robots, and unconcerned about sex or reproduction?

My mother always had large breasts, but my sister didn't until she was 50. I don't know exactly why, but I have always been attracted to women with large breasts. But when I try to get close to the women I am most attracted to, which is not simply for their breasts or other physical features but mostly for how they behave, I am always rebuffed with a message that I should go away because I am only interested in boobs and sex. Isn't that cruel also?

I am 53 years old and have been celibate for nearly my entire life. All I want is to find a partner I can live with and love for the rest of my life. I am not interested in casual sex. Many flat chested women think I am very sexy, even though I am short. I am a very successful creative and intellectual professional. I have a very active social life. But I know, from experience, that there is no use in trying to stay faithful to someone if you aren't both physically and emotionally attracted to them. I feel sorry for gay guys like Leonard Bernstein who had trouble with heterosexual marriage. But for most of my life, I have been heartbroken because the women I am most attracted to simply dismiss my interest in them, often without even giving me much chance to talk with them.

Despite her large breasts, my mother thought I should love a thin girl instead the ones she called "fat". And what about all those girls and guys whose fat all accumulates around their waist instead of their breasts? You can look attractive by typical standards without losing weight, but they can't.

My sister is much more supportive of my preferences. She says my breast fetish is just fine and natural. Keep after the women that attract you, she says, and one day you will find one. We all have some kind of fetish. She was lucky to find a husband who was more attracted to thin flat chested women who like classical music.

And there is nothing necessarily exploitative about women and men being attracted to different things, given the nature of human sexuality and our need to pair bond for a long time. It is only natural, according to evolutionary psychology, for men to be attracted more to physical attributes like breasts which imply sexual maturity and strength, and women to be more attracted to the mental or emotional attributes which would make possible a long term successful commitment.

But here other people promote the view that only physical attributes are important, or must match in kind. Therefore, the sexy-looking woman with large breasts "must" be paired with the sexy-looking tall and angular man (and, it is not crotch so much as tallness which is the attribute most heterosexual women are attracted to).

I myself try not to be bound by preconceived notions about who I am attracted to. But time and time again, the women I fall in love with the most are the ones who have large breasts. I can only hope to find one who hasn't already bought off on the notion that men being attracted to breasts is very wrong, or that all men are scum, which unfortunately they often seem to get from terrible experiences growing up.

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My penis is so big I have to strap it to my leg otherwise it looks like a fish is flopping around in my trousers. I have to endure snide remarks from both men and women, and the constant come-ons are just unbearable. Why can't everyone respect my privacy and just leave me alone?!!!

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All you guys saying "you think you have it bad" or "author, get over it": imagine these groping incidents - held down and grabbed and fondled in public - gross comments, indifference of teachers, openly saying "I jerk off thinking of raping you", and projected feelings of rage, jealousy and hate, all based on breast size, imagine everything she wrote about happening to your sister, your girlfriend, your, cousin, your wife, your mother,your DAUGHTER, and then you saying your comments to THEIR FACES. Hold that thought and image, please.

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Really some of the comments on this article are completely tasteless. Is it really necessary to reinforce this woman's feelings of victimization by blaming her for the stereotyping inflicted on her by others? (Rhetorical question). Telling her to learn to enjoy a situation she finds horrific is even less helpful. Nor is it at all useful to try to psychoanalyze the author. Even a licensed psychiatrist would have to talk to her first at some length and in a clinical setting before attempting a diagnosis. How many readers here are licensed psychiatrists?. . .yes, I thought not. And for those who are completely incapable of reading cultural cues, the author was quite obviously educated in a British school system, either in Great Britain itself or elsewhere in the Commonwealth, not in the USA.

I can only say that as a male, I enjoy looking at attractive teats (a response that seems to be hardwired), although, as I also like to think I have some self-respect, I try to satisfy the urge with magazines that cater to it. Staring at women in public is distinctly rude for any male who considers himself in any degree civilized. Not to mention catcalling and such pranks that often seem an attempt to validate masculinity, a practice that calls that very masculinity into question.

