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Hating the Hate Mail

By Heidi Schnakenberg, Women's eNews. Posted May 25, 2006.


As a female opinion journalist, I've been called everything from bitch to whore to sweetie.
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As a young woman, I stepped out into the treacherous waters of opinion journalism, and was amazed by the lack of civil discourse and the intensity of personal attacks that I received via e-mail, letters to the editor and on Web postings.

Subjects such as women's issues, racism, anti-war politics, environmental matters and virtually any topic deemed "liberal" inspired some vitriolic comments from readers that I will mention here. I was called everything from "bitch" to "whore" and was often addressed as "sweetie" or "honey" before a launch of expletives. Most attackers took the position that I was just a cute, dumb, college student (even though I was in my late 20s) in an effort to discredit me and I was most reliably attacked by a collection of right-wing Web sites and right-wing men who sent me letters.

Needless to say, I ran out of the gates, trail-blazing, and came back a wounded animal. The experience solidified my "attack and retreat" explanation of the low numbers of women in opinion journalism.

The presence of female opinion journalists has remained virtually unchanged over the past 25 years, with only 10 percent to 20 percent of all op-eds in the country being written by women. Only about a quarter of nationally syndicated columnists are women and they tend to be white and right-wing.

While numerous professions--science, medicine and even journalism--have seen a sharp rise in female participants, opinion journalism doesn't seem to budge. In my case, I was attacked, and then retreated into self-censorship for a period of months and in that darkened room I found no mentors and little support from editors.

Fear of Appearing Vulnerable

The psychic impact of hate mail is something female writers don't often talk about in fear of appearing vulnerable in the male world of opinion writing. I believe women can take the heat of opinion journalism as well as any man; the problem is that the heat we take and the reasons why are very different.

Maureen Dowd of The New York Times discussed reactions to female opinion in her column last year. "While a man writing a column taking on the powerful may be seen as authoritative, a woman doing the same thing may be seen as castrating." She went on to say she called Alan Dundes, a renowned folklorist, to ask about it. "Women are supposed to take it, not dish it out," Dundes told her.

Rekha Basu is the civil liberties voice at the Des Moines Register in Iowa, and she is a woman, liberal and Indian. She's been called a Hindu-worshipping slut, an Arab terrorist, a whore, a lesbian, a cunt, a skanky Muslim. Most insults are via e-mail and on Web sites, where attackers can remain relatively anonymous.

She's been stalked and followed on the highway and told readers can't wait to read her obituary in the newspaper. But nothing hurt like the time a reader said they hoped her husband, who has Lou Gehrig's disease, would hurry up and die so she would leave the country.

Rekha used to be scared, and is still hurt by some of the more malicious letters. But after a while she realized "I have the opportunity to change lives. If I censor myself, what's the point?"

Do Men Get the Same?

Do men get the same? I asked David Yepsen, who is white, male, centrist and also a columnist at the Register. He says he is called an asshole from time to time and received a death threat once, but Yepsen felt readers had paid their quarter and were entitled to an opinion. "I've heard Rekha was called a Hindu-worshipping slut and things like that. I've never gotten anything on par with that," he said.

Katherine Kersten is a conservative voice at the Minneapolis Star Tribune, and gets a lot of grief from the liberal population. But it doesn't seem the same over-the-top, bone-chilling stuff that Rekha receives. Kersten said some readers harassed her for going against women's interests and she was accused of being dishonest and greedy.

However, Kersten felt men and women received equal treatment from readers, noting that Nick Coleman (a liberal voice at the Star Tribune), gets as many attacks, if not more than she does.

Coleman thinks there is a gender gap in the hate mail. "My wife is also a columnist at the St. Paul Pioneer, and there is a huge difference between the types of abuse I get, and what she gets. It's much worse for her," he said.

Michele Weldon, a contributor to Women's eNews who has also provided columns to the Chicago Tribune, recalled the time a hostile reader of a column read her memoir on the domestic abuse she experienced and wrote to tell her she deserved everything she got.

Sasha Kemmet is a young, budding liberal writer for The Des Moines Register's Young Adult Board. She has been stalked by critics who have accused her of everything from racism to elitism. She describes her detractors as deeply misogynist. "I was surprised by the viciousness of the attacks and it was extremely disappointing. My goal in writing was to initiate dialogue, not bring about petty personal attacks." Kemmet thinks "society wants women to have opinions as long as they don't speak them too loudly . . . as long as this persists, women will believe it themselves."

Year-Old Debate

A year ago, the debate about female pundits was blazing. In February of 2005, Susan Estrich ignited it by launching an e-mail campaign that blasted the Los Angeles Times for hiring few women to write columns.

A discussion of the situation then bounced around from Estrich to Maureen Dowd to Katha Pollitt of The Nation and included scores of columnists across the country.

I was emboldened by what Pollitt had to say on the topic last December. "Women buy the crap about women being too shy-weak-polite to express themselves," she wrote. She added that this is "not the fault of women themselves . . . women are discriminated against, not groomed or mentored."

In Dowd's column on the topic, she said that after six months writing op-eds, she retreated into submission and nearly walked away from the job, just "wanting to be liked."

Young women, like Kemmet and me, tend to go into this profession with a lot of hope and passion. But we sometimes retreat without an adequate support network. When new female writers are bolstered by the moral support needed to survive the onslaught of anti-female sentiment flooding their inboxes, more women's by-lines will show up on the opinion pages.

