The lie detector test that saved my marriage
Men and women in Sexaholics Anonymous and Sex Addicts Anonymous initially come in not remotely sure how to recover. First we deal with the problems that brought us to the meetings—our compulsive, dangerous and often illegal behavior. In SAA, we develop “circles” that define the kind of behaviors that mark us as sex addicts. The “Inner Circle” represents the behaviors we'll never do again—like the drink for the alcoholic, the fix for the drug addict. If we slip, we start counting our time again. In SA, things are defined differently— it's more of a "slippery slope" mentality. Don't do anything that lights the fuse. Don't even masturbate. I've known guys who won't look at a provocative roadside billboard, guys who avert their eyes when they see a panty hose ad in The Financial Times.
Many of these men and women are in marriages or long-term relationships. Their lives are dysfunctional and they know it. They'll expect to spend months, if not years, in 12-step meetings, individual therapy and marriage counseling in hopes of saving their relationships. If they're lucky, they have understanding partners who can see beyond the addiction.