And as a point of information, the correct word is "teat" spelled thus and pronounced as though it were spelled "tit". This is one of the peculiarities of English orthography, handed down to us from the Anglo-Saxon tongue. Though often considered mere slang or a vulgarism by those ignorant of their own language, "teat" is the only word in English that refers exactly and specifically to the milk-producing structures in all mammals, including human females. The word comes to us direct from Old English, aka Anglo-Saxon. All other words in common use are either slang, euphemisms or medical jargon. "Breast" for example refers properly to the front of a human chest, whether male or female. For "bosom", we need only remember "Abraham's bosom" to realize that it is not an exclusively female term. Mammary refers properly speaking only to the milk-producing glands themselves. I find "boob" especially objectionable as it suggests imbecility, a handicap totally unrelated to teat size.

Forgive me if I seem to lecture. I am simply trying to inject a bit of sense into a discussion that seems scant on information and teeming with prejudice of various kinds. As Socrates is said to have advised, "First define your terms."

With love under will,

Bob, Adastra,
The Wizzard of Jacksonville

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While reading this I initially thought this article was by someone who had experienced these assaults more than 30 years ago. But, when she said that she was 25, I couldn't believe that there was as much stupidity, malevolence and lack of legal/administrative recourse as there seems to be in these "modern" times.

Even making allowances for the fact that this happened in Britain, and not the ever-litigious U.S.A., I still have trouble understanding how what happened to her could continue with supposed adults around her. After the first several paragraphs I was asking myself; Where are her parents/guardians? They certainly were not doing their job. After the first time she complained to a supposedly responsible adult and got no help, she had to have talked with her parents, yes? Surely some of the fault lies with them in what appears to be a complete shirking of their duties.

There's no getting around the fact that if the vast majority of men are left to their own devices, and are not trained by mothers and other women, that they will behave like the animals that humans have supposedly evolved from.

Humans are forever making judgments about others based solely on visual cues: skin color; gender; boob size; nose (Jewish? Arab? Indian? Pakistani?); muscles; type of clothes; overt manifestations of wealth or poverty. I don't how or if these kind of judgments can be stopped, but they can be ameliorated to some extent.

Personally, I think women should have monthly marches wearing fake boobs over their clothes and just parade around. Anybody getting a thrill out of this will have shown where the real boob is.

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I felt the need to comment, since I am in a similar situation (Though definitely not as extreme), and somehow until I read your article I didn't realize why everyone who made fun of me in 5th grade wanted to be my friend in 6th.
Regardless, I've learned to make the most of it. Since guys will talk to me all the time anyways, I can afford to do radical things like (Yes) grow out my armpit hair, and not wear makeup, and still fit in the stigma of conventionally attractive. Yeah, it pisses some sexual partners off, but really, they were the ones just assuming that I would alter my natural appearance just so gilette and covergirl could keep making a fortune

About half the time, I don't put any effort into my appearance. If I don't feel like I want attention, I'll wear huge hoodies and ugly pajama pants and go days without showering and not even part my hair. It's sad that this is what it takes to get respect from males, I know, but IT IS POSSIBLE.

If you're smart, and have big boobs, that's a great combination, because you have a natural audience to share your great ideas with! And if they don't listen, try to teach them using the socratic method. By answering your questions they get to maintain the face-to-face conversation. Yes, it's mostly the republicans who flock towards breasts, but hey, they're the ones who need the most mental work done anyways.

You totally have the right to treat your appearance AND your brain as a work of art. And if anyone can't respect that, then you have the right to publicly humiliate them. (EXCUSE ME, SIR, MY FACE IS UP HERE!). And then if they touch you, you can beat them up! You already have a legitimate excuse!

Dunno if these thoughts are at all helpful, just hoping you'll milk your situation to your best advantage.

Oh, and I would highly recommend Naomi Wolf's 'The Beauty Myth' to any woman who's ever worried about their appearance. Yes, I said Naomi Wolf, and yes, your acceptance of advertised beauty standards IS political

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This articulate but jeuvenile rendering of discovering a females own sexuality has to be priceless. Has identity and ignorance been propounded into gen-x and y so badly by feminism that we must now place in print, that my goodness, "I have bigger tits than my friends, and I am so good looking I can't get over myself with my overtly nonchelant body language".
Oh, poor me, why am I such a pecker magnet and not my small titted friends.

Blonds attract males since it arouses a protective instinct.

Big boobed girls attract mommy raised boyz.

My only piece of advice is make capital out of those jugs you so meekly possess, when they start sagging and reach your belt buckle maybe a little wisdom may dawn, maybe not. Have you discovered which is the bigger one yet, you may be able to write another article on which tit was more jealous of the other. Heck you could even draw caricatures on them and have conversations. Your article smacks of a little sado-masochism, seek validation preferably a shrink.