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Heidi Schnakenberg is a part-time columnist for the Des Moines Register.

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So true!
Posted by: Aussie Kim on May 25, 2006 12:58 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
But you don't have to be a professional writer in order to receive such treatment - on such popular forums as www.orkut.com, feminists of every shade and flavour are branded as lesbians, sluts, whores, fungi, men-haters, home wreckers, feminazis, murderers and charges are thrown at us along the lines of "you just want to destroy society", etc.

All this for expressing the opinion that women should be treated somewhat better than dogs and that education and a lack of beatings for many women in many countries would be a nice thing.

And it doesn't matter who often many of us argue and argue and ARGUE that we don't hate men, we don't want to destroy society, we don't advocate neutering our nearest and dearest, but we DO want education, equal opportunities and a lack of beatings and murders.

But there are men out there who fully and absolutely believe that if there is ONE woman in the world who screwed money out of her ex-husband, or ONE woman in the world who had her husband murdered, or ONE woman in the world who took her children away...then we must ALL be like that and we ALL need to be punished. Forever.

I really despair for the owrld sometimes and wonder if it's worth the fight. there are SO many men out there like that that I sometimes think it's just easier to give up. (It's a wonder the women of Pakistan don't all commit mass suicide - that would show their stupid men.)[note: not all Pakistani men are stupid, just a frighteningly large percentage of them, as far as I can work out. Lack of education and too many ridiculous tribal customs]

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» RE: So true! Posted by: talkville
» RE: So true! Posted by: medstudgeek
» RE: So true! Posted by: Loopylafae
» RE: So true! Posted by: medstudgeek
» RE: So true! Posted by: Aussie Kim
» RE: So true! Posted by: dangerouslysane
» RE: So true! Posted by: talkville
» RE: So true! Posted by: Aussie Kim
» RE: So true! Posted by: fork
» RE: Cutting it or not... Posted by: dangerouslysane
» RE: Cutting it or not... Posted by: robmikejas
Go Heidi!
Posted by: talkville on May 25, 2006 1:24 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I am male. I am a boomer. I do have a 'bias' for I'm a materialist. In discussions, ideas and concepts must be used, such is the stuff of language and communication.

I've never read any ideas, concepts or opinions that have gender. Whatever they are, they stand or fall in our common encounter with such ideas, concepts or opinions.

Kudos! and continue! Slow as it may be, progress is the only direction; With reaction, the most we get is the unacceptable status quo at best; the worst? well, that's a matter of opinion among other things; however that may be, these are times we need ALL voices to contribute.

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Western Culture
Posted by: ChristopherLL on May 25, 2006 3:30 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Western Culture has fine tuned the Greek concept of Hubris and we call it Macho. Hubris occurs when the feminine is subordinated, exploited or removed by the masculine. This started with Milton's Paradise Lost when Eve became a seductive whore. Since then Judao-Christian religion, which reinforces a punitive male authority figure as the main diety, has inculcated this imbalance of feminine/masculine. Furthermore those men who cannot "cut the apron strings" and stand as a mature masculine figure will scapegoat women for his failure. Most men can or do not confront their own fathers so attacking their mother (women) as responsible for their failures is a condoned and collective cultural act and attitude. Of course in spite of public rhetoric this is what happens behind closed doors. I offer this as a man. On the other hand I have found that many women marginalize or treat the threat of castration as silly. That is a big mistake. And many times I sense an underlying message of such in women's comments that they either do not realize or do realize and enjoy. Women's fear is of abandonment so consider castration the same for men. You may understand some reactions that ensue.

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» RE: Western Culture Posted by: fork
» history lesson required Posted by: codingguy
» RE: history lesson required Posted by: ChristopherLL
» RE: history lesson required Posted by: owleyes
» RE: history lesson required Posted by: codingguy
» RE: history lesson required Posted by: Rachel Wayne
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: owleyes
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: ChristopherLL
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: owleyes
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: ChristopherLL
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: owleyes
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: codingguy
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: bettsoff
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: ChristopherLL
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: owleyes
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: ChristopherLL
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: bettsoff
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: dangerouslysane
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: Gma1
» RE: Western Culture Posted by: robmikejas
Opinion Journalism
Posted by: polyquat50 on May 25, 2006 3:50 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Gender issues aside, the title "Opinion Journalism" seems to me to be a contradiction of terms.

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» RE: Opinion Journalism Posted by: owleyes
» RE: Opinion Journalism Posted by: Pseudo Morals
» RE: Opinion Journalism Posted by: YogiBear
goes for blogging too
Posted by: philame on May 25, 2006 4:29 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Excellent article. Employers need to take this issue seriously if they want to see a turnaround in the numbers of women opinion writers. The same applies for bloggers. Great to see the issue getting its (over)due attention.

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» RE: goes for blogging too Posted by: codingguy
» sad Posted by: philame
» RE: sad Posted by: codingguy
Even in progressive media...
Posted by: Caro on May 25, 2006 4:44 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
There's a paucity of women commentators, even in progressive media. I was struck by the imbalance a few months ago, and started making some lists. Those lists are documented here.

I was given a lot of grief at the time, even from people who consider themselves progressives, for just bringing up the topic.

