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Health & Wellness

New Popular Self-Help Books Share One Message: You're an Idiot

By Caitlin Carpenter, Christian Science Monitor. Posted February 17, 2008.


Once known for gentle cheerleading and encouragement, the genre now berates readers with sharp criticism for personal shortcomings.
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Of all the aisles in the typical American bookstore, none has expanded faster than the one devoted to self-help. But customers looking for some sage words of relationship advice or a little "you can do it!" encouragement to lose weight may be in for a shock. The motivational gurus of the Simon Cowell (of "American Idol" fame) generation are here with blunt appraisals of our personal shortcomings.

Pointed and politically incorrect titles like "He's Just Not That Into You" and "Skinny Bitch" are burning up bestseller lists and inspiring copycats. The latter, written by former model Kim Barnouin and modeling agent Rory Freedman, is now No. 1 in paperback advice books on The New York Times bestseller list. A cookbook sequel came out in December.

Experts say their popularity reflects a demand from young, mainly female readers for in-your-face entertainment mixed with advice. While some say this new writing style may work where traditional prose or experts have failed, others question whether this trend degrades the reader and reflects poorly on our self-centered society.

"There's this new breed of self-help book," says Terrence Real, a bestselling self-help speaker and author of "The New Rules of Marriage." "They have a very black-and-white message that appeals to some people. Whatever the overt message is, the underlying message is, 'You're an idiot.' "

The new cookbook by Ms. Barnouin and Ms. Freedman promotes a vegan diet. A sassy illustration of an angular woman in a chic cocktail dress on the cover and advice such as "Stop being a moron and start getting skinny" hint at the vulgarity-laden blunt talk found inside.

Their first book didn't get much traction, selling only 10,000 copies when it debuted in 2005. But in May 2007, when the lithe Victoria Beckham was photographed holding up a copy in a Los Angeles store (despite the fact that she didn't buy it and says "I've never read a book in my life"), sales soared.

This nontraditional approach and vernacular voice also permeate "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys." While relationship books of the past featured hints on how to attract "the man of your dreams," this book -- which sold 30,000 copies in the first two weeks after its release in 2004 -- tells women that if a guy doesn't call or ask them out right away, he's not interested, and they should give up.

The book's title -- from a line of dialogue in a "Sex and the City" episode -- has become such a catchphrase that it's being turned into a major film starring Ben Affleck and Jennifer Aniston. Meanwhile, the success of Freedman and Barnouin's books have prompted them to begin work on another, this one for pregnant women.

The new, no-holds-barred world of self-help also includes "Why You're Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not to Get Mad" (May 2006) and "You're Fat! Now Lose It!" (September 2007).

A desire to improve and achieve goals is part of American character and history, says John Hinds, an author and reviewer of hundreds of self-help products. The trend started in the 18th century, when self-improvement tips began to appear in booklets and newspapers.

Self-help book sales quadruple


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See more stories tagged with: self-help, self help

Caitlin Carpenter is a correspondent for The Christian Science Monitor.

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what we don't need is more nasty people
Posted by: davescott on Feb 19, 2008 3:19 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
the article mentions Wendy Kaminer. I loved her critique of the 12 step movement back when that was all the rage. Rule 1 of 12-step Programs was never say anything bad about 12-step programs. How absurd. As for self-help books, I have low expecations, but my sense is life is pretty hard for a lot of people as it is. I like positive, affirming approaches. And books that use science well: Stumbling into Happiness was very good.

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Masochism
Posted by: magistre on Feb 20, 2008 7:09 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This is what society in general has been "trained" (brainwashed) to be!

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» RE: Masochism Posted by: clvngodess
Don't blame book buyers. Used to be you went over Niagra in a barrel to get attention.
Posted by: Sojourner on Feb 21, 2008 12:32 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The Book Industry Study Group has estimated that 3.09 billion books were sold in 2005, and 3.10 billion in 2006, for net dollar sales of $34.63 billion in 2005 and $35.69 billion in 2006. BISG projects that sales will be 3.15 billion in 2007, 3.18 billion in 2008, and 3.24 billion in 2011. http://www.steamthing.com/2007/12/are-americans-s.html

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Here's a title:
Posted by: kepstein7777 on Feb 21, 2008 3:06 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
"Stop wasting your money on self-help books, you idiot."

