One Convention Opinion: A Horrible No-Good First Night
Everyone wants to be polite to Ann Romney and say nice things about her speech. What I want to know is who wrote it. Because it was the most incoherent piece of crap I've ever seen anyone try to deliver. She came out of the box telling us that she didn't want to talk about politics. She wanted to talk about love. And then she didn't talk about love for about fifteen minutes. Instead, she talked about politics. And women. And how women sigh at night just a little bit louder than men. She did eventually get around to talking about her husband, and the tail end of her speech wasn't all that bad. But it was disjointed and awkward. Parts of it seemed like a straight-up apology for their wealth. "Don't hate us because we're rich cuz it's hard having five boys in your living room." The audience was flat and after the first few minutes increasingly bored and listless.
Chris Christie's speech might have been worse. He spent the first precious twenty minutes of his primetime network airtime talking exclusively about himself and his record as governor of New Jersey. Honestly, who cares? This wasn't supposed to be an audition for 2016. Mitt Romney was looking on mostly stone-faced, probably wondering when, if ever, Christie was going to make an argument for Romney's presidency.
And this merely continued a trend that went on all night. Ohio Governor John Kasich and South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley spent all their time talking about how great the economies of the respective states are doing, which would seem to be a good argument for retaining the current president. Rick Santorum barely mentioned Romney at all, although he did at least repeat some of Romney's most egregious and racially-motivated lies.
Everything about the convention today was bad. The backdrop for the speakers looked like something between a smoke-filled room and a cloudy sky, with the oscillating colors serving mainly as a nausea-inducing distraction.
The arena was half-filled and the place wasn't miked in a way that could disguise the hollowness of the acoustics. The crowd was depressingly old and clearly up well past their bedtime. Obvious applause lines were barely noticed. Nikki Haley's jaw was so clenched that she looked like a meth-head. Ann Romney's dress only served to make her look more overweight than she actually is. Chris Christie scowled through his supposedly uplifting lines. Mitt Romney looked like he was deeply displeased with the proceedings.
The bottom line was that no one made the case for Mitt Romney. No one even wanted to talk about him, including his wife. The crowd didn't seem to even be excited to be there.
But, really, Ann Romney's speechwriter is the biggest hack in the universe. I wonder if she actually wrote it herself and no one had the balls to edit it .