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I like it,,, the bresticles!

Yes boobs are great to look at but much better on someone other than me. I would never wish breast on my worst enemy.

Those meat bags come with higher rates of cancer for women yet men get cancer too. I have never met a woman that did not say they got in the way, and most women would rather we look them in the eye, not the cleavage.

Who can help it as a red blooded guy.. they are intriguing, beautiful and one or two of the reasons males feel for the women who have to carry the burden and weight of nature.

Their are few things in life more enduring than to see a women breastfeeding. The love expressed in the process and the necessary nourishment for the child though its not for everyone, the act is considered wonderful by most.

What I think is sad is when one set is thought to be better than another or boobs are disrespected all together. Watching CSPAN one day I head a woman chastising Gretta for wearing a low (not)cut top on the show. Few people are more concerned about what they wear and a lady does not need an old bitty forcing her ideas of what needs to be seen on TV in a sofa king rude way as trying to publicly on CSPAN humiliate her.

Touchy subject I know just like ebay their are some really rude people out there when you have got to wonder,,, are they just jealous because as I was watching, I never though anything about her boobs till the bitty said to look. Glad I am over that, and guys she is married now too. No lust, just some indignation about humiliation.

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It may sound simplistic considering the unwanted attention but I recommend the author seek out and spend time with people and organizations she admires and simply ignore the dolts of both sexes who stare and make rude comments. Most human beings are ignorant, mechanical and highly repetitive and imitative. They won't change and won't evolve. Be yourself and seek your own happiness and personal evolution.

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FIrst off, I see you are from England, so why the vitriol about US vs. European preferences? And the only picture I could find of you was one on your MySpace page, which did not show your face, and certainly did not lead one to believe you were the "super" endowed woman you describe.

And lastly, a listing of your articles seems to be nothing but complaining about how women's bodies are perceived by men. Well, duh! We are SUPPOSED to be attracted to women. It's called instinct, and without it, the human race would have died out pretty quickly.

Try writing something meaningful next time, or just shut up and play your cello.

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i had dollly parton titties when i was 15...and a reduction when i was 17. best thing i ever did. big boobs cause back problems, it's hard to find shirts, some men are obnoxious about it, etc...HOWEVER...our planet is in eco-crisis (economy, ecology). so, every day, instead of waking up regretting my appearance and my aging (i'm now 46), i am GRATEFUL that i have all four limbs, even though they ache; eyes and ears that work. i am even MORE grateful that, for today, i have water to drink, food to eat, and a place to sleep, and medical insurance. tomorrow is not guaranteed. time to appreciate what we have and not "sweat the small stuff."
if you have a roof over your head, food, water, and a place to flush your poop...you're in the top 10% of all humans on planet earth. so for today, be grateful, no matter what your body looks like.

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I went through the same experience as a teenager - but didn't feel as SORRY for myself as this whiny author.

I had 38C breast when I was 17 - but the teasing I endured was minimal compared to a fellow classmate who had 40FFF size breasts. Literally, her breasts were as big as watermelons - it must have been some sort of hormonal disorder?

She was horribly abused by classmates, had no friends and was treated like a pariah. She was actually a very quiet, sweet girl and a good student.

About 3 years after I graduated from high school - a fellow classmate of mine who knew her showed me a porno magazine with photos of this unfortunate woman! I bumped into her one year later - she was FLAT chested and told me she broke down and did porn nude photo shoot in order to earn the money for breast reduction surgery. She was down to a B cup and looked "normal". She said her life improved dramatically with the breast reduction.

So I wish this woman would get OVER herself and get breast reduction surgery. I saw Drew Barrymore on "E Channel True Hollywood Story". When she was 14 she had 40D size breasts and had breast reduction surgery.

End of story.

There is no justification for harrassing women with big breasts - but fat kids, kids who wear glasses, kids who aren't good at sports, kids with acne and goofy looks ALSO get horrendously teased by bullies.

Get OVER IT!

P.S. By the time I reached my late 40's I stopped getting wolf whistles from jerks on the street - which was a HUGE relief. Men who were complete strangers automatically assumed I was sexually loose because I had large breasts. Actually, for long periods of my life I was celibate - which made it really annoying to get treated like I was a floozy.