Jane Hamsher of Firedoglake made the most interesting observation not long ago that although the most recent surveys show men predominate by far as blog readers, Jane's readers are at least half female. As are mine, I believe, though I have no survey to prove it. Jane pointed out that other surveys show women are less interested in politics than men, and she wondered if it's not because women have so few other women to read or to listen to for political commentary.

I wonder the same thing.

The sad thing is that no one with any money to fund political efforts, at least not any that I've been able to get in touch with, wants to fund any effort that takes time to have an impact. I haven't been able to find anyone willing to fund a sustained drive to find and nurture progressive commentary talent at all, much less a specific program aimed at getting women more involved in the political process by finding and nurturing female commentators.

If you didn't know better, you might think the efforts those folks are now funding were working.

Carolyn Kay
MakeThemAccountable.com

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» could be... Posted by: medstudgeek
» RE: could be... Posted by: dangerouslysane
» oh please Posted by: codingguy
» RE: oh please Posted by: fork
RaceGender Divide-and-Rule RaceGender Divide-and-Rule
Posted by: cry0fan on May 25, 2006 5:02 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
same old song and dance. THe overclass divides and then they rule. This odious and treason feminist columnist is given a public forum because she is good at focusing the political debate on gender issues, as opposed to populist economic issues, like universal healthcare and progressive taxation. We will never get progressive taxation and universal healthcare as long as the overclass is successful at dividing us.

I note that Alternet and other similar pseudoLeft websites are funded by nonprofit foundations set up and funded by large corporations, business lobbies and the upper class. They are helping to divide and rule by keeping the focus of the political debate on social issues like race and gender, and away from populist economics.

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» One trick pony; one note song Posted by: Fang-Face Dreamweaver
» dear, darling Cry0fan Posted by: owleyes
» Oh For God's Sake, Cry0fan! Posted by: Againstthewindwalking
How about less opinion, more facts?
Posted by: thoughtcriminal on May 25, 2006 6:12 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Let's delve into the American male psyche... no, let's not. Too much generalization, as in the American female psyche - what's that? Highly variable in all cases... anyway, Dana Priest also got right-wing death threats after her stories on CIA black sites, and was also called a administration lapdog by the left - but then, investigative journalism is a lot more important then opinionating.

In any case, how many of these responses came from actual individuals, and how many from PR firms who were trying to dissuade the author from writing? There is a huge public relations/ propaganda presence on most web sites, discussions, etc. Influencing public opinion is the name of their game, and isn't the net an important medium? PR firm whistleblowers have repeatedly shown that PR firms write letters under fake names, and engage in every other kind of subterfuge you can think of.

Too bad there isn't more investigative journalism out there. American journalism has degraded to mostly 'opinion journalism' - which has to be an oxymoron. What's the factual basis of your opinion? That's the important question.

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Don't think I'll ever understand...
Posted by: Thatslife on May 25, 2006 6:22 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Couldn't help but to comment...No apologies ladies, I'm one who has copped the rough end of the stick more than once. Women continue to seek 'equality'...without realising you already have surpassed men in many areas. Yes..there is a way to go in the corporate world, but if you want it bad enough.... Women in positions of power abuse it just as well (and often more ruthlessly) as their male counterparts...yet will resort to miss innocent and tears when brought to account. Try being a male nurse...you will soon find out what the word 'bitch' means.
Here's some observations I've made in recent years...
In excess of 80% of relationship breakups are initiated by women.
Women recover from breakups and find new partners much quicker than males. One of the parting comments made by my ex wife, 'I know I can get any man I want'... the majority of attractive women would respond to that comment with a knowing smile!
Males are much more emotionally fragile.
In MY experience...women appear to be far more promiscuous than males, alchoholism...rife among modern women, being a contributing factor. I can already hear the howls of protest...prove me wrong!
And how many men have lost partners to their best friends or work colleagues? A billion hands go up....
Women are rarely interested in single men...married males are much more exciting to prise away from their partners. And yes....men are dumb fools for taking the bait ...a little attention and sex works wonders!
It's not all your fault ladies...society really is to blame. Consider the impact on women of those trashy tv/magazines and aggressive marketing/imagery. Young women HAVE to display sexuality by the way they dress and present themselves. I have always been bewildered by the sight of a beautiful woman dressed 'to kill'. If 'caught looking' we are labelled as perverts...'what are you looking at?'....what the hell do you expect!!!! We can't win!
And let's not forget the power of the 'sexual harrasment' complaint...many consider this the ultimate weapon in a womans arsenal.
Of course there are the wife beaters out there...one could not but sympathise with women exposed to violence...yet I've personally known women attracted to the very 'he' men displaying these traits...
Despite this...it really is a womans world...you get the choice, you just choose wrong!
Sorry ladies, perfection doesn't exist.
Slut, mole, whore, harlot, gold digger etc...one wonders why there are not as many similar names for men. In fact, about the best I can think of is 'bastard'....
Yes ladies, you have much to complain about, and you do lots of complaining....but you have a long way to go to earn my respect.
A parting shot perhaps...women place so much emphasis on marriage, but lets face it....'forever do us part' isn't worth the paper it's written on. No matter how hard we try...sooner or later we'll come home from work and find you in bed with our best mate!

I can't wait for the insults!

