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The World According to Dowd

By Katha Pollitt, The Nation. Posted November 15, 2005.


Does Maureen Dowd's new book promote, rather than report on, the problems she describes?
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Maureen Dowd doesn't read my column. I know this because in her new book, Are Men Necessary?, she uncritically cites virtually every fear-mongering, backlash-promoting study, survey, article and book I've debunked in this space. She falls for that 1986 Harvard-Yale study comparing women's chances of marrying after 40 to the likelihood of being killed by a terrorist, and for the half-baked theories of Sylvia Ann Hewlett (ambitious women stay single or childless), Lisa Belkin (mothers give up their careers), Louise Story (even undergraduates understand this now) and other purveyors of the view that achievement and romance/family are incompatible for women. To be fair, Dowd apparently doesn't read Susan Faludi or Susan Douglas either, or The American Prospect, Slate, Salon or even The New Republic, home of her friend Leon Wieseltier, much thanked for editorial help in her introduction -- all of which have published persuasive critiques of these and other contributions to backlash lit. Still, it hurts. I read her, after all. We all do.

Are Men Necessary? is a Feminism Is Dead polemic, put through a Dowdian styleblender. Like her New York Times column, it's funny and free-associative and not afraid of self-contradiction, full of one-liners and puns: Women who let men grab the check are "fem-freeloading" a "quid profiterole" (ouch). Like her column, too, it's heavy on media fluff: silly trend stories, women's magazine features and interviews with editors of same, dubious gender-difference studies. It's annoying to read pronouncements about feminism based mostly on chats with her friends in the media about men, clothes, TV shows and Botox. Why not call up some people who actually do feminist work?

Dowd sees young women dashing back to the 1950s as fast as their Manolos will carry them: making a bestseller of The Rules, changing their names when they marry, obsessing about their looks. There were moments when I felt Dowd and I live on different planets -- is pay inequity really now dismissively referred to as "girl money"? Are young women in search of boyfriends really "cultivating the venerable tricks of the trade: an absurdly charming little laugh, a pert toss of the head, an air of saucy triumph"? The young women I know -- most of whom, contrary to stereotype, have no problem calling themselves feminists -- are so far ahead of where I was at their age, so much more confident and multicompetent and worldly-wise, I only wish I could hire one to renegotiate my girl-money salary for me.

But glamorous gams, trademark dyed red hair and all, Dowd at least gets it that the problem today isn't that old-school feminists once frowned on Barbie. She doesn't applaud today's retro/raunch gender politics as the return of sanity and fun. And it's hard to deny that there's a reality out there of which she gives a slapdash, cartoon, Style-section version. There is some truth to Dowd's horrified depiction of the hypersexualized culture of "hotness" vividly described in Ariel Levy's much-discussed polemic Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture. (Dowd mentions a piece by Levy in her book; Levy's lovestruck profile of Dowd -- it mentions that red hair nine times! -- made the cover of New York.) Eating disorders, breast implants, stripper chic, Queen for a Day weddings, the resurgence of "girl" and "chick" -- it's not a happy story.

But these troubling cultural trends aren't the whole story either. How many young women flash their breasts for the camera or flog themselves academically all the way to the Ivy League merely to snag a rich husband? More than minor in women's studies, volunteer for rape-crisis hotlines, have black belts in karate or PhDs in physics or raise Macedonian sheepdogs? Do we know that more women want the man to pay the bill than want to share it or, if that's too mechanical, work out some other arrangement that feels equal? It's a myth that my generation and Dowd's were a unified band of sisters, forging ahead in our sneakers and power suits. By many measures young women today are far more independent than we were -- more likely to finish college and have advanced degrees, to work in formerly all-male occupations, to have (or acknowledge having) lesbian sex, to refuse to suffer in silence rape, harassment, abuse. If we're going by anecdotal evidence from our circles of friends, I know young women who've made the finals in the Intel science contest and worked on newspapers in Africa, who've had sperm-bank babies alone or with other women, who play rugby, make movies, write feminist/political/literary blogs, organize unions, raise money for poor women's abortions.

"You're always so glass-half-full in public," my editor says at this point. "But in private you're as down as Dowd." Well, not quite that down. But yes, I thought we'd be further along by now. I feel for young women today -- somehow, between the irony and the knowingness and the 24/7 bath in pop celebrity culture and its repulsive values, it can be harder for them than it was for us to call a sexist spade a spade. They've been bombarded from birth with consumerism and Republicanism and hyperindividualism, and told in every possible way that feminism is deeply uncool and unhot. Dowd is such a credulous audience for backlash propaganda it doesn't occur to her that she is promoting, not reporting, the problem she describes. I'm amazed, actually, that feminism is still around, given the press it gets.

Dowd, for example, thinks feminism may be a "cruel hoax" because it keeps women single -- men are scared of spunky, successful women. (In interviews Dowd denies she's attributing her own unmated state to her fame and fabulousness, but that's how she's been read.) Well, some men definitely want the young compliant type. But -- anecdotal evidence again -- most women in my circle are paired, and we are all feminists and really, really great. Men hold a lot of cards in the mating game, but fewer than they used to, and women hold more than before. There has never been a better time in all world history to be a 53-year-old single woman looking for romance. Besides, as ferocious young Jessica Valenti put it over at Feministing.com, "Feminism isn't a f***ing dating service." Out of the mouths of babes.

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Katha Pollitt is a columnist for The Nation.

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How refreshing!!
Posted by: Sojourner on Nov 15, 2005 4:23 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Thank you for lifting the discussion level at least a couple of notches. I see no problem with ambitious women -- at least no problems other than those with ambitious men. I think we mistake the problem of ambition for one of gender. For Aristotle, ambition has no 'golden mean.' It's always necessarily too much or too little.