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Only I was wearing a C-cup bra in the 6th grade, E cup by age 20. Endured years of being called a cow, approached by sleazebags, unable to find fitting clothes, assumed to be stupid and slutty, yadda yadda yadda. As if I'd grown huge breasts on purpose just to piss other women off. Finally got reduction surgery, but it doesn't really work - they just grow back, after a while. About the same size as they were in the first place ten years later. I should have gotten a double mastectomy. The entire experience is degrading.

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Including constant sexual harassment and childhood molestation, then being blamed for it, as if you'd grown big breasts on purpose. Attitudes toward women are still vile. Cruising children is vile behavior.

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1) first boyfriend thought I should have playboy bunny breasts, and the first time he saw mine, abusive SOB that he was, he actually told me that he was "sickened" by them!
2) He was an abusive alcoholic and I ditched him pretty quickly.
3) Through my mid-thirties, I was gorgeous. Boobs were not large, stomach was not perfectly toned, but I had a great ass, long legs, and a beautiful face with gorgeous hair. I wore size 3 pants. People often did double takes, and friends said that when I met knew people, they told my friends that I was extraordinarily attractive.
4) I didn't appreciate this attention, which wasn't so revolting as the attention the author received. But having been molested as a child, I a) didn't want to attract sexual attention; it made me feel vulnerable, and b) didn't believe I was anywhere near as attractive as I "should" be.
5) Eventually I worked things out and straightened my head up. That left me feeling confident about the fact that I was attractive, not the hideous monster I had believed myself to be. This left me free to get on with the business of living my life. Being attractive was a part of the way I interacted with the world. I didn't even realize it, and never comprehended that males readily gave me their time and attention because of my looks. I thought it was simply that I was an interesting human and so were they
6) In 1995, when I was 36, I quit smoking. I'd been trying to quit, and finally decided that it didn't matter if I blimped out, I'd be healthier with a hundred extra pounds than if I continued to smoke. So I ate everything in sight and put on sixty pounds. I had cleavage for the first time, and that amused me. I never have understood how women can feel comfortable in blouses that show cleavage, and that didn't change - I did not share my cleavage with the planet - but I was privately amused by it.
7) But then something profound happened which I had never realized could happen. As I gained weight, and my hair was turning gray, I destroyed my knee - but too young for knee replacement, had to cope with hardly being able to walk, and therefore could not get enough exercise to lose the weight. In a few short years I went from a woman who turned heads to a middle-aged, gray-haired blob. And the most amazing thing happened. I hadn't changed. I had interesting and diverse viewpoints and wished to talk with people in engaged, soaring conversations, but the vast majority of people no longer considered anything that I had to say of any importance. New people who met me had zero interest in my thoughts on anything, and I was often referred to as my daughter's grandmother - "Em, your grandma's hear to pick you up," etc. I even had the experience of having more than one guy who hadn't seen me in a while do a real double take and then say, "I hardly recognized you! You really look awful!"
8) One demographic likes me more than they did - middle-aged women. I can have an intelligent conversation with them and be viewed as an equal. But as far as the rest of the planet - most males and virtually all young people, plus professionals, doctors, nurses, lawyers, professors, etc., didn't have the time of day to give me anymore.
I have a new job in a doctors office. I remember doctors flirting with me and wanting to talk with me in the past. I watch this doctor I work for, who is exactly the same age I am, practically creaming himself over the new young nurse who has joined the team, while he treats me like I'm an imbecile, in spite of the fact that I have years of experience and am a real asset to his office. He doesn't even return the hello I give him in the morning, but he practically trembles with excitement when the new nurse arrives. It's disgusting. And it hurts to be treated like I have no value.
All because I've lost my looks. I'm still me, but there are a whole lot fewer people who wish to know who "me" is.

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I remember in elementary school, when none of us had boobs except a gorgeous recent arrival from Italy. The rest of us girls were amazed by these firm, round protrusions, and Val was happy to let us all see them, and even feel what they felt like in the girls bathroom when I was in fifth grade.
We had a chant which we did while swinging our arms back and forth for exercise: "We must, We must, We must develop our bust. The bigger the better; the tighter the sweater - the boys will go for us!"

How sick is our society and how sick are we?

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where women's breasts were regularly displayed but you didn't ever see men's penises. The guy actually said, in all seriousness, that they didn't show men's penises because they didn't want to make men feel inadequate by seeing a well-endowed man on the screen.

How the hell does he think women feel when they are repeatedly subjected to seeing slender women with drop-dead gorgeous breasts?

Friggin' idiot is what that man was - and he has lots and lots of company!