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» RE: Women's intuition Posted by: dangerouslysane
» poor man Posted by: owleyes
» I'll say only one thing Posted by: bettsoff
» RE: Don't think I'll ever understand... Posted by: dangerouslysane
Is that all?
Posted by: Burton on May 25, 2006 6:31 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I've been called everything from bitch to whore to sweetie

I've been the editor of an "alternative" newspaper and if that is all you have been called, you are ahead of the game. Let's not forget that journalists are jailed, tortured and "disappeared" in much of the world.

So buck up and deal with the name calling. If you are not being called names, you are not doing your job.

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» RE: Is that all? Posted by: aitengri
» RE: Is that all? Posted by: Aussie Kim
Hidden in your story
Posted by: McJulie on May 25, 2006 7:12 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It's not the main point, but, I couldn't help but notice that the conservative female writer seemed to think that she got the same level of attack as the liberal male writer.

I think the lesson here is clear. 1. The right wing is full of hate. 2. They hate women particularly.

Or, possibly, 2. They are cowards, and because their right wing views hold that women are powerless, they feel more free to express their hatred against women.

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» RE: Hidden in your story Posted by: kryptx
You poor thing
Posted by: Moonray on May 25, 2006 7:13 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The formula used by a woman writing an article -- any article -- now is quite clear: Claim victim status in the first paragraph and try to out-complain all other women writers. Whoever gets mentioned on "Oprah" wins.

Seriously, this is trend so tiresome -- and, more importantly, psychologically damaging to girls and young women forming their identities. An entire generation of young women now are unable to hold a conversation without first identifying themselves as victims battling a cruel world conspiring against them. If you don't believe it, just tune into almost any TV channel at any time of day or night.

The pioneering women journalists of the 19th and 20th centuries would be disgusted by this constant whining.

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» Right On Moonray! Posted by: fairleft
» RE: ight On Moonray! Posted by: WyrdSister
» RE: ight On Moonray! Posted by: Aussie Kim
» RE: You poor thing Posted by: ezilla
» RE: You poor thing Posted by: fairleft
» RE: You poor thing Posted by: dangerouslysane
» RE: You poor thing Posted by: fairleft
Only half-true
Posted by: mjaybee on May 25, 2006 7:28 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Heidi is only telling half the story here. If you are a man and you call attention to male victims of domestic violence, discrimination against men in family court, bias during divorce proceedings regarding custody, or anything even remotely trying to call attention to the equal pay lie that is out there, you will get slammed by women who are just as vituperative as the men she describes in her story.

I recently watched a documentary where men who sought custody of their children were branded as abusers and batterers, for instance. Any movement to address inequities of family law or child custody , etc. are met with very ugly responses from "feminists" who want men to share in the household on paper, but adamantly change their story once a divorce occurs.

Tell the whole story, Heidi, and quit doing what we see every day in the MSM - spinning issues that affect everyone into stories that only talk about their effects on women. Shame on you.

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Hate = Fear
Posted by: Violetflame11 on May 25, 2006 7:33 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Thank you for writing this, I really enjoyed it. It was very affirming for me. Not all men are afraid of strong women, but there are certainly some out there. Hate = Fear.
I have found in my career that all you can do is go on being tough, and grow a thick skin. Law of the jungle, I guess. Look at Queen Elizabeth. We need more women role models out there, so as generations go by, it will become a norm for strong women to exist, without being feared so much.

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3 Responses to Hate Mail
Posted by: fairleft on May 25, 2006 7:56 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
SO WHAT if you get a lot of hate mail? Everyone gets bullied who's vulnerable.

So, you have three options: 1., you can make yourself invulnerable (throw away the cr-p without looking at it); 2., you can keep the focus on important social issues (hate mail is not one of them); 3., you can shift your focus to the hate mail and make a big deal out of it.

Which option makes the hate mailer the winner?

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Ignore the silly bastards....
Posted by: xenacat on May 25, 2006 7:56 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Right wing men ARE very invested in subordinating women, especially those with strong opposing view points. Their whole identities are based upon oppression of those they deem "weaker". Nor am I surprized to read the comments of some of the men posted here - insecurity rules. All that being said, the thing to do is to keep on shouting your progressive opionions as loudly as possible and to stop worrying about the wing nuts' name calling. It is the only way things will change. NO, it is not easy to put up with the God damn nasty, uncalled for abuse, but it is necessary to stand up to those losers so that we may advance the cause. That means getting a real thick skin.....

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Listen
Posted by: Iconoclast421 on May 25, 2006 8:13 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Whenever someone makes a personal attack, it means you're right. It's just that simple. If someone hears something they disagree with, the first thing they do is they say to themselves, "that's not right, because..." and then after that, one of two things follow. They either say why it's not right, or they just get angry, because it really IS right and that just sucks too much for them to deal with. And that's where the personal attacks come in.

For example, take the liberal bias argument. Someone says the media has a liberal bias. I say "that's not true, because"... now I have a choice. Do I get angry and call this person a right wing hackjob, or do I simply state the reason why it's not true? "That's not true, because the media censors people like Chomsky and yet they do not censor highly extreme right wingers like Perle, Wolfwowitz, Limbaugh, Kristol, Malkin, Coulter, etc etc"...

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» the premise is wrong Posted by: codingguy
» RE: the premise is wrong Posted by: Polly
» RE: the premise is wrong Posted by: codingguy
» RE: the premise is wrong Posted by: YogiBear
Days Of Whiney And Roses
Posted by: Amy Alkon on May 25, 2006 8:33 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I'm a syndicated columnist, and I get lots of hate mail, calling me "bitch," "cunt," and more for my non-traditional views on love, sex, dating, and relationships. My attitude about the hate mail? Big whoop. I laugh at it and send some snarky reply; typically making fun of them and correcting their spelling for telling me to "sit on my 'cok'." My reply: "Um, that's 'cock,' and no thanks."

