December 19, 2013
The following post first appeared io9.com
Is your sex life against the law? Better make sure.
Over on io9, we posted a map of all the weirdest sex laws in the U.S.A. We didn't have room for every weird sex law we found, and some of them we had to shorten a bit to make them fit. So here's the complete, unedited list of sex laws!
Incestuous marriages are legal.
Moose are banned from having sex on city streets (in Fairbanks).
You may not have more than two dildos in the same house.
Flirtation and "lascivious banter" between men and women on the streets may result in a 30-day jailterm. (in Little Rock.)
It's illegal to sell stuffed items resembling breasts ("boobie pillows") within 1000 feet of a highway.
No man shall dress as a woman without the written permission of the sheriff. (In Walnut, CA)
Male massage parlor workers must wear all white clothing. (In Adams County).
Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.
Married couples (as well as singles) cannot engage in open "lewdness or lascivious behavior"
The term "sadomasochistic abuse" is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.
All sex toys are banned.
If you sell a reptile, you must give a written warning not to "nuzzle or kiss" them.
It's prohibited by law to "suffer any bitch or slut" (referring to dogs) (in Minooka.)
It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
Illegal "sodomy" includes oral sex, but anal penetration with a finger is allowed under specified circumstances.
Dogs must not molest property or people.
Until 1975, people wearing bathing suits on any city street were required have a police escort.
Necrophilia is legal.
It's illegal to use fortune-telling, astrology or palmistry to "settle lovers quarrels." (In New Orleans.)
Making noise in a public library is a crime against "chastity, morality, decency and good order."
A man who seduces or corrupts an unmarried woman faces five years in prison.
Low-riding pants that expose underwear are a Class B offense. But if they expose butt cleavage, they're a Class A offense. (In Flint.)
It's illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
Adultery or premarital sex results in a fine of $500 or 6 months in prison.
Prostitution is a "crime against the family."
You can't get married if you have gonorrhea
Sale of sex toys is illegal.
Lingerie must not be hung on a clothesline at the airport, unless there's a screen concealing it. (In Kidderville.)
Flirting is illegal. (In Haddon Township, NJ)
Nudity is allowed as long as genitals and female nipples are covered.
Adultery is illegal.
Adultery is illegal. And so is pretending to be married in order to share a hotel room.
It was illegal to swim naked in the Red River between 8 AM and 8 PM. (In Fargo.)
It's against the law to fail to confine a dog or cat in heat. (In Grand Forks.)