Ratings for Reality Are Down -- Love and Sex Storm Back on TV

By Vanessa Richmond, The Tyee. Posted February 23, 2009.

'Carpe diem, whores and tramplets!'

"Newsflash: Whores and wanton hussies happier, more productive than ever! Bed-hopping tarts rule the small screen," is the headline of Heather Havrilesky's column in Salon this week. She writes, "We want to watch as wanton floozies cheat on their husbands, grope their much-younger lovers and have illicit dalliances with lesbian brides. We want to see classy courtesans put on maid uniforms and pee on prominent politicians. We want to gasp at the brazen, oversexed antics of the modern-day harlot, balancing her debauched profession with her everyday life.

"Of course these shameless tarts' stories are morality tales, just like they always were. But this time around, the moral of the story goes like this: Carpe diem, whores and tramplets! Get out there and grab every man, woman and man-child who strikes your fancy! As long as you lounge around in black lace, thigh-high stockings, smoking and brooding away your ample free time as the camera circles, we're behind you 100 per cent!"

If all else fails, just fall in love

And if people are turning from grit to fantasy on TV, they're mirroring that in real life (or wait, is it the other way around?) The fact is that sex and love can be cheap dates. You can't buy me love, right? Compound that with the fact that divorces and break ups (and cheating) soar in recessions, and you get more single people than usual lining up for those cheap thrill rides. Enter booming online dating sites and love-crazed masses.

No star-crossed lovers around you? Just look at some of the top cultural news stories this week for proof instead. There's an explanation of why millenials are obsessed with the Obama marriage (it represents the utopia of happy, romantic, egalitarian relationships), an analysis of the teen sexting epidemic (one in five teens has sent or posted naked photos of themselves, indicating either a new child porn epidemic or even greater teen narcissism complex), and a much blogged about story on what the disabled can teach the rest of us about sexual fulfillment.

Lovers are 'clinically insane'

But are recession-weary people looking for a little recreational bite from the love bug or the reality-obliterating effects of the love drug? In an art course I took, the prof told us about her friend, a therapist, who wouldn't see any clients when they were in the first six months of a new relationship. She considered them clinically insane. She had deemed it pointless to talk to them about new issues since the fireworks in their brains obliterated any rational thought, and wouldn't talk to them about ongoing issues since they were sure to forget any progress.

I have three friends right now newly dating. All three giggle incessantly, forget things, change topics mid-sentence (back to dating) and frequently stare into space dreamily. Of course, I and other friends in long-term relationships are jealous (but much happier this way, darling, in case you're reading).

"Oh that time when all you want to do is make-out..." sighed a married friend recently. "In six months, you're back to reality, but they're a good six months."

I guess if six months isn't enough time for the stimulus packages to work -- economic ones, that is -- we can just move to new loves or watch those on the small screen.

See more stories tagged with: tv, reality tv, romance, ratings, dollhouse

Tyee contributing editor Vanessa Richmond writes the Schlock and Awe column about popular culture and the media.