The 10 Most Ridiculous Right-Wing Outrages of 2011

Call them nontroversies, poutrages or pseudo-scandals. Since the 2008 elections, the conservative media have peddled a seemingly endless series of trumped-up non-stories, pitched as scandals rivaling Watergate, to their loyal rubes in an attempt to paint liberals, the media, scientists, Democrats and Obama – and other enemies of the Wingnut State – as perfidious, dishonest or downright treasonous. 

A few of them have borne some remote resemblance to reality, but many of their pseudo-scandals featured no more substance than the bizarre right-wing emails your crazy uncle credulously forwards around to friends and family. Yet, with a dedicated conservative media headed by Fox News, many have been mainstreamed on the right, with some spurring calls for investigation by the GOP-led House. Those calls, in turn, then become stories for Fox News and other conservative outlets -- it's a feedback loop full of crazy.

We decided to take a look at the 10 shakiest mythological scandals of the past year. Of course, the list isn't comprehensive, because there's a new one every week.

1. Islamic Menace Soiling Our Pure American Turkeys

It's been a typically weird year for dark conspiracy theories about Muslims. Noted Islamophobic nutjob Robert Spencer told us that “the Leftist/jihadist alliance has been on abundant display during the Occupy protests.” We also learned that the Muslim Brotherhood has “infiltrated every level of our government,” and we were shocked to discover that even that yuppie stalwart, Whole Foods, was promoting radical Islam. Or something.

But the cake was taken by none other than Pam Geller, nuttiest of the nutjobs, who has in the past accused Dunkin' Donuts – and the Food Network's Rachael Ray – of promoting jihad and argued that the Arabic language itself “is the spearhead of an ideological project that is deeply opposed to the United States.”

How does one top that kind of crazy? Let's let Geller explain:

A citizen activist and reader of my website AtlasShrugs.com wrote to Butterball, one of the most popular producers of Thanksgiving turkeys in the United States, asking them if their turkeys were halal. Wendy Howze, a Butterball Consumer Response Representative, responded: "Our whole turkeys are certified halal."

In a little-known strike against freedom, yet again, we are being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a torturous method: Islamic slaughter.

She then launches into a description of “Islamic slaughter,” which sounds exactly the way animals are slaughtered under Kosher law.

And then finishes with a flourish...

Why should we be forced to conform to Islamic norms? It's Islamic supremacism on the march, yet again.

Yet again!

2. And They're Taking Over the Conservative Movement

Staying on the theme, we get to the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), the biggest wingnut gab-fest of the year. This year was special because, according to the fever swamps, we learned that CPAC's organizers were in the bag not only for Islamic extremists – they're everywhere, after all – but also the gays, because a gay Republican group called GOProud was allowed to attend this year's shindig. 

Roy Edroso braved the wingnut blogs to bring us the tale of how jihadists infiltrated this important event.

The accusations of jihad-friendliness were spurred by the presence at CPAC of Arab Indian-American former Bush Administration official Suhail Khan, whom some rightbloggers claim is a member of the militant Muslim Brotherhood -- a charge Khan has denied, which denial Frank Gaffney dismisses as "a bit of taqiyya (lying for the faith)." 

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