In short, if you can't stand the heat, go back to the kitchen.

--Amy Alkon, advicegoddess.com, syndicated columnist in over 100 papers

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» RE: Days Of Whiney And Roses Posted by: aitengri
» RE: Days Of Whiney And Roses Posted by: YogiBear
» It’s amazing to me... Posted by: supercrisp
» RE: It’s amazing to me... Posted by: Amy Alkon
» RE: It’s amazing to me... Posted by: YogiBear
» RE: It’s amazing to me... Posted by: codingguy
sticks and stones
Posted by: repo on May 25, 2006 8:39 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
if you can't take the name calling and the hurtful things people say when you put yourself out there like that, then maybe you need a different job. so what if someone calls you a whore. does that make you one?

i was taught in junior high school to say let the name calling and bullying roll off my back. to be secure in the fact that i am better than they are even if it is for the only fact that i don't have to resort to such a low level attack as name calling. (but usually it is for many more reasons than just that.)

it's sad that fully grown adults, especially ones that place themselves into situations where they would be susceptible to the ignorant attacks of the average person, have not yet learned how to deal with it besides complaining about it & give the bullies their 15 minutes of fame.

if you act like it doesn't happen, then no one that isn't attacking you will perceive that it happens at all, and you will appear untouchable. only the bullies themselves will know. and their opinion doesn't really count anyway, does it.

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» RE: sticks and stones Posted by: dangerouslysane
» RE: sticks and stones Posted by: repo
Save Humanity!
Posted by: Tiffany Twain on May 25, 2006 8:52 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
A new "Comprehensive Global Perspective" has been published on-line at EarthManifesto.com.

Check it out --- the revolution in life-altering values begins!

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» RE: Save Humanity! Posted by: owleyes
Where are women's voices?
Posted by: CJC on May 25, 2006 8:55 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Schnakenberg says that only 10-20% of columnists are women.
That percentage is about the same for the writers of published letters to the NYTimes. Check it out for yourselves.

I don't know whether the sex ratio of published letters accurately reflects the sex ratio of submitted letters or whether there's some way that women write that is judged less cogent or interesting than the way men express themselves. Either way, women's voices are muted.

Then there's the fequently reported observation - never with real data as far as I'm aware - that "single" women are less likely to vote than married women. What's going on? Does this mean that young women not yet married are less likely to vote or single mothers too busy to notice or older widows or all of the above?

Journalists like Schankenberg need a thick skin. If they need a thicker skin than their male colleagues so be it. All women should speak up and be engaged - encourage sisters, daughters, mothers, friends to do the same.

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» 90/10 split Posted by: Fang-Face Dreamweaver
» RE: Where are women's voices? Posted by: YogiBear
verbal assault is a CRIME
Posted by: vicki2001lynn on May 25, 2006 8:58 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
...and should be reported to your police department. Every time. Why are you suffering in silence? Hello! Keep all the letters, & the verbally abusive/harassing/stalking ones should be taken to your police station where you can file a report for verbal assault/abuse, criminal harassment, etc. Each and every time. When people start going to JAIL for doing things like this, maybe (duh) it won't happen as much. Also, potential stalkers could be apprehended before they do any damage to you or your family or your property.

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» RE: verbal assault is a CRIME Posted by: RudiTuzla
» RE: verbal assault is a CRIME Posted by: Thatslife
» RE: verbal assault is NOT a CRIME Posted by: ConnecttheDots
Justaguy
Posted by: GAbdullah on May 25, 2006 9:14 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I'm loathe to write a dissent to the original column, with the responses that I'm seeing. But Heidi's column mixed up enough disparate issues that she's drawn me out of lurk mode.
I'm with her in deploring the nasty personal attacks she's getting in response to her columns, and I'm truly curious as to whether the weirdos DO actually treat her that way because she (and others) are women. It wouldn't surprise me if it were a sad, ugly truth about our society, and I need to know: I've got a wife and daughter.
But I'm with other respondents who hear her trying (intentionally or accidentally) to confuse persecution for her views with persecution for her gender, and I wish she wouldn't do that: it's a great disservice to the importance of the topic. I wish she (or someone) would give us a sequel that either pulls the issues apart or shows me the error of my ways of thinking. It would be appreciated.

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» RE: Justaguy Posted by: fork
» RE: misogynists Posted by: dangerouslysane
Slings and arrows
Posted by: RisaQ on May 25, 2006 9:53 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I just (this week) wrapped up a four-year stint as a weekly opinion columnist for a regional daily newspaper -- nothing grand scale, mind you, but an eye-opening experience.

Most of the less-flattering responses I got were of the "Silly little girl, why don't you leave the opinion writing to the big boys, who know what they're doing" tone, although a few did devolve to name-calling. One letter writer memorably suggested I ought to head off to Iraq and offer my services as a human shield. (It's the sort of message that sticks in the mind....)

For the most part, though -- maybe because I was writing more about regional than state or national issues -- people were inclined to dispute my opinions and not take potshots at me personally.

I'd be interested to hear of anyone else's experiences???

