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John Boehner fan fiction: Three novelists go inside the speaker’s brain and imagine the shutdown’s final hours

What was it like to be John Boehner as shutdown negotiations drew to a close? Salon asked Joshua Furst, author of "The Sabotage Cafe"; Elliott Holt, author of "You Are One of Them"; and Alissa Nutting, author of "Tampa," to put themselves in his shoes. The (very fictional) results are below -- with a lot of smoking, some tears and quite a few ties. 

7:15 a.m.

Pete’s Diner – John Boehner pokes at his fried eggs with his fork. He guzzles coffee, hoping the caffeine will kill his hangover.  A bite of yolk dipped toast catches like liver in his throat.  He chews and chews but he can’t get it down.  Finally he spits it into his napkin.

Well, shit.  The teabaggers ruined my dinner, might as well ruin my breakfast, too.  At least Amazing Grace sounded halfway decent.  Until it didn’t.

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