The problem with self-help books is not the tone of the books, but the narcissism it feeds on. Whether it tells you you're a wonderful person or an idiot, it's still all about you, isn't it?

If you want to feel better, or be a better person, try helping others instead of yourself for a change. Buy them a self-help book, call them an idiot, or tell them what their problem is.

Okay...Maybe I've read one or two, but I get them out of the library, which is full of the self-help books people have thrown away to make room for more self-help books. After the first couple of chapters, I get the general idea, and I can use my money to pay off some library fines.

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» RE: Here's a title: Posted by: Fat Man at the Buffet Line
Oprah KNOWS you are an idiot
Posted by: drblack on Feb 21, 2008 3:27 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Oprah knows her viewers are idiots. That is why she pushes the Secret on them.
She is the biggest pusher of this terrible "self Help" book.
I guess if you are where you are because of luck you need to justify and explain it somehow.
The scientific method works for ALL things, including self help.
With science all things are possible.
Faith is a great way for unscrupulous people to exploit and profit from fools.

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Self Help
Posted by: GPFrank on Feb 21, 2008 4:20 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Read Dostyevsky's "The Idiot"

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Idiots Guide to Idiots
Posted by: Sushi on Feb 21, 2008 4:47 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The "insult" theme started with the Idiots Guides, those step-you-through-from-scratch, assuming you knew absolutely nothing about the subject. They became enormously popular because they didn't assume people had any basic knowledge, like so many "help" books previously available.

The best thing that can be said is that people are at least reading something instead of watching the tube.

I sure hope the next president goes back to making education a priority. We've lost an entire generation's intelligence potential.

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Author is Incorrect on Origin of Book Title
Posted by: Aimleft on Feb 21, 2008 4:53 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
"He's Just Not Into You" didn't come from a line in Sex in the City - Sex in the City derived that storyline from the already published book.

And as far as the book itself goes, I read it and found it wildly entertaining, helpful, and true. My own brother recommended it to me. Sad but true, it pretty much lays it on the line as to how guys think, and any honest guy would tell you the same.

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» RE: Author is Incorrect on Origin of Book Title Posted by: Fat Man at the Buffet Line
help looking out, not in
Posted by: siamdave on Feb 21, 2008 5:14 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
self help can be good or bad, depending. one thing it depends on is whether it helps you become more free or less. For more, try They're Building a Box - and You're In It

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HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
Posted by: VZEQICVA on Feb 21, 2008 7:03 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
An exception to the rest and not about self help. Men seem able to decide whether or not they like a woman without all the hand wringing and consulting with friends. I saw the authors interviewed and they made many good points, all of which were true. Women like to think that they can do something to change a man's mind. They can't. It is, or it ain't. It's one of the differences between us. And goo to know. Thanks, ANNA

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Only women are stupid enough to buy
Posted by: cindyn on Feb 21, 2008 7:07 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
this kind of crap.

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And You Are An Idiot...
Posted by: InsertNameHere on Feb 21, 2008 7:15 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
If you waste your money on self-help books. I've watched my Mother and girlfriend go through every 'self-help' fad over the years from the Celestine Prophecy to Dr. Phil. My Mom still has the same pessimistic attitude. What does that prove? I don't know. What I do know is that most of this crap is basically common sense wrapped in either pseudo-psychology or some perversion of eastern mysticism.

I should write a fucking self-help book and cash in on these people if they are so willing to throw money at bullshit!

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Politically Correct Prose
Posted by: LeeAnnG on Feb 21, 2008 7:17 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
God I wish people would stop using the term "politically correct" as an insult! It really has no explicit meaning, and it's used in so many contexts, if it ever had one, that meaning has been obscured. Does this author mean "excessively sensitive"? Or what?

