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Will I never have a child?

Dear Cary,

I'm heartbroken and frightened and it would all go away if I did nothing.

A year ago I met and fell in love with a man I met online after eight years of terrible loneliness. We were immediately attracted to each other but we decided to stop seeing each other almost right away. He didn't want any more kids and I was desperate to be a mom. We kept in touch and dated and broke up a few more times. I'd only known him a few months and I was already trying to convince him to have a child with me. That's something I never would have done in my easy-breezy youth, but I'm turning 41 and all my friends have kids (boy, do they ever, this peer pressure is worse than anything I ever felt in high school). He 'd just gone through a terrible divorce where his ex-wife used legal tricks to screw him good. Most horribly, she tried to keep him away from their 5-year-old daughter and he had to fight in court, deal with her calling the police, and move his life and his job so he could see his little girl again. So he's burnt. But he also says he never wanted kids in the first place. His ex-wife pressured him. He also never wanted to get married but she pressured him into that.

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