That women want to join men in getting all mucked up in ambition is the dark side of feminism. That issue was attributed to pigism when raised by men and so denied. In practice it is a raging fire. When women choose as their model the ambitious man, they'd better damned well be ready for a fight. You cannot have "Ladies first" applied to the CEO's job without resistance.

Women who carry their ambition home should expect the same armored body language that men have always received.

I take some comfort in the fact that we have some instinctual responses that shrink us when we get greedy. The Greeks called it hubris. If ambition is sexy, it's because we're sick.

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Feminism is inevitable
Posted by: janvdb on Nov 16, 2005 11:04 AM   
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Feminism may not be proceding at the rate we would prefer but back to basics here:

Global population is above long-term sustainable carrying capacity. Birth rates must fall or death rates will rise. Birth rates are falling everywhere, though too slowly in some places. As birth rates fall, women are suddenly mothering only one or two children instead of 8 to 12.

Bam, they are liberated.

Modern economies must have a few well-educated workers, not armies of unskilled laborers. Wages for unskilled labor are falling; workers are in excess. Economies cannot absorb large numbers of poorly-raised children; mass youth unemployment results and this leads to riots, unrest and terrorism.

Successful mothers have one or two high-quality children; the women themselves are then free to change their lives.

The men don't like it, but the alternative is war, disease, environmental destruction and death. Those parts of the world which have most steadfastly refused to "liberate" their women are now already sinking into seriously problematic situations -- Africa and the Middle East.

Meanwhile, those regions which have seen sharp declines in birth rates are moving to join the "civilized world:" China, India and northern Mexico.

The US is caught in between. We have a large population with a low birth rate and another population with a much higher birth rate -- our immigrants. This is largely due to our government's failure to provide health care to those populations.

But the continued failure to thrive of cultures with oppressed women and high birth rates, the continued decline of wages for unskilled labor, the continued ravages of warfare and disease on those cultures which cannot adapt to the demands of the modern global labor market -- these will DOOM those cultures which oppress women.

The US is now poised to join either the "civilized" or the doomed oppressors of women. It's about the quality of our labor force.

It's inevitable. Only cultures which allow women to control the rate of birth and raise well-educated, highly-skilled children will thrive. The others will be ground under their own weight.

Feminism: Slow but sure.

Jan VanDenBerg

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Boring
Posted by: eastcoker on Nov 16, 2005 6:20 PM   
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I find this discussion of feminism boring. Who cares who pays the bills? Who cares who gets the degress? What about human love and caring?
Both of these discussions on feminism have I read on Alternet today have greatly disappointed me. They are all about luxury problems, problems of the first world, problems of the well off. What about the problems of suffering women? Poor women? Do they count for nothing? Not all women can make it to the university you know, even those who SHOULD be professors.

I think Alternet is out of touch with reality. It only represents a SMALL portion of the population, the privileged educated class...the academic elite...

I would like to see more 'third world voices' on here personally soon. Let's see third world feminism! Let's see African feminism! What does that look like?

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Maureen and the status of rich men's wives, ex-wives and should-be, could-be wives
Posted by: janvdb on Nov 19, 2005 12:02 PM   
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If we must discuss Maureen Dowd: Why is a nice girl like that still unmarried -- OK, that's the question, right?

She's powerful and well-known and she hangs out in a crowd of that kind of men. That kind of man generally wants a younger, more attentive woman. Besides, with her job, the outlines of the relationship would become public, which could be embarrassing.

She loves her job, won't give it up, so she writes "What's a Modern Girl to Do?"

We know all that much.

We still live in a world wherein a woman's status is largely set by the status of her husband. So, if Maureen marries, she may think she must marry one of her peers, just to maintain her present status. However, those peers want her underlings. If she marries one of the dozens of lower-status men who would surely have her -- don't tell me there isn't a small swarm of wanna-bes, hangers-on, strivers, climbers and normal guys who would marry her in a heartbeat -- her status will FALL upon marriage. DROP LIKE A STONE.

A man just like her who did exactly that would experience an small increase in status, even if he married a shopgirl.

Women are accustomed to their status RISING upon marriage.

Maybe she just needs to get over the idea that her marriage must be status-enhancing or at least not damaging, marry some unknown who wants to do whatever is involved with children and get on with "being happy."

Or, maybe, really, she just wants to continue to live the way she is now. Makes perfect sense.

Maureen Dowd has a nice life. If it ain't broke, why fix it?

continued below . . .

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Maureen's marriage and her status, continued from above
Posted by: janvdb on Nov 19, 2005 12:03 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
She is in the odd location of a woman who gets more status from being the should-be could-be wife of a crowd of men we all know "should" marry her if they weren't sexist idiots than she would from any actual marriage she could pull off in this real world full of sexist idiots.

So, what I'd really like Maureen Dowd to do is stop whining and saying that she wants to get married and have children "like everyone else." (She actually said that on Larry King – gag.) If she isn't willing to pay the cost in status that such a move will ACTUALLY exact from her in this imperfect world and marry the men who ACTUALLY want to marry her then she should just say so.

Accept it. Be single. Repeat after me, “I simply don’t want to marry any of the men around me at this time and I love my life as it is.” See how easy that was? Don't worry. Be happy.

Ditch the book.

Jan VanDenBerg

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» Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Posted by: MartianBachelor
Chris
Posted by: Chris500 on Nov 23, 2005 5:36 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Like a lot of others, this issue seems complicated only because journalists get paid by the word. The truth is, whatever makes a romance work is pretty much up to the two people involved in it. But out in public, women and men are equals. That's the law, and all we need to do as a society is enforce it.

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