Things Not to Put on a Tampon

 Vodka.

 

I’m also 97% sure that “putting vodka on a tampon and then getting drunk through your vagina (or butt)” is an urban legend on par with Rainbow Parties. Has someone probably tried it once or twice? Surely. Human beings are both amazing and awful (and amazingly awful). We are the best creatures, and we are endlessly creative when it comes to doing mind-numbingly stupid things. You know who is a good example of someone who is amazingly awful? Danielle Crittenden. Apparently when she’s not refusing to get on airplanes because brown people are boarding or making a career out of complaining about the women’s movement that enabled her to have a career complaining about the women’s movement, she is testing out the vodka-tampon theory and then acting shocked when it burns. And she didn’t even get drunk! Clearly she should have tried the Diva Cup. That holds a lot more liquid.

You know what else burns? The stupid.

Feministe / By Jill F

Posted at November 26, 2011, 7:21am

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