How to fold a thong: A straight man working at Victoria’s Secret
"You are the first man I have ever seen working at Victoria's Secret," said a customer walking up to the cash register. I’d hear this a lot over the next year. For a while, I'd tell customers that I was, in fact, the first man to work at Victoria's Secret, adding that GQ had recently named me "The Ponce de Leon of Panties." But seeing as this was my first day on the job, I didn’t have that kind of confidence yet. That would come later.
As a college senior with plans to attend dental school, I never imagined my life would end up this way. I figured I'd graduate college, take the summer to prep for the Dental Admission Test, get into schools, then begin my trek toward normal, civilized life. That's what everyone else was doing in the biology department.
But I had no idea of the turmoil that lay in store. I ended up at Victoria's Secret the same way most men end up on daytime talk shows: I got dumped by my girlfriend; I couldn't get a new girlfriend to save my life; and, to top it all off, I began growing breasts. I now believe my boobs were the result of eating too much soy, which has a high amount of estrogen in it, and has been known to cause such reactions in prepubescent girls. But at the time I didn't realize this as I was simply too busy freaking-the-hell-out. It's one thing, as a man, to feel like you don't understand women; it is another to feel like you're becoming one.