Usually when someone says, "I know this is not politically correct, but..." it means that person is going to say something insensitive, prejudiced, or otherwise insulting and that this is preferable to the mistake of being too politically correct. (Too respectful? Too sensitive to other human beings? Too inclusive? Too egalitarian?)

I even read in Card Player that being politically correct assumes that everyone is alike. I have no idea where the author of that article came up with this ridiculous notion.

If anything, "politically correct" means not using pejorative terms to categorize people, it means being sensitive and respectful, and it means recognizing that everyone is an individual. It most definitely is not about making everyone the same.

No matter how one defines "politically correct," the insulting type of self-help literature most assuredly is not politically correct. It's not even "socially correct." It's just nasty, demeaning, and shallow. And that's not "politically correct" by any standards.

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The triumph of the snide
Posted by: apple pie on Feb 21, 2008 8:42 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I am glad that the Caitlan Carpenter has noticed and exposed this trend. I also have noticed something similar in YA (young adult) fiction recently. I call it "The triumph of the snide" and it all seems to revolve around that old juvenile brutality "I'm cooler than you are and here's why."

Snideness may seem trendy and may generate profits for the conglomerate publishing corps but the promotion of these types of attitudes, of constant competition towards an idealized happiness, or the ultra-hip coolness of being snide, is troubling because it is part of a process of directing people to adopt certain attitudes.

We are just about to elect a black man or a woman for president and yet the culture continues to slide backwards to preterite brutalities and 'us-and-them' simplifications. How typical, and unimaginative, of our capitalist providers.

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One Self-Help Book We'll Never See....
Posted by: Libertine on Feb 21, 2008 9:06 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
...is a book about tact and common courtesy. Too bad, as our increasingly rude society from political pundits who specialize in ad hominem attacks, such as Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Hannity, et al, to popular TV shows, such as Scrubs, which are little more than half-hour insult-a-thons, to these self-"help" books have done much to reduce the tone of our culture to the lowest common denominator.

Everyone has faults in this life. And everyone will continue to have faults of some sort or another. There's no point in berating people for being human.

But the publishing industry, like any other, is all about the money. If being tactful suddenly became trendy, these moronic insulting books would be shifted to the remainder table so fast your head would spin.

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I Have Seen...
Posted by: Wacre on Feb 21, 2008 10:48 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
this coming for quite awhile. I mean, why would anyone buy any of the _________________ for Dummies books anyway? I understand that they aren't written to attack whomever might read them, but for me the whole premise is off.

Just because I don't know something doesn't make me (or anyone else) dumb, it just means that there is something that I don't know.

'Dumb' is a value judgement, just like 'good', 'bad', 'stupid' and so forth. These terms reflect less upon the person they are directed at oftentimes than the person who is doing the directing.

For example, I generally avoid calling George Bush stupid–which is not the same as saying that's he's the brightest person I ever heard of–but he's probably not stupid either. It's more a case of me feeling powerless to stop his driving the United States (and the world) into a hole that could take us a long, long time to get out of.

Plus, if you're believe things like Intelligent Design, despite all the evidence to the contrary, and go about trying to stop people from believing ideas that are more than likely true, like Evolution, then 'stupid' is a moniker one should get comfortable with, because you are going to hear it quite often.

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Too true
Posted by: DeeOhGee on Feb 21, 2008 12:17 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The article might be funny except for the fact that it's true: most people actually ARE idiots.

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» Not my experience Posted by: LeeAnnG
Instead of JUNK READING like these books,
Posted by: TheNamelessCity on Feb 21, 2008 2:19 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Americans need to do a lot of reading of HISTORY and SCIENCE!! Something few seem to know anything about any more.

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And DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING FROM YESTERDAY'S POST ON BI-POLAR DISORDER?
Posted by: Prairie Waif on Feb 21, 2008 7:35 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I realize that many self-help books are not self-help but self-delusion.

DID READERS LEARN ANYTHING FROM YESTERDAY'S DISCOURSE ON MENTAL HEALTH?

I feel very sad for all those lonely souls that I KNOW who have socializing problems due to anxiety disorders and other mental health problems who you have all condemned as IDIOTS because they have sought some "insight" in a book.

