Dear World: America Is Sorry for Its 8 Year Service Outage

By Deanna Zandt, DeannaZandt.com
Posted on January 28, 2009, Printed on December 2, 2009
http://www.alternet.org/bloggers/http://www.deannazandt.com//123441/

Editor's Note: This is hilarious chain email was brought to our attention by Deanna Zandt.

Dear World:

The United States of America, your quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for its 2001-2008 service outage.

The technical fault that led to this eight-year service interruption has been located. Replacement components were ordered Tuesday, November 4th, 2008, and have begun arriving. Early tests of the new equipment indicate that it is functioning correctly and we expect it to be fully operational by the end of January.

We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage and we look forward to resuming full service -- and hopefully even improving it in the years to come. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Very Truly Yours,

the USA

UPDATE: Rachel asked me to record it in my operator/announcer voice: download the MP3 for your own use or remixing pleasure: dear-world.mp3

Deanna Zandt is a contributing editor at AlterNet.

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