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Porn Star Marcus London's Fascinating Quest to Be the King of 'Squirt'

The porn mogul has set the world record for making women ejaculate, and his new squirt watch could teach the world how to perfect his technique.
 
 
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Photo Credit: Brad Jonas

 

An extended version of this article first appeared on NSFWCORP. Published daily online and monthly in print, NSFWCORP is the Future of Journalism (With Jokes). For more features, or to subscribe, click here.

I’ve been with Marcus London less than 10 minutes, and already we're watching porn. On the screen, a fleshy blur of jackhammering and grunting fills a set dressed to recall a Roman costume party. Marcus is a porn star. A short British man, covered in tan, with bulbous muscles that strain the veiny seams of his skin. He has closely cropped hair, translucent white teeth, and the kind of bright blue eyes that don’t require careful lighting to illuminate. Some faded tribal tattoos adorn his biceps, which bulge from what appears to be a woman’s black tank top.

He outlines his special gift as only Marcus London can: “I can put my hand inside a woman and I can tell. I can feel things. Like car mechanics looking under the hood of a car, I know what does what.”

He has already informed me with professional pride that he recently set— created, then set—the world record for making women ejaculate: five women in 30 seconds. And he claims he can teach any man to make any woman “squirt.” For those without his natural expertise, he has created an educational DVD, and an extraordinary wristwatch.

We'll get back to the watch. At the moment he is cruising through porn tube sites, trying to find the pop-up ad that redirects to his series of instructional videos. A blur of bleached assholes, hypertrophied penises, and small, pink nipples cover the monitor. He can’t find the pop-up.

“I don’t have any respect for porn. Just ’cause I do it, don’t mean that I like it.” It’s daunting, the task of profiling a person. I want to get everything right, see all the angles, watch and learn and dissect and piece back together all the parts that so seamlessly blend together to make one whole person. Marcus London will prove to be a difficult study.

The Beginning

I first met Marcus at the 2013 Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, a massive convention of porn stars and pervy novelty products. The Expo is the cash-cow prelude to the "Oscars of porn," the Adult Video News (AVN) Awards. Marcus was in Sin City to promote “Spartacus MMXII: The Beginning,” a reimagining of the gladiatorial classic, with hardcore fucking. The movie, which Marcus had written, produced and directed, was a shoo-in for an AVN, but Marcus had far larger ambitions. Marcus was already a star, a two-time AVN Award winner with over 384 film appearances to his name and a dozen directorial credits. He acted like a star too.

My assignment was to interview him at the penthouse suite at the Hard Rock Casino and Hotel. His smothering, schmoozy agent fussed over my hair and patted my arm every 15 minutes or so with an update as to Marcus’ estimated time of arrival.

Finally the Star arrived, fresh from the airport, with his pretty blonde wife in tow. He shook my hand, invited me to sit back down, and motioned to his wife to do the same. Before we started, Marcus wanted to make one thing very clear. Even though "Spartacus" was nominated for “Best Porn Parody–Drama,” his masterpiece (based on the STARZ show, not the movie) was not a parody. In fact, Marcus practically flinched at the sound of the “p-word.” His preferred term was “sexually acted epic.” (Later that weekend, when "Spartacus" won, Marcus repeated this assertion from the stage. As if prepared for such an eventuality—and the lawsuits that would follow without a “parody” defense—a curvy blonde woman clamped her hand over his mouth and escorted him off stage). One on one, though, Marcus had free reign to explain what set his movie apart.

 
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