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Watch: Jon Stewart Lambastes Constitution-Obsessed Fox News for Turning on the Constitution

In Fox News' world, a bombing means the end of our rights.
 
 
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On last night’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart seamlessly blasted Fox News’ sudden turnaround against the U.S. Constitution in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing. The host went right down the nation’s Supreme Law, and picked out several rights that the constitution-obsessed Fox wants revoked for bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. Stewart started with the debate over reading the suspect his Miranda rights and questioned Fox hosts who didn’t seem to pay attention in government class.

“First of all, not reading someone their Miranada rights doesn’t mean they don’t have Miranda rights,” Stewart explained. “You have Miranda rights under the constitution. You don’t need to say them out loud for them to become real. That’s Beetlejuice.”

Stewart followed with a suggestion from Ann Coulter to try Tsarnaev as an enemy combatant, completely jettisoning the American citizen’s Sixth Amendment right to a fair trial.

“Yes, a civilian trial for terrorists is not going to work! That’s why Tim McVeigh, Ted Kaczynski, Ramzi Yousef and the Blind Sheikh roam our country from city to city singing medleys of original hits and . . . ,” Stewart said before getting corrected in his ear piece, “What’s that? Really? They're dead or in prison.”

Then the show producers played a clip of Sean Hannity calling for Tsarnaev to be waterboarded. Incredulous, Stewart issued a challenge, saying, “There goes the eight amendment ban on cruel and unusual punishment. Any freedom lovers want to take a crack at some of the lower one—your thirds, your fourths?” The audience would not be let down, as The Five’s Eric Bolling proposed the government wiretap mosques.

“Sure, illegal search and seizure? Done! The freedom lovers at Fox are jettisoning amendments like Han Solo dumping cargo to make the jump to light speed at the first sign of imperial cruisers,” Stewart continued. “Anybody can toss away the lesser known amendments. Only a true patriot can set a course straight for the first.” Good for Jon, The Five’s Bob Beckel wants to ban Muslim students from traveling to the U.S. given that “so many people hate us.”

“Yes, a religious litmus test for school enrollment…says Fox’s most prominent liberal voice,” Stewart observed. ““Holy shit! What’s left? A prohibition on the unmentioned personal rights in the constitution that are designated to the people?”

Ann Coulter answered, condemning bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev’s wife: “I don’t care if she knew about this. She should be in prison for wearing a hijab.”

“And down goes the ninth amendment! Down goes the ninth amendment!” Stewart shouted. “Ann Coulter doesn’t just want a police state. She wants a fashion police state.”

Is there any constitutional right that Fox doesn’t want to strike in the wake of Boston? That’s what Stewart wondered as he juxtaposed the 3,400 terrorism deaths in this country over the past 30 years with the nearly million gun deaths before playing a long montage of Fox personalities worshiping the right to bear arms.

“Yes, it turns out there’s only one amendment in our constitution’s pantheon that is exempt from statistical analysis or emotional freak-out-itude, and it is the second. So god help us if the Muslims ever decide to form a well regulated militia.”