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Follow the Islamic Dress Code and cover your 'boobs', 'posteriors' and 'hair' in public, exposing them only to those who are disqualified by Islamic Law to marry you! (Dads,uncles,grandpas and brothers). Plus of course husbands. And this is not exclusively Islamic. See the dress the Catholic nuns wear even to this day. See how Mary, the Mother of Jesus, is shown wearing in paintings. And, what do ladies always wear at Funerals!

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Women have bigger boobs and hence more attractive, this is as true as the sun is in the sky, roses have thorns. Its a biological reaction from men in general.

the author understand that its her biological condition which made her attractive, but she also need realize that men's reaction are biological too. how the hell could we get over our biological make up?

Of course this innate quality of manhood doesnt give us execuse of not curbing our sexual behavior, but there is only so much we can do about our action.

I also think most sexual behaviors are biologically driven. During an orgasm, men would give up the whold world to prolong that feeling, but as soon as men ejaculate, they could only feel how void and empty sex is, by then men would have done many regretful things to women. we are forever caught in the cycle of sexual drive.

please dont try to tell us that we should get over with boobs, cause we cant. if u can accept what you are(a person with big boobs), u should also try to accept what we are( a bunch of guys who love boobs).

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they have more cushion for the pushin....skinny women is like hitting a bagful of bones!!!

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This commentary is a microcosm of a wider issue, bullying that takes the form of ridiculing, belittling, terrorizing, harassing people for any number of reasons: men who are considered effeminate, larger folks, very tall women, smaller-breasted women, guys with bald heads, kids with glasses and on and on.

One is not more painful than the other.

One other thought: I do know many men who are decent, were always decent and should not be broad-brushed as jerks along with the clods who intimidate women regarding their breasts.

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Cinema and TV area hypnotic, slow brainwashing. Hollywood and TV, year after year, day after day for hours, have destroyed the morality of the majoritty with materialist brainwashing. Cinema and TV, with the complicity of corrupt politicians who allow them to do it, have taken us where we are. Money is the cause. Growing divorce, growing psychological problems like growing depression, etc... We have more money now, yes, and more problems.

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Reality check answer: nope. We are human, we have sexuality. What we need to get over, as a society, is prudishness and sexual shame. I blame organized religion. Therefore, organized religion should be abolished and outlawed.

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Hi,
i love women with big breast.

Rambo
Adult Dating

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I'm a 57yo and had many of the same feelings and experiences. And what finally moved me to get a breast reduction was that 1)my bra straps were killing my shoulders; 2) my neck,shoulders, and back hurt; 3)I had already bought into being an object and sexualized myself and others, thereby becoming promiscuous and avoiding intimacy; 4)I had gotten vulgar comments for years, but when I heard 'what are their names?' and 'what do you feed them for dinner' the dissociation became complete. After the reduction, which was done in 1973, I learned that I was an intelligent, funny, and charming woman. It took time. I've never regretted that decision. Thanks for your courage in sharing your story.

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Two problems Samara:
1) You were continually harassed, and your school did nothing to stop it, and your parents did nothing to stop it. If I had been your father, I would have both complained to the school until there was vast improvement, and I would have threatened the boys who did the harassment, and their fathers if they defended the boy's behavior... and I would have made good on those threats if the behavior continued. For example, any boy who would assault my daughter like that would get a beating from me, or someone I hire, with no warning, to send a message.

2) The second problem results from the first. had you been properly been defended, your self-esteem would have been higher, and still would be. I suspect you would have learned to better psychologically defend yourself by carrying yourself in a way that indicated you would really fight back, but you didn't, so that lack of resolve invited more abuse, not your body itself.


It's not anyone's fault that men find certain body shapes attractive, that just a characteristic of our species. What is someone's fault is a school policy that ignores sexual harrassment. I not only saw it when I was 14, I was part of the problem. But when I saw one decorated WWII vet threaten to kill a classmate of mine after he groped the angry man's daughter, I wised up. Sometimes it takes a credible threat of force to correct a bad culture in a school.

As a big breast lover who has fallen in love with a very smart and successful big breasted woman, I know that you can find a man (I hope you already have found a man) who would treasure both your mind and body. With higher self-esteem, your sexual confidence would also be higher. I recommend counseling if you still have body shame issues. It's not your fault that you were not properly defended. It's your weak school teachers' fault and the fault of your weak father/brother/other male relative.