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I wonder...
Posted by: Orwells_nightmare on May 25, 2006 10:04 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
...how much difference it would make if you put your byline at the tail of the article instead of the head? How many people might read the article, oblivious to gender, and find out what they thought about it before they discovered the writer was a woman?

As long as there's post, there'll always be hate mail. I've no doubt there were a few poison pen letters in Kevin Costner's mailbag in that lousy movie. There certainly were afterwards =D

I've no idea why anyone would read this crap. I mean, if I received a letter headed "Dear motherf*cker," it'd be slamdunked into the wastepaper basket before you could say Magic Johnson, and I would feel a certain satisfaction in knowing that they'd wasted their time. I think there should be a code of conduct, that as soon as certain words, like 'b!tch,' 'c?nt,' 'a$$hole,' appear in a letter, the rest of it is disregarded and shredded. Of course, there has to be certain leeway, like if a letter reads "Work's a bitch." 8D

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» RE: I wonder... Posted by: dangerouslysane
Misogyny is the issue
Posted by: Freedomrider on May 25, 2006 10:22 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I have never seen such disappointing letters. The writer is making a point about misogyny being used to keep women quiet. It does matter that hate speech is used to exclude the powerless, it is one of the ways they are kept out of power. As for girls being told that their aspirations will be thwarted because they are girls, that is all to the good. There is nothing wrong with telling them the truth. They won't be able to fight back if they don't know what is happening to them.

Also, many of you missed an important point about hate speech. It inevitably leads to threats and violence. It seems that even many Alternet readers are clueless.

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» RE: Misogyny is the issue Posted by: Blue Heron
» You're right ... "clueless" Posted by: AdamSelene40
» RE: Misogyny is the issue Posted by: Lindie
» RE: Misogyny is the issue Posted by: donmac
» RE: Misogyny is the issue Posted by: Burton
but you are lucky
Posted by: owleyes on May 25, 2006 11:27 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Don't you realize that 90% of women would switch jobs with you in a heartbeat even if it meant getting hate mail? Don't you understand that most women work are physically and spiritually exhausted by their work, yet are not properly compensated? Do you not know that the situation of most women will not improve in their lifetimes? Do you not know that you are one of the few and lucky ones? I know it sucks to be called names. But you have a voice. You have a forum. You have an audience. And what do you do with it? Complain that people aren't nice to you. I wish that you could trade places with your receptionist for one day.

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» RE: but you are lucky Posted by: Aussie Kim
» RE: Receptionist Posted by: BlueTigress
» RE: eceptionist Posted by: Aussie Kim
Heidi, it's not about you
Posted by: kryptx on May 25, 2006 11:38 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
You're essentially saying that you believe you get the comments you do because of what you are, not what you say. I don't believe that any deprecating comment is appropriate, but I can assure you that the motivation to write them in the first place comes from a reaction to your ideas and not your physiology.

If you object to them using gender-specific terms when they insult you (e.g. calling you a "bitch" rather than an "asshole" or "idiot") then you should make that argument. But I don't really think it makes much of a difference -- insults are insults.

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You don’t have to be a journalist...
Posted by: supercrisp on May 25, 2006 11:53 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I work at a Midwestern R1 university, and I have heard from women teaching assistants that they catch a lot of grief from male students. I tutor students in writing, and I’m often surprised at the attitudes of some of my male students, who seem to regard their women teachers as “uppity”; it’s very hard for these boys to accept female authority. I’ve met with students who had two truly awful teachers, one male and one female, and the male would get excuses made for him while the female would be called names like “bitch,” “tyrant,” or what-have-you.

It’s really nasty. But I have to add this: it goes right along with the (misogynist) assumption that women are repositories of virtue and the (possibly true) belief that women are more nurturing than men. If that’s the image you’re set up with, people, especially thicker ones, will be surprised when that’s not your ethos. In a sense we see women’s role as conservative: a human chockfull of safe, homey goodness preserving all those nice known things. When the woman turns out to be critical, iconoclastic, withdrawn, or anything that’s not a cookie cutout of an idealized and saccharine mommie, then some people go ape.

With boys in college it’s worse. A woman who ain’t the Angel in the House is a threat to their fragile gender identity. This fragility is beaten into them, often literally. I’m not saying we should pity these fellows, but we are all responsible, as a culture, for filling their heads with this malarkey. I think men have to do most of the heavy lifting here: men, tell your fellows that woman aren’t the cartoon of women we’ve been given. And maybe let your buddies know when they seem to be wanting a mommy/Angel/virgin/whore rather than a woman. And women: if you, as some women do, claim you are morally superior to men, you exacerbate this whole problem.

I’d really like to hear how some women have dealt with these issues. I’d want to wring the kids’ necks, but it’s easy for me to sit here, not having been on the receiving end, and say “well, it’s culture...” etc.

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Where's the back story?
Posted by: YogiBear on May 25, 2006 12:07 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The thing that interests me the most about her column is that she's pursured a career as "opinion journalist" so early. Okay, she's in her 20s. I'm sure she has all sorts of life experience to draw from. What I want to know is where she worked before she hit this gig; did she work as a writer or reporter? Did she do any investigative journalism or writing? Did she work in some field that opened her eyes to the world and made her want to get on the soapbox? Did she have some trying personal experience like suffering spousal abuse or witnessing n execution, or watching her uncle die of AIDS that so inspired her?