Often particular books are recommended by Psychiatrists, Social Workers, or Mental Health Workers or a Support Reading Group.

And you have condemned every one in the Self-help Book Aisle as an idiot. I am heartsick for all my friends who suffer and try to learn through some of the well written books. It hurts to know that you can smugly laugh at them without knowing the pain that put them in front of those shelves and books.

For you, attending a party may be second nature, but to someone with anxiety disorder combined with a new diagnosis of schizo-affective disorder, they may be looking for books on communication, how to socially interact; ANYTHING that won't give them away as being "different."

I find all of the posts to be nothing but discouraging with no realization that there are genuine help books on the "self-help" bookshelves.
*Post-Traumatic Stress Handbook
*Living with Bi-Polar Disorder
*Suicide: Prevention and Assistance
*Schizophrenia for Care Givers

Etc.

You?

sigh.

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The Continued Dumbing Down of the American Sheep
Posted by: Makan on Feb 21, 2008 8:47 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I have a couple of people I work with who bring in their self-help books on a daily basis for years now. Sadly I can say that these expensive works they parade to the rest of us haven't done jack shit for any of them other than make them poorer spending needless money on them.
What these people lack is common sense.

Often I quoted George Macaulay Trevelyan, the English historian who said the following:

Education has produced a vast population able to read, but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.

And then there is Mary Harris "Mother" Jones who gave us this---- "Sit down and read. Educate yourself for the coming conflicts."

Common sense isn't so very common. Voltaire...

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» RE: The Continued Dumbing Down of the American Sheep Posted by: Fat Man at the Buffet Line
Even in a pile of crap, you can sometimes find a pearl of wisdom...
Posted by: msteryis on Feb 22, 2008 7:27 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Skinny Bitches is vituperative, misogynist garbage "written" by two mental lightweights and should be ignored.

However, I read He's Just Not That Into You. The guy's take was that he was sick of seeing the otherwise strong, independent women in his life wringing their hands in vain over men who would never commit to them. He went through a number of archetypes, and I found myself nodding in agreement as I recognized a number of these types of guys from my own experience. He tells women to stop hoping that a guy will change and to stop making excuses for his behavior.

A man is who he was when you met him; if he shows no inclination to make a commitment, stop wasting your time and MOVE ON. "Don't waste the pretty" is some of the best advice that the author could give. Life is short. Get out there and find someone who will TRULY appreciate you!

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Message: "It's your fault."
Posted by: pangolin on Feb 23, 2008 12:20 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Can't find a solid relationship in a world that instructs women to look for "mr. perfect" or "THE ONE"? It's your fault. Can't maintain a decent weight in a car culture environment? It's your fault. That's really the point of all these "self-help" books you know. They are there to keep you blaming yourself and keep you from looking for ways to improve your environment.

It just couldn't be possible that the food that most people eat is starved of nutrients could it? It takes time and energy to learn to cook a variety of seasonal green vegetables and somebody has to be home from work to teach you. Cattle raised in pens aren't eating grass and therefore your meat and milk products have the fatty acid profile of corn rather than salmon. Likewise all of that food in boxes has been treated to extend it's shelf life. What's the shelf life of a fresh food compared to that?

People can't find good relationships because they don't get any exposure to good relationships when they are young. Kids farmed out to schools, ballet and piano classes aren't exposed to adults working things out with their spouses. The lack of neighborhood life in suburbs eliminates any place to walk to or reasons to walk there. If your model of a relationship is what's on TV your ability to deal with a real person with real problems will be scant.

If you seperate a dog or cat from certain key experiences at the proper stages of growth they never mature properly. Cats kept inside never learn to kill prey so they will catch and play with mice and not kill them. Dogs that grow up without older dogs around never learn to socialize properly with dogs and behave wierdly. Why we think that humans are different is bizzarre.

Aboriginal humans that grow up in villages are generally happy, have good family relationships and suffer few mental health problems as long as they have food. With all our prosperity we are generally miserable. We lost something.

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» Change is difficult Posted by: mr. joshua