For general defense against catcalls for any large breasted women, you need to do what Samara does, just wear less revealing clothing. It's not "unfair" that less busty women can wear tighter clothing than you without getting harrassed, just like it's not "unfair" that you sexually interest more men than average woman does. The issue is your control over your situation by where you go, and how confidently you walk, and speak, and how you dress, and carry yourself.

Now go proudly, tits-first, and find your happiness.

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I empathize with this writer. Who gave anyone the right to leer at, grope, or make horrible sexual comments to someone just because of the way their body looks? And sorry, boys, "biology" doesn't cut it. You don't do a lot of things that "biology" would predispose you to do because they're illegal and you'd go to jail. Why does our society let these men get away with verbal and emotional assault like this?

But there's a global perspective here that is missing. Breasts are not sex objects in most cultures. In Islamic countries, a woman may have to be completely covered head to toe, yet can pull out her breast to feed her baby and no one views this as sexual in the least. In many African cultures, men would laugh if you tried to tell them that breasts were sexually stimulating--in these cultures, breasts are for babies.

That means that the obsession with breasts is not hard-wired into men. It is cultural, like the earlier fascination of Chinese men for teeny female feet. And if it's cultural, it can be changed.

I, too, endured this type of treatment for years. The remedy for me was breastfeeding my babies. Once I realized what they were really for, and how incredibly useful and important and good they were as tools in my mothering kit, I thought completely differently about my breasts. So, dear one, put your breasts to use for their real purpose and you may find yourself healed, too!

RedStateGal
RedStateFeminists

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Yes of course we should be sympathetic to the author's terrible experiences.

However, the author isn't even asking for sympathy as such. She is saying we must "get over" our collective obsession with breasts.

That's punishing all men and women for the misdeeds of a few. It's not for her to say what we can think about or be attracted to, or even to guess and generalize about what our feelings actually are.

Before we get too deep in collectively punishing everyone else (both men and women both figure among the villans in the story), we should note that there are a number of gaps in the story (what about her parents? what about her boyfriends? wasn't anybody willing to do anything? It's all very hard to believe.), parts that don't quite add up (same cup size at 25 as at 14?) and we haven't even heard the story from the perspective of the other people involved. We can't even punish a single person without such careful examination. Sympathy is fine, even for an imaginary incident, but not punishing others without proof.

Most women with visible breasts like to show them off a bit. It can be especially useful for those who, like most of us, have somewhat less than perfect beauty otherwise. A little bit of magic. But perhaps the author doesn't understand that as she also has (or claims to have) a nearly unreal figure with a tiny waist also without even having to sweat it. And yet, we shouldn't pay attention or be envious or anything?

She would only have us admire her acquired abilities, such as playing the cello. We should admire those. But any man or woman who claims not to notice her unreal figure and breasts is lying for sure. And I wonder if that isn't the kind of boyfriend she has found now.

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When I was in high school, all my friends were D cups and E cups, and I was the lowly A. It was pretty hurtful to be the only one *not* getting any attention! At any rate, these girls were all quite proud of their cleavage, and were quite empowered about their "increased" femininity. Maybe having company is what's important.. a bunch of petite or a bunch of busty girls together is less likely to attract the same kind of hurtful comments and actions as the author's.

Of course, we tended to be a bright bunch in general.. at 14 I would have turned a teacher in for being such a great tosser. I hate it that people can get away with traumatizing young women.

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My girlfriend has some kind of infatuation with her breasts too, what is up with women swooning over their own bodies all the time.

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All very fascinating, doubly interesting since I just finished reading a novel, Nine Kinds of Naked, that dealt with these same issues. One of the main characters is a large-breasted woman, and the reader is given a compelling view into her sexuality and subjectivity. Unbelievably, it's written by a man. Check it out here; I highly recommend it!

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I am a topfree activist who lives in Central Florida. I have read this article and many of the replies. Here is what I have to say on this issue:

