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8 Crazy Fox Freakouts About the Olympics

Most people consider the Olympics a celebration of athletic prowess, but for the folks at Fox News, they're a source of endless outrage.
 
 
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At this point, it should go without saying that Fox News is a propaganda arm of the GOP, but it also serves a larger ideological purpose. Every day, the cable net stokes the Right's intricate and comprehensive narrative of victimhood and oppression – a narrative that has become central to modern American “conservatism.”

On Fox, there seems to be no end to the indignities its mostly older, white Christian audience must bear. From uppity women who refuse to accept their place and “heterosexist” gays trying to impose their “agenda” on conservative children, to the African American community's casual reverse-racism and the grave insult of characterizing neo-Nazis as members of the far-right – everyone, it seems, is out to destroy their “way of life.” And all with the willing complicity of scientists, scholars, and of course, the media.

So now we come to the 2012 Olympics, which, if you haven't noticed, is absolutely full of foreigners. And it gets worse: foreigners, apparently, don't share the American Right's love of America (or, apparently, Israel)! Also, too, there are an awful lot of dark-skinned people – all in all, it's just one unacceptable insult after another.

And it didn't start with the lighting of the torch. If you'll recall, back in 2009, the network launched a series of attacks on Barack Obama for the high crime of trying, and ultimately failing, to win a bid to bring the Olympic games to Chicago.

But back to London. While normal people like you and I have been enjoying the games – or at least bitching about NBC's coverage of same – the folks at Fox News have been detailing the horrors that are the modern Olympic games.

Here, then, are some of the lowlights.

1. OMG, Socialist Propaganda!

Before the first shot was even put, there was ample reason to take offense. First, Fox Nation got a case of the vapors when it posted a story headlined, “ London Protesters March Against ‘Capitalist’ Games,” and then it turned out that the whole country hates capitalism because included in the opening ceremonies was a nod to Britain's National Health Service, which probably has death panels and is like an ugly offspring from a union of Stalin and Mao.

2. Not Enough Jingoism!

Perhaps Fox's overarching problem with the games was best summed up by right-wing satellite radio host David Webb, when he said...

What we're seeing is this kind of soft anti-American feeling, that Americans can't show our exceptionalism. And frankly, if they are offended about us showing our exceptionalism, then they have that right and I don't care. And neither do most Americans. We've also lost over time that jingoistic feeling.

Oh, no! We've lost that jingoistic feeling and it's gone, gone, gone. That raises the obvious question of whether Webb knows what "jingoism" means.

Who knows? But, for the record, Merriam defines it as: “extreme chauvinism or nationalism marked especially by a belligerent foreign policy.” One would think we have sufficient quantities of that, thank you!

3. There's No Jingoism in Pink

That bit of wisdom was part of a larger freakout because gymnast Gabby Douglas – the adorable flying pixie with the strength of 10 men – had the nerve to wear a pink leotard instead of decking herself out with the Stars and Stripes. And other athletes even wore yellow, which might be the flag of surrender or something.

There was a proud moment at the Olympics yesterday when 16-year-old Gabby Douglas won a gold medal in gymnastics. The crowd went wild with cheers – though we’re not hearing the chants of "USA, USA" that we’ve heard in some Olympics gone by.

 
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