In college opinion writing is what got me interested in journalism, from which I moved on into feature and news reporting. What got this writer motivated to become an opinion journalist? Where's the back story?

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» RE: Where's the back story? Posted by: YogiBear
» Found some of it Posted by: YogiBear
Deal with it
Posted by: rclord on May 25, 2006 12:30 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
That's what people do if they read something you wrote that they don't like...they send crazy emails because they have nothing better to do.

Maybe some newspapers and magazines are different, but on the web, I've never seen a serious gender gap when it come to hate mail.

Has anyone here ever seen www.bushflash.com? The guy who created made two Flash animations about the hate emails he got. On o'reilly-sucks.com, also created by a guy, two or three pages have hate mail, and one entire section in his forum has recent hate-emails. On another site, www.bigbadchinesemama.com, there were also hate mails, but you could see by the female creators' responses that they thought the posters were just lame.

I'm not a journalist and I don't have a blog, but I once got a few hate emails calling me a bitch and a terrorist because I sent an email protesting animal abuse in fur farms. One of them said: "U R a terrorist! You have been reported." I was startled and a little scared, but I also thought the person that wrote sounded like such a mental case it was impossible for me to be upset.

That's not to say you shouldn't be cautious; especially if the hate mail you got is a death threat. But you shouldn't take it too personally either. I guess it's easy for me to say this because most of the hate mails I read sounded to me so out to lunch that I sometimes laughed when I read them.

So I think women journalists should develop a thicker skin and deal with it. And I'm a woman myself.

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» one last thing Posted by: rclord
Shrug Them Off
Posted by: CitizenP on May 25, 2006 12:55 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
These hate mailers are pathetic. Their inept ability to engage in meaningful criticism is simply more evidence of their intellectual cowardice. The struggle for gender equality is far, far from over. Don't let them beat you. Hate comes from fear. So, take encouragement that they feel threatened. :-)

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Rejoice!
Posted by: ConnecttheDots on May 25, 2006 12:59 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Heidi, try accepting the hate mail as a sign that you're being read, and that what you write strikes a sensitive nerve with some of your readers. If you really can't stand the hate caused by gender bias, simply continue writing as you have been, but adopt a male pen name. Hey, it worked for André Norton.

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for cryin' out loud
Posted by: wisewebwoman on May 25, 2006 1:09 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
What I can't abide is the same old spelling mistakes and poor grammar in the cut and paste snips we get. Standard response to all articles? Maybe you should start thinking for yourself, fellah, or maybe you're just after a job in the WH. You'd fit.

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I've gotten a few hate mails myself, and seen many in websites
Posted by: rclord on May 25, 2006 1:32 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I thought the people that sent them were mental cases.

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Brava Heidi
Posted by: joannedickson on May 25, 2006 1:37 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It is interesting but hardly surprising that this topic inspired so many to respond. Isn't it terrific that we can respond? The attacks are discouraging and also represent the lowest intelligence and the least critical thinkers in this and other cultures.

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» RE: Brava Heidi Posted by: YogiBear
Hate mail's worse on stories about women ...
Posted by: Joshua Holland on May 25, 2006 1:56 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I get a fair amount of hatemail myself. I like it -- shows I'm tweaking the right people in the right places.

But I must say that I never got hatemail in such volume or with such hostility as I did after writing this piece about the struggle American women have in the workforce compared to women in other advanced countries.

I didn't even think the piece would be controversial, but the negative feedback was stunning -- even worse then what I've gotten after writing critically about Israel (and I thought that was the "third rail" of political writing).

I think a lot of men are just really deeply threatened by women demanding an equal footing.

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» My two cents worth Posted by: Burton
» RE: My two cents worth Posted by: Aussie Kim
» RE: My two cents worth Posted by: fork
Keep talking we are listening!
Posted by: padme on May 25, 2006 2:38 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Below is the kind of things that you need to help get out for all women!

What would you do?

Sugar and spice and everything nice.

This is suppose to every little girls life.

What happens when life is not like that?

What if your life is filled with constant abuse by the people who suppose to protect you?

For little Katelynn of Indiana, her life is filled with this from a father, stepmother and father's family; everyone but her the relatives that love her have been deined the ability to see her.

What happens when the police will not stop this?

Than try Child Protection Service, but they will not stop this either.

The next thing to do is go to the court.

What would you do if the Child Protection Services and the court helped the abusers hurt her?

The media might work but they ignore majority of average people.

In this search for help, several politicians ignored or said stop bothering them.

If these people will not help little katelynn than who will?

Will this little girl have to pay the ultimate price for these adults mistakes? What would you do?

Indiana's Shame Teardrops for Katelynn

referral sources
www.courageouskids.net

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in praise of feminist man-haters
Posted by: vespasian01 on May 25, 2006 4:22 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Though I've always found the neo variety of feminists (Post- WWII) to be obnoxious, self-absorbed and poorly-trained, I have to admit it's time to have women run the show. Democrat men in the US Senate are pus-bloated, misbegotten rodents whose only remaining function is to thank Republicans profusely for abusing them.

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Troubled Texan
Posted by: Troubled Texan on May 25, 2006 5:23 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Miss Schnakenberg,

I'm sorry you've been called those horrible names. It proves to me that those individuals need to grab a webster's dictionary and look up the words moral, virtue, adulthood, and mature.

I, myself, have sent angry emails and comments to right wing female bloggers and reporters, especially Ann Coulter, but I would never dive to the level your antagonists have resorted to.

Keep up your good work, know you're doing the right thing, and dismiss the immature childen that call you names.

Troubled

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» RE: Troubled Texan Posted by: JayDee
To hell with critics
Posted by: tanstaafl28 on May 25, 2006 7:14 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
If you feel good about what you've written and know you're right, to hell with what anyone thinks about it.

The Dixie Chicks are among my heroes, and I am not much of a country music fan.

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» RE: To hell with critics Posted by: YogiBear
» RE: To hell with critics Posted by: ConnecttheDots
Not just insults
Posted by: boygranddakar on May 25, 2006 7:49 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Those whose comments fall in the "just deal with it" or "hey, you must be doing something right" categories...

The harassment Heidi details is not just insults. She writes that other women journalists have been followed - and for a woman, that is particularly threatening.

The advice "stop whining" or "get a thicker skin" clearly would not protect a woman in this situation.

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» RE: Not just insults Posted by: BlueTigress
» this is really sexist... Posted by: Burton
» RE: this is really sexist... Posted by: Aussie Kim
» RE: this is really sexist... Posted by: Aussie Kim
» RE: Not just insults Posted by: Amy Alkon
» RE: Not just insults Posted by: Aussie Kim
» one good turn Posted by: repo
Happened to me.
Posted by: candara on May 26, 2006 1:21 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I once wrote commenting on an article that was posted on a website - Rense to be exact. I wrote it in defense of Gloria Steinem and other feminists. My comment was published. By the next day I received so much hate (e)mail as well as physical threats, I was stunned. I showed it to my b/f who was literally worried for my well being. What did I do? Chalked it up to the right wing lunatics who, for all their Christian rhetoric, are so filled with hatred, they must have a release. Then, I hit 'delete' on all the rest, without even reading them. Oh, and I also felt very sorry for any women who are crazy enough to be in their lives.

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You go, girl!
Posted by: aida1200 on May 27, 2006 9:37 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Although I am almost old enough to be Ms. Schnakenberg's grandmother, I prefer to call her sister--as in RIGHT ON, SISTER!

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Fun with hate mail
Posted by: Edward George on May 27, 2006 5:27 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I sometimes get very nasty hate mail. When I do I make it an intellectual challenge to find SOMETHING coherent in it and very carefully respond in my most objective and analytical manner. They hate that.

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Thanks for taking on this difficult, important subject
Posted by: richards1052 on May 28, 2006 12:06 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I have no doubt that women who are in the public eye (whether they be editorial writers, politicians or actors) are much more apt to be demeaned, insulted & attacked than men. This is a terrible social phenomenon and it is a shame that your newspaper employer was not more sensitive to yr concerns.

Also, it impoverishes media discourse when so few women enter editorial journalism. Who wants to listen to male voices telling the readers what's important in the world & why? I wonder whether the writer has approached a journalism watchdog publication like Columbia Journalism Review about this? It seems like a subject that deserves a wider airing than just here.

But I'd like to note (without at all contradicting anything you said), that even men who take public positions on hot button issues are equally subject to such vile abuse. For example, I write a progressive blog about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. In my comments section, I've been assaulted verbally by evangelical Christians, hardline pro-Israel Jews & anti-Semitic conspiracy theorists. I've been called vile, disgusting words. One commenter wished genocide for me and my race & said he'd be only to happy to help finish the task. The things some have said have wounded deeply & still do to some extent whenever I get such comments.

There are mean, disgusting, vile people out there. But I try not to let them get to me as much as they once did. I've instituted blog security provisions that enable me to control what's published in my blog. I find if I can stop the hate before it gets published then it doesn't upset me as much. That way, I just consign it to oblivion before anyone else has to read it.

I wonder whether female reporters can arrange for their mail to be screened so they don't have to read the worst of the s*^t? After all, why should the victim have to further victimize herself by having to read the disgusting things some people write about her?

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Kiel
Posted by: kiel on May 29, 2006 5:13 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I empathize completely, but it's not just women who get called names. As a regular blogger, I cannot even print the ones I've been called. And I usually limit my opinions to the relatively benign topics of golf and travel.

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Mitch
Posted by: mitch8789 on May 31, 2006 9:59 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Heidi,

I am a conservative in the majority of my thinking. I have been married to the same woman for 34 years; I have never deprived her of her dreams and aspirations. I still open doors for her and would die in protecting her honor.

True manhood is found NOT in what you control (assets or persons) it is found in the character/integrity that is inside. I was raised in a broken home but found character during a stint in the military and through select males that took the time to fill in "my daddy vacancy".

I am sorry for the abuse you (and other female writers) take at the hands of the misguided.

The male view of the female is(in part) highly influenced not by parents (check divorce statistics) , preachers, teachers or the well meaning, but rather by, for example, Playboy (sexual only - disposable - temporary - beauty is everything), MTV ( sexual only - must be controlled - degraded).

The problems we face in America today are much more complex than mere politics, it is a "soul" issue......

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Wake up people!
Posted by: Rachel Wayne on Jul 7, 2006 6:17 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
All of you who suggest that Heidi should go by a male pseudonym, or suck it up or deal with it, didn't read her article carefully. Her article, to me, speaks about overcoming such insults and prejudice. She's not in hiding now, and she doesn't need to go into it.

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