Decriminalize women's breasts. In the early days of the Suffragettes' fight for the vote, the women pulled their skirts up above their ankles. They were often referred to as loose women who only wanted to incite the lusts of men, through their daring behavior. At one time in history, women were forced to cover their bodies from the neck, to the wrist, and down to their ankles. No wonder the poor things always got the vapors and fainted! They could not breathe in the hot heat of the summer.
Over time, and through a great effort on the part of the women's rights movement, women have dared to bare more and more. The fifties brought bikinis. The sixties brought mini skirts and hot pants. The seventies brought Gloria Steinem and the burning of our bras. The eighties and nineties brought string bikinis and thongs. Throughout all of these shifts in the wardrobes of women, men have learned to contain themselves and deal with our newfound freedoms.
I purpose to take this to the next step of our female evolutionary awakening. Decriminalize women's breasts. In time, they will become as mundane to society as our ankles did at the turn of the last century. New York State freed women's breasts 16 years ago. I don't see their society falling apart at the seams because of this.
I personally, am fighting for this same right in Central Florida. Daytona Beach, to be specific. Take the objectification away from our mammory glands and the whole hoopla over breasts will fall into history, just as the other changes to our wardrobes have done.
The International Topfree Stand in Daytona Beach is a topless protest that is protected by the sanctions of the U.N. on International Women's Day. This will be the fifth protest of this kind. I look forward to challenging all those that have objectified and criminalized our breasts, over all this time in our history. Get a clue. They are not for you, for your perusal, or for your enjoyment. They are ours. They belong to the babies that we bring into this world and they belong to the women who carry them.
March 8th, 2009, please feel free to join me in Daytona Beach. The fight for Topfreedom is on. Like it or lump it. This is a day of freedom for women and I intend to use it to the very best of my ability.

Gardening Topless in Central Florida, L.B.

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I appreciate the point of this article. I realize it's inevitable in a personal story to get incredibly overindulgent at times.

This seemed to me a moment of the utmost mediocrity, however:

"a lengthy disparaging stare speaks a thousand vitriolic words."

Do women really have nothing better to do than to stare at each other strangely in ways that men cannot even begin to notice or fathom, and take stock of these stares in a vocal and overly analytical fashion? Perhaps this is sexist. But I don't mind.

Why didn't you just assume that this person, like so many others, is strangely demented? Disparaging gives them so much...credibility. Whereas if you social institute a policy of considering these people demented and act confused and unreflective about their demented stare-tactics, it really doesn't mean squat.

Besides which, vitriol or saccharine, they're just unheard, nonexistent, dementedly staring at your tits words.

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Yes, heterosexual men are attracted to breasts. This does not mean that they (or anyone else) should feel they can verbally or physically harass the women who have them (or those who have a great body, a wonderful butt, and so on). Of COURSE no one is ordering men to stop liking breasts; the point is not to act like a total imbecile, to remember that the breasts are attached to a PERSON. An individual. (And besides, you wouldn't suddenly grab a total stranger's wallet just because you like the contents, would you? This has happened to me regarding breasts. Just because you may like your own breasts doesn't mean that you must be compelled to silently put up with harassment from every Tom, Dick and Harry who is moved by them. Control yourselves fer crissake!! Act like civilised human beings!!! In a similar article elsewhere -- sorry, forgot the link -- a woman wrote "I AM NOT A PETTING ZOO!").

I have experienced what the author describes: false assumptions about promiscuity, about my intelligence, total disregard for my opinions, simply because I happen to have breasts. No one likes to be reduced to a mere part -- whether it's your income, a body part, your address or your country of origin. That one part usually does not define the person. It's called prejudice.

Author Susan Seligman wrote on the same issues in her book "Stacked: A Double-D Reports from the Front" in a mainly humourous way. I thank the author of this article for pointing out what most people simply don't or refuse to understand: large breasts are in no way, shape or form (no pun intended!) indicative of the person's sexuality, intelligence or morals. (HELLO!!!!) It wasn't so long ago that owners of dark skins were treated with similar prejudices: they were judged to be lazy, thieving, etc.

Hopefully the world will learn to get over it. And by that, I mean learn to still adore breasts without denigrating or making false assumptions about who has them.

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(as a side note, I'm always surprised by people telling other people on the internet to "get over it." The interest isn't a contest to see who has suffered more.)

I, too, am a thin woman with extremely large breasts, and I can vouch for the ridiculous attitude that your breasts are public property, and that men and women alike feel the need to run a constant commentary on them.

In my medical school class, out of 5 women who had "disproportionate" breasts, I am the only remaining one who has not had breast reduction surgery. I think that says something about the real and negative impact of these sexist attitudes on professional women, and how they experience a lack of respect from their colleagues.

And as for those people spouting, "it's just evolution" - that's garbage. People have used that argument for every sexist division of gender roles and to deny women fundamental rights. Yes, there are evolutionary forces at work. Societal standards are powerful, too, and it's our job to start making these attitudes